To challenge a person's parenting at the park

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed.

TLDR is that I confronted a man for not supervising his young toddler at the work and my husband thinks I should have minded my own business.

Last week I was at the park with my kids. While there I noticed a small child, maybe around 2 or a little younger, completely unsupervised. I saw him close to the edge of play equipment high up several times, and assisted him down/warned him to be careful. This happened several times. Some of the drops were pretty significant. He also requested my help to climb up ladders etc. I felt a little uncomfortable as I was obviously a complete stranger to this child but I did so.

I was able to follow him around a bit as I was a little worried. My kids and their cousin are 7, 7 and 4 so I felt ok to let them run around while I followed this child with my 9 mth old in a pushchair. It just seemed unsafe to leave him.

For context, the park has a very dense play structure and you can't see through it to the other side very easily. There are also three areas designated by recommended age. This child was in the 'big kid's' area. There is only one entrance/exit to the park so I sometimes feel comfortable sitting there with my baby as I know I will see my boys if they try to leave the park. But definitely not when they were small toddlers. A large part of the big kid's area is not visible from the entrance.

Anyway, I eventually figured out this boy had an older sister (maybe 5). I saw her bang her head and be comforted by another family. Again, no parent in sight. Then I started to get really concerned.

After about 20 minutes of this I was ready to leave but I felt it was unsafe to leave this boy unattended. I asked the boy where his parents were, but he was too young to understand what I was asking. So I started looking around for someone who was the guardian of this child.

I went to the entrance of the park and saw a man sitting on his phone watching some kind of sporting event on his phone (I could hear it). He was completely engrossed. He was the only adult there not obviously supervising a child. As I debated whether to approach him, the little boy ran full speed out of the park and headed towards the car park, right past the man. I waited for him to jump up, but he didn't for a few seconds so I thought, oh he must not be the dad, I should go and make sure the boy doesn't leave the park.

At that moment the man got up slowly, stretched and casually hops over the bench. He slowly makes his way over to the toddler.

I decided to say something. I said 'excuse me, your little boy was playing in the big kid's area and nearly fell several times. You should really watch him more closely'.

He looked sheepish and gestures to his son, 'This one?'

I quickly gathered my kids and left, shaking a bit as I don't like confrontation. As I did this I noticed him following behind his child very closely.

My husband thinks I may have overstepped.

Yes, I had a similar experience to a poster I had quoted. In these threads you often see age being brought up, but a four year old can easily need to be more closely supervised than a two year old, depending on the child.

I think what you did was fine. He might bot even have been the dad, xould have been an uncle or a dad not used to taking his kids to the park. The fact he didnt retaliate suggests he ultimately agreed with you.

No way you were in the wrong! I’d be glad if I was that child’s other parent thar someone pulled him up on it. I’d have taken it a step further and asked around as soon as the child started approaching me for help and if no parent made themselves obvious I’d call the police to report an unsupervised child. I’d hope someone would do the same if anyone I trusted to look after my son left him unattended like that. My son will never be out of arms reach at a park until he’s old enough to speak for himself and knows stranger danger, at that age they would do anything for anyone who offered them something nice!

You did not over step the mark, he needed telling, well done for making him aware. He can't just take his kids to the park and not watch them, especially that young. I am sure the mum wouldn't be impressed if she knew that had happened, I know I wouldn't, but my husband is healthy and safety in our house so would never do this 🤣

For ten years, I have been a daily swimmer (usually 2 to 3 hours). I see lots of parents and carers (often 65%-75%) at the pool whose mobile phones come out as soon as their kids enter the water of the 0.75m deep [2.5 feet] or the 1.4m deep [4.6 feet] pools.

In this decade, I have intervened to rescue around 25 children under 7yo from under the water or in severe difficulty reaching the pools' edges.

On top of this, I have called out to other parents or (alleged) carers that NO-ONE from the family is minding their kids' safety and that the child/ren are struggling.

As well, thre are many so-called adults who place Facebook, Instagram, action sports or gambling ahead of their childrens' "milestones" of swimming success at the pool ... people too disengaged to seemingly care.

So, thank you OP, for being "in loco parentis" when no-one else who should care is doing so. You are right to voice your concerns on the first occasion and be snarly towards the failing parent/carer on subsequent occasions.

We are, after all, part of the so-called 'village' that helps raise all children to a better standard than previous generations.

I am particularly water cautious because I had a close friend who sadly lost their child by drowning. But I am always so so shocked at how little regard parents seem to have for their children’s safety at the pool. I have seen children effectively unsupervised. I’ve also seen swim instructors turn their back and engage in conversations when they’re supposed to be teaching - so I won’t even leave my child with a swim instructor I don’t know well (sometimes I’ll have to leave to take the littlest to the toilet etc but I try to avoid it).

i went on holiday recently and had eyes on my children at all times. My kids are also told they are not to enter the pool without an adult, no exception. My child make friends with a family who’s 5 and 8 year old were swimming unsupervised! Their parents were lying on a sunbed not even in view - there wasn’t even a lifeguard. I spent all week chuntering about that.

Anyway, sorry for the rant it’s just nice to see someone on the same page!

Parents are interested more in their phones now, sadly 🤷🏼‍♀️