Balls constantly coming into my garden and damaging plants -AIBU?

[ScaleInsectGoo]

I know I'll probably be called a joy killing unreasonable cow but here goes.

We have smallish gardens on my street - approx 8m wide and 10m long. I like gardening and I like to grow plants for food and fun.

My neighbour has two sons now aged 13 and 17. They kick various shaped balls against the back wall of their house daily, really really hard, so that balls come over into my garden (rebounding off the wall) several times a day. They are going fast and when they hit plants they do damage. The boundary is a 6 ft fence and shrubs on their side that grow up to about 10-12 ft.

This has been a regular summer occurrence for years and while the kids were younger I recognised that they couldn't do it elsewhere and also they didn't kick as hard so it was less often and less hard.
But AIBU to think that now they are old enough to go to the local park independently where there is loads of space and football nets and they can kick as hard as they like without causing damage to anyone's garden, they should do that instead?
Also AIBU to think that they're old enough to understand that in their garden they need to kick less hard since the balls are coming over so often?

I'm not someone who expects to not know they're near other people. I live in a small property with the neighbours around and I expect and accept noise, barbecues, trampolines etc etc. I just don't want my garden to be damaged by someone else's careless use of their own. AIBU?

I have a ball that's been in my garden for about a week. I told the kids next door, and their parents, last year that if they want a ball back they need to come and ask for it and I will be sticking to that. I'd like an apology but I think I'll be a long time hoping.

I made a comment last year about balls landing on my plants and neighbour actually said I shouldn't worry if a ball was damaged. She seemed mildly surprised that I was more concerned about my roses then her kid's plastic football.

So he DOES kick his ball into their garden..

My neighbours are not late 80s. They have bbqs. My old neighbours had a yappy dog. The people a few doors down have loud parties. Someone else’s cat dumped a dead mouse outside my doors to the garden. The other neighbours have an overgrown garden. I could go on forever!

If you were my next door neighbour and I was getting 3 balls a day coming over into my garden, I'd happily come to your funeral.
Wouldn't give a shit if the balls were kept in yours.

@ScaleInsectGoo YANBU they're 13 &17?!?! Id have been around there several years ago, as soon as they were old enough to 'boot' the ball around (not just small kids kicking) and old enough to go to the park.

Get the ignorant parents told!

Then why did you comment, that's not the point of this thread. OPs neighbours are wrecking her garden with balls flying in. If you want to complain about your neighbours do your own thread

Your right to enjoy your garden - fine.

Your right to be a CF and not think there's an issue with your son kicking his ball repeatedly into someone else's garden - not fine.

Why do you think your right to do whatever the fuck you or your son want trumps other people's right to enjoy their garden ?

Definitely do this, when they come around to ask for them hard a word asking them to go easy as it's wrecking your garden. If they keep doing it refuse the balls back although I understand this might be too far for you as you don't want any conflict

No he’s kicking it from the rebound net into his goal. So if anything I blame the rebound net. No I won’t be getting rid of it.

I’m just trying to give the op a different side. I’m not denying anything. It’s just the joys of living in a house which is not detached. Same as if you lived in flats.

What about a trellis or a higher fence would that help? Obviously I can't see your garden. Failing that a massive net so it bounces back lol. Must be annoying, kids play and it happens but if it's constant I get it.

If he's not kicking it in, then how is the ball getting into the garden? Can't he kick it about at ground level, not up in the air? Send him to the park maybe.

The parents might not know how often it is happening if you've always just thrown the balls back into the garden? How low is the fence? My son is always kicking a ball around in the garden but it doesn't go into the neighbours garden, but we do have a high fence. Having said that, one it his crocs flew off his foot this morning and landed in the neighbours garden 🙈
Thankfully he wasn't sunbathing at the time!

I don't think you would be unreasonable to ask them to be mindful when kicking the ball, they aren't really young , they are old enough to know how to control the ball abit more.

3 balls a day?? He’s only got 2!!

Oh so he's not deliberately kicking the ball over the fence. That's obviously completely OK then.....🙄

To be fair to my neighbours, there is a high fence (mine) and much higher shrubs (theirs). I know that they have let the shrubs grow up so much in order to try to stop balls coming over (because they told me so some years ago) but even 12ft shrubs aren't cutting it with strong full on booting teens. There's really no more protection that could be added.

I feel for you OP. My mother had a similar problem, but with younger tweens. STOP throwing the balls back! That is all that worked for her. What does waiting a few days to throw them back achieve? Absolutely nothing, because they have continued! They won't change until they run out of balls and either buy more, or come to your door.

It sounds like you have social anxiety. If confronting the parents is too stressful, then just stop throwing them back! IF they ever do come to your door and IF you can't explain the issue, say you weren't sure which garden they had come from. I would absolutely NOT be giving them ALL back though, as some may have burst when they landed in your garden, hit you in the head, smashed your plants or possibly gone into another neighbours garden! 😉

I expect that the neighbours (parents) probably aren't aware, so I will keep the balls that come over (I have 4 from today and yesterday) and when/if they come to ask I will explain the issue.

A child of about 10 or older should take themselves to the local park. Much more space for them to play too.

I do have social anxiety unfortunately.

I would speak to their parents and never give them back without them having to come and ask you for them.
If they continually damage your plants then it’s antisocial behaviour. Keep a log of instances and damage caused.

Our neighbours kids kicked a few balls and other objects into our garden one year. I never returned them, they never asked for them back. They've never kicked anything over since then.

Keep them out of sight. I ignored balls and it got to five of them in the garden in a day, full size adult footballs. The brats then jumped my fence into my vegetable beds.

No he can’t kick at ground level 😂 I’m not sending him to the park by himself. I wouldn’t let him and his mates go in the garden if that helps!

Total rewrite because I misread the post.

If your son is kicking a ball which ends up in the neighbour’s garden…your son has kicked a ball into their garden. it is your job as a parent to teach your son to be careful when he is playing that he doesn’t disturb the neighbours.

And your neighbour’s enjoyment of their garden does trump your antisocial behaviour.

You are unlikely to realise this because you blame your neighbours for not having the right sort of fence. Seriously next level cheeky fuckery 🤣

Ah I see not good then. Might be best to have a chat with the neighbours see if they can maybe move the football net elsewhere. I get what you mean re confrontation but one day you might see red so try nip it in the bud, hopefully your neighbours will understand esp if they've tried already with the shrubs. Sounds like they need a bigger garden or a field bending it lke Beckham