Balls constantly coming into my garden and damaging plants -AIBU?

[ScaleInsectGoo]

I know I'll probably be called a joy killing unreasonable cow but here goes.

We have smallish gardens on my street - approx 8m wide and 10m long. I like gardening and I like to grow plants for food and fun.

My neighbour has two sons now aged 13 and 17. They kick various shaped balls against the back wall of their house daily, really really hard, so that balls come over into my garden (rebounding off the wall) several times a day. They are going fast and when they hit plants they do damage. The boundary is a 6 ft fence and shrubs on their side that grow up to about 10-12 ft.

This has been a regular summer occurrence for years and while the kids were younger I recognised that they couldn't do it elsewhere and also they didn't kick as hard so it was less often and less hard.
But AIBU to think that now they are old enough to go to the local park independently where there is loads of space and football nets and they can kick as hard as they like without causing damage to anyone's garden, they should do that instead?
Also AIBU to think that they're old enough to understand that in their garden they need to kick less hard since the balls are coming over so often?

I'm not someone who expects to not know they're near other people. I live in a small property with the neighbours around and I expect and accept noise, barbecues, trampolines etc etc. I just don't want my garden to be damaged by someone else's careless use of their own. AIBU?

I have a firm policy of not retuning balls. Not even once.

They soon learn to kick in the opposite direction.

My garden and privacy are very important to me. The sooner they learn to respect that, the better off we all are.

i feel your pain.i have 3 surrounding neighbours all with football mad kids, we have a local football pitch and park 3 minutes from our houses,they are not toddlers so could walk their, they prefer to bounce none stop on the pavements/paving stones near us,.up to recently they were kicking the ball at my long side wall of my garage its at the back of my house with a drive ,they damaged the top bits of plastic on my garage, i was told i was not very neighbourly saying they had to stop using my garage side wall to boot their football for hours, the noise alone drove me mad,i saw red when their mum said i was not being neighbourly letting them boot the ball against my garage wall, keep the balls till they ask for them back,get photios of the damaged plants, say the football is nearly hitting you in your garden,good luck

I use to throw them back, only to get them
again after 5 minutes! Big heavy leather ones too. No thought for me, my dogs, or my property. I’ve asked them
nicely several times over the years.
2 boys old enough to go to the park now, so they’re not getting them back any more.

My garden is not their overflow facility so I’m not remotely sorry either.

@TemuSpecialBuy What an overreaction calling them that. They’re just kids playing. I’m sure they don’t intend on causing damage. Please take a deep breath, read your response and get some perspective on how insignificant this is. They are not terrorising anyone or hurting anyone. So many people moan about young people hanging around vaping and causing problems or moaning about how much screen time they have on their Xbox etc… two kids play in their own garden and this is the response.

To all of you being so negative, they are just kids. Be bloody nice and remember how it was being a kid. Don’t be that mean neighbour. They will soon grow up and be gone! Or maybe consider moving somewhere more remote with less humans to annoy you!

OP please don’t damage their balls. Just calmly speak with the parents. I am sure it can be resolved in a mature and intelligent fashion. Good luck.

@DinnaeFashYersel You can’t just go around warning other people’s children. It’s not 1984.

What. A. Dick.

There’s a very interesting thread on here today about childrens’ social development, and why kids are what what they are today (feral). I suggest you find it, read it, and learn a thing or two about how to bring up children/parenting. Some good advice on there which you may find enlightening and helpful 🙂……..

If it were happening several times a day, I'd stockpile, then a few days later, when they had their washing out, rub them in mud and chuck them back at the washing.

A one off is fine, but repeatedly, no chance.

I might be projecting there😄

lol, I won't be damaging any balls or trying to annoy them by manner of return. Neighbour relations are important and I want to keep everything civil.

I knew there'd be at least one post saying something along the lines of at least they're not out being hooligans. It's not like there's just two options though is it - kids can either be hooligans out and about or whacking balls at speed into a neighbours garden several times a day? They're good kids, but teens are selfish and inconsiderate generally (I know i was). I expect the kids themselves haven't even thought of how it might affect me and my garden. I am hopeful that once the balls stop returning to them they'll be open to listening and taking on board my pov.

If it was just once in a while I'd keep on just chucking them back, I don't begrudge them playing in their own garden, I just want their balls to stay in their garden most of the time.

Stop returning the bloody balls and just keep them hostage. You could be away on holiday. If they knock say you'll have a look, but still don't return immediately. Be an inconvenience.

I think you can talk to the kids directly too. The eldest is 17 so I suspect might listen more to you than to his Mum. You can be friendly and polite. (To start with!)

At night shove/throw them over another neighbours fence, wither the one that backs on to them or the other side of them if you can throw that far.

They may not have social anxiety and might tell the teenagers to pack it in.

I had neighbours like this, I never returned the ball, they always had to come and get them. And sometimes wait until it was convenient for me.
Anyway, they moved and we have a new family... their kids do play ball in the garden. The ball very rearly comes over the fence these days.

I think it's possible to teach kids some manners around kicking a ball in the garden.

YANBU, and their parents (if they're aware), aren't actually doing right by the teenagers anyway. Yes, you need to be able to live in your own home, but even then you still have to be considerate to the neighbours. For example, not hammering at 4am or shouting the place down when you have sex. This is no different. So that's something they should already know by 15!

I'd have a polite, non confrontational chat. If that doesn't work, just don't throw the balls back, as others have suggested. I'd be tempted if they knock to just say "sorry, they're not in my garden". They can hardly call you out on it, and it's less agro than telling them that no, you're keeping their stuff.

Exactly. They can't prove you have (had)the balls.

"Sorry, they're not here, bye," works wonders. Take my word for it.

Don't positively reinforce bad behaviour.

We put this up to stop balls going into neighbours / currently on sale for under £30

https://www.networldsports.co.uk/football/football-ball-stop-netting/pop-up-stop-that-balltm-ball-stop-post-system.html

This kept happening to me even though I don't have plants and did not mind kids kicking their ball about but is an area 2 mins away for them to kick ball and they kick it sooo hard and my dog does be in my tiny garden space, theirs is larger so I did shout over nicely and said please your ball just hit my dog which it did. Say the ball just hit you and it hurt your arm can they please kick ball easier. I will kick balls back or if they call will go and look but usually they have kicked it few gardens over. I don't want to be that parent that is horrible but some parents do not teach their kids basic manners and have the attitude oh it is my garden we can shout and scream as much as we like. A bit of respect on both sides. Everyone should be able to enjoy their own garden. I know how hard it is and I find it very hard with conflict also but must be sooo annoying seeing you have created a lovely garden. Maybe parents don't want them to go park alone as not safe in a lot of areas now but surely someone who can take them for a good kick about.

ManilowBarry that is a great idea.

It's not brilliant if he is unable to keep the ball in your garden. He has no right to disturb others in their gardens.

I have four boys. Boys are banned in my garden for this very reason, they were kicking a ball over to the neighbours at least once a day in the summer, and although my neighbours haven't said anything, and they always throw the balls back, I would be pissed off if it were me, so I have told them balls need to be played at the park only.

Ive told my neighbour that if a ball goes over the fence more than once a month said ball should be considered a gift for his dog.

Ds lost 1 ball and has not hoofed one over since.