Balls constantly coming into my garden and damaging plants -AIBU?

[ScaleInsectGoo]

I know I'll probably be called a joy killing unreasonable cow but here goes.

We have smallish gardens on my street - approx 8m wide and 10m long. I like gardening and I like to grow plants for food and fun.

My neighbour has two sons now aged 13 and 17. They kick various shaped balls against the back wall of their house daily, really really hard, so that balls come over into my garden (rebounding off the wall) several times a day. They are going fast and when they hit plants they do damage. The boundary is a 6 ft fence and shrubs on their side that grow up to about 10-12 ft.

This has been a regular summer occurrence for years and while the kids were younger I recognised that they couldn't do it elsewhere and also they didn't kick as hard so it was less often and less hard.
But AIBU to think that now they are old enough to go to the local park independently where there is loads of space and football nets and they can kick as hard as they like without causing damage to anyone's garden, they should do that instead?
Also AIBU to think that they're old enough to understand that in their garden they need to kick less hard since the balls are coming over so often?

I'm not someone who expects to not know they're near other people. I live in a small property with the neighbours around and I expect and accept noise, barbecues, trampolines etc etc. I just don't want my garden to be damaged by someone else's careless use of their own. AIBU?

He's not very good then if he can't dribble a football.

At 13 and 17 I'd speak to them directly and expect them to go to the local park.

Given them a warning and let them know you are going to confiscate the balls if they don't cut it out. They

Even at age 17?

That's phenomenally anti-social.

YANBU. We have the same problem, constant thudding against the fence ( totally destroyed it) plants & ornaments broken and doorbell ringing constantly asking for the ball back . If we don’t answer they knock on windows or shout us at the top of their lungs. It used to be toys of all types coming over (as well as the balls ) but that stopped when we complained to the parents . We’ve tried reasoning with the kids, but to no avail so now we keep the balls until they ask for them (& it’s convenient for us to return).A few have been accidentally punctured by the dog (“good girl” ). We are at our wits end . It’s ruining our enjoyment of our garden . Hopefully you find the parents more caring than our neighbours!

If he was dribbling it wouldn’t be an issue. He’s doing mid air shots 🙄 It’s a new low when your comeback is to diss a 12 year olds football skills 😂 I’ll tell him in a bit. Little sods in the garden at the minute.

You appear to have this the wrong way round. (Unless, perchance, you're a troll.) Your fence isn't high enough to stop it encroaching on someone's else's property.

It's not your neighbour's job to erect a steel compound round their garden. It's your job to teach your children manners. If you can't, then you need to erect a taller fence. If a taller fence isn't an option, then teach your children to control their football.

I'm convinced you're trolling. No one could be this selfish, surely.

I'd be losing those balls, after I punctured them. There is good neighbour support (eg max 2 per day) but if the parents don't care then why should you?

There is no other side. We all know kids like to kick footballs about. OP has been more than tolerant over a number of years.

Her neighbours need to show some consideration. As do you. If you were my neighbour showing me this level of disrespect, I’d be putting a knife through the balls. I imagine you’d start setting a few more rules if you had to buy a new ball every time one went over the fence.

It's very sad, but if you have to use metal stakes to support your plants, it's often possible for balls to become impaled on them.

You can take that any way you like.

Had the same problem.

Didn't object when the children were small but as teens the force they kicked the ball with and the damage they were doing to the fence got ridiculous.

In the end I just collected all the balls and refused to hand them back until one of the parents (not the children) came to collect them.

As they were behind me it was a 10 min round trip and sometimes I would not be available.....

I also said I'd sell the balls I'd collected at one point to pay for the glasses and (very decent) bottle of wine that was destroyed by one spectacular lob over the fence than crashed onto our table (10m away from the boundary).

Upshot was making it the parents problem to collect the balls sorted it out.

You said he couldn't kick at ground level. Maybe he could work on that? There's lots he could practise that won't result in balls over fences. 12, and not even allowed to go to the park!?

God love them having to tolerate such hideous neighbours. Balls striking fences is an awful noise and so very anti social in itself. But this is about proper being damaged by balls coming over. Would you take responsibility for that?

Had a problem with balls coming over from next door. Not the grandchildren - the adult dad and uncle...

Twice, one of the adults climbed over my back gate. First time, my late husband gave the dad a mouthful. (He actually thought a strange man was breaking in - DH had macular degeneration and a cataract.)

The bloke actually had the nerve to bang on the front door after that and complain because my visibly disabled husband had sworn at him in the hearing of his children: "You might have been a hard man at one time, but you're not now!" [As DH said to me "When was I ever a hard man?']

"So, I just asked him what he was working at these days and he said 'What's that got to do with anything?' and left!"

The next time, it was the uncle who climbed over. I saw him - didn't recognise him - and yelled at him to eff off. (I'm just short-sighted without my specs.) I startled him. He tried to steady himself by grabbing onto the hawthorn bush next to the gate. What he didn't know was that said bush had died. It cracked under his weight, he went right over and did a beautiful face plant inside my garden.

Reader, on both occasions, the garden gate was unlocked. They hadn't even had the sense to try it. (I've since padlocked it.)

I don’t think anyone enjoys ground level unless they are playing on a pitch. My garden isn’t pitch sized! It’s brilliant for kicks mid air though!!

He can go to the park if he wants? You’ve misread my comment.

See this is the problem. We actually have younger children the same age and help each other with afterschool stuff. They hate the football and I hate bbqs. I do look after their fish when they go on holiday.

If he destroyed something of theirs with a football I would replace it. If he annoyed them I’d not worry too much.

So you are one of those cf nightmare neighbours really.

They are far too old to be playing like that in the garden.

I'd woman up and go and talk to them/the parents.

The wee lad next door is always kicking his ball into our garden. I tell him to nip round and grab it himself but he's too scared to encounter my chihuahua! It doesn't bother me in the slightest but I don't give a shit about my plants in the grand scheme of things.

Imve (vast experience!) let the balls down before handing them back. They will get pissed off having to pump them up. And either stop playing or be more careful where they land...

I throw them back but I throw them back with a good amount of force and usually aimed at their patio doors/furniture/BBQ/washing. Basically anything as they don't care where it lands/who it lands on when it comes flying over my side. Rugby balls as well so they're kicked a lot higher and come down with more force.

I grow plants from seed. By the time they are planted in my garden, some have had several years of close attention. So several years of my time and energy. You would replace that how?

You said: "I’m not sending him to the park by himself."

Ergo, he's not allowed to go to the park independently.

The posts of one of the posters here read like AI trying to hold a conversation.

If it's AI, that would explain a lot.