Balls constantly coming into my garden and damaging plants -AIBU?

[ScaleInsectGoo]

I know I'll probably be called a joy killing unreasonable cow but here goes.

We have smallish gardens on my street - approx 8m wide and 10m long. I like gardening and I like to grow plants for food and fun.

My neighbour has two sons now aged 13 and 17. They kick various shaped balls against the back wall of their house daily, really really hard, so that balls come over into my garden (rebounding off the wall) several times a day. They are going fast and when they hit plants they do damage. The boundary is a 6 ft fence and shrubs on their side that grow up to about 10-12 ft.

This has been a regular summer occurrence for years and while the kids were younger I recognised that they couldn't do it elsewhere and also they didn't kick as hard so it was less often and less hard.
But AIBU to think that now they are old enough to go to the local park independently where there is loads of space and football nets and they can kick as hard as they like without causing damage to anyone's garden, they should do that instead?
Also AIBU to think that they're old enough to understand that in their garden they need to kick less hard since the balls are coming over so often?

I'm not someone who expects to not know they're near other people. I live in a small property with the neighbours around and I expect and accept noise, barbecues, trampolines etc etc. I just don't want my garden to be damaged by someone else's careless use of their own. AIBU?

Why can’t he kick it at ground level or daily low? Can he not kick it high against your wall instead of towards the neighbours garden?

Given them a warning and let them know you are going to confiscate the balls if they don't cut it out

<sniggers>

Bit extreme 🤣🤣🤣🤣

But it is her plants that are getting damaged.
Damaging someone else's property is obviously not ok

And making the thread all about them

@StormingNorman

Why is that extreme?

They are destroying her plants.

I read it as different balls you wanted to confiscate 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Funnily enough I'm in the same position sort of. Kids over the back are always kicking the ball over. We always return them when we notice... however today was different. Knock at door (which never happens)kid says the ball has gone over. So I throw it back over. Turn 30 mins later same again my wife throws it back . Then another knock saying a different ball had gone over...wife throws it back. Then another knock saying there are loads of footballs in our garden, my wife looks again ( I wouldn't have bothered at this point as thought they were taking the mick). Then to top it off they then later on knocked on our door and ran away - I mean I used to do this is as kid but had the intelligence to avoid neighbours who returned my football. So in conclusion the football that came over later on won't be getting returned. Guess they've gotta learn about consequences.

'I grow plants from seed. By the time they are planted in my garden, some have had several years of close attention. So several years of my time and energy. You would replace that how?

Yes - plants aren't quite like other things that can be bought again. I have some rare plants that I've gone to a lot of trouble and expense to obtain, and they've been growing in my garden for some years. You can't just replace an established plant like for like necessarily.
Also - I often grow from seed veg plants, not the varieties that can be bought as plants from garden centres. When a ball lands on a tray of small plants they can be wiped out and it can be too late to re sow so they're just gone for that year.
When you really care about your garden and your precious plants then a ball being booted into them would be akin to one being booted through your living room window into a treasured display cabinet/TV/whatever else you particularly care about.

What you need @ScaleInsectGoo is a football loving dog.

My JRT loves a football, she thinks it's the best thing ever when she goes off into the garden and there's her prize just there waiting, only trumped by her being there when one comes flying over and she gets to chase it and then kill it. And kill it she does.

My garden isn't bordered by any other gardens the kids play football on the road and neighbours private drive, kicking against their fence and mine. I used to throw them back when it happened, told the kids they were fine coming in the garden through the gate to collect if it happens when I'm out. Dogs are never out unsupervised so I used to rescue the ball before she got it.

All I got in return was one of my fence panels destroyed because they couldn't be bothered to walk a bit further and go through the gate and told to fuck off when I repaired it and strengthened it and caught one trying to kick it down and asked them not to. I blocked it right off and now the bushes have grown again they can't get through, and I started locking the gate. Oh well. Dog had a new hobby for a while 🤣 they suddenly seem able to control it a lot better when they get it thrown back shred by shred 🤣.

Could have all been avoided if they'd just had a bit of respect in the first place for other people's stuff, they had no respect for mine, so I didn't see why I should rescue their balls from my dog any more 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m answering comments where I’m quoted! 😂 Honestly, everyone can highlight my comments but I’m not allowed to respond?

But you’re right it’s probably been far more entertaining than watching The responder on tv. Either way the op has plenty in the echo chamber agreeing with her. I’ve made my point.

Could you get a higher fence?

I agree you wait til they come for the balls and then explain the issue. They should perhaps put up a net so it's harder for the balls to come over. My neighbors have had to do the same as they were losing so many balls to other peoples gardens. And the dog next door to me used to burst them if they went in his garden.

They're coming over 10-12ft shrubs so I don't think I could reasonably get a fence higher than that 🤣

Sadly a dog is also not an option. Hopefully holding the balls hostage and then a polite convo with parent will resolve the matter. 🤞

Hopefully their planting contains shrubs spikey enough to burst balls that land in them, even if help is needed.

Translation: "No one agrees with me and I cannot produce a cogent argument."

My parents (keen gardeners) had this. They moved. They lived right opposite a huge park too. The parents were just inconsiderate arses. Like one poster on this thread...

I work in a high school and they do kick the ball so hard!

My son is 12 and is on a football team so he enjoys playing but we've been in our house for a year now and I refuse to let him play with a ball in our garden. We have a park nearby so he goes there to play.

I think I would have to say something. Don't give them back until they ask for them (but definitely lock your gate because sometimes they'll just come in if you're not there). When they come knocking, you can ask them to be more considerate. If they carry on then go to parents.

I would not be offended if someone asked my children to be more considerate.

Why should they have a high enough fence to stop your off-spring being an anti-social brat, though it sounds clear where he has learned his lack of manners.

No. Translation: I took over the thread and no one wants to hear from me. That’s fine. I’ve argued beautifully. Not everyone appreciates it. I could argue all night but others don’t think I should 💁

Tbf there is a limit to how many angry women I can respond to!

I despise this as well! Our old neighbours kids were the same. ultimately though our dog loved destroying balls and I often didn’t notice that one had come over before it was too late. But I did throw the destroyed balls back over. Not my fault if they’re coming over…

Oh dear. An insecure little misogynist to boot...

@Sometimeswinning You sound like a terrible neighbour. You'd die on the hill of your son disrupting the perfectly acceptable reasonable enjoyment of your neighbours in their own garden without a ball flying over? If you're blaming the net or whatever then replace it with something else he can practice with, without kicking a fucking ball over. Your entitlement is wild.

If your son keeps kicking balls into other people's gardens, and you don't want him to play in the park... then it's YOUR responsibility to install a suitable fence, or tell your son to show some respect. It's not your neighbours responsibility to parent your child or protect themselves from his shitty behaviour.
I can see where he gets it from though.

I mean you could all give advice to the op? Please note I’ve not been aggressive to anyone. I’ve just disagreed with you. Because I think you’re wrong. (Apart from the one poster I called a CF)