To challenge a person's parenting at the park

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed.

TLDR is that I confronted a man for not supervising his young toddler at the work and my husband thinks I should have minded my own business.

Last week I was at the park with my kids. While there I noticed a small child, maybe around 2 or a little younger, completely unsupervised. I saw him close to the edge of play equipment high up several times, and assisted him down/warned him to be careful. This happened several times. Some of the drops were pretty significant. He also requested my help to climb up ladders etc. I felt a little uncomfortable as I was obviously a complete stranger to this child but I did so.

I was able to follow him around a bit as I was a little worried. My kids and their cousin are 7, 7 and 4 so I felt ok to let them run around while I followed this child with my 9 mth old in a pushchair. It just seemed unsafe to leave him.

For context, the park has a very dense play structure and you can't see through it to the other side very easily. There are also three areas designated by recommended age. This child was in the 'big kid's' area. There is only one entrance/exit to the park so I sometimes feel comfortable sitting there with my baby as I know I will see my boys if they try to leave the park. But definitely not when they were small toddlers. A large part of the big kid's area is not visible from the entrance.

Anyway, I eventually figured out this boy had an older sister (maybe 5). I saw her bang her head and be comforted by another family. Again, no parent in sight. Then I started to get really concerned.

After about 20 minutes of this I was ready to leave but I felt it was unsafe to leave this boy unattended. I asked the boy where his parents were, but he was too young to understand what I was asking. So I started looking around for someone who was the guardian of this child.

I went to the entrance of the park and saw a man sitting on his phone watching some kind of sporting event on his phone (I could hear it). He was completely engrossed. He was the only adult there not obviously supervising a child. As I debated whether to approach him, the little boy ran full speed out of the park and headed towards the car park, right past the man. I waited for him to jump up, but he didn't for a few seconds so I thought, oh he must not be the dad, I should go and make sure the boy doesn't leave the park.

At that moment the man got up slowly, stretched and casually hops over the bench. He slowly makes his way over to the toddler.

I decided to say something. I said 'excuse me, your little boy was playing in the big kid's area and nearly fell several times. You should really watch him more closely'.

He looked sheepish and gestures to his son, 'This one?'

I quickly gathered my kids and left, shaking a bit as I don't like confrontation. As I did this I noticed him following behind his child very closely.

My husband thinks I may have overstepped.

You did right. GP were sat in the car with a flask 'supervising' my nephew at a park. He fell off a rope swing and broke both his wrists.

Not just the high drops but, I think if it gets to the point that you haven’t noticed another adult following your two year old around you’re not paying anywhere near enough attention to them.

You were fine OP.
He was being a lazy parent.

I'd have probably done exactly the same op, though I'm not sure I'd have been quite so polite about it! I see too many of these situations where parents sit blissfully unaware that strangers are babysitting their children.

I also wouldn't feel too bad about helping him up ladders. It's the man who is in the wrong by leaving you babysitting his child, not you. It's natural for a loving, engaged parent to want to help a child. You won't do it again, but no harm was done.

You need to start your own thread in a suitable topic to get the most helpful advice.

You did the right thing, a low-key, reasonable comment to dad. Dad's response was low-key, and not kicking off at your "interfering", and shaped up a bit.

A non-event, really. You did the right thing.

Totally fine and needed to be said. The embarrassment of an adult is insignificant to a little toddler seriously hurting themselves!

You we're very polite and he did need to be aware, my two year old went off the wrong side of the play structure last week, I was on the side with the slide and he decided to attempt to slide down the climbing wall he both managed to hold on and be caught by another mum honestly so thankful for he being right their! I couldn't imagine not having my eyes on him at the park because he is a daredevil and they are high! Two year olds need watching constantly and if he didn't realise that without being told then he might do now!

You absolutely did the right thing @HuckleberryBlackcurrant! It amazes me the number of times I see really young children unsupervised. We live in a seaside town and I was walking along the prom one day when I noticed a very young child (just under 2 at a guess) walking along about 1m out into the water with clearly sunburnt shoulders and back 😔 there were no obvious adults so I went over and got him to come back into the sand and asked him if he could tell me where his mummy/daddy etc were - he started giggling and toddled off down the beach so I followed to ensure he found an adult and found his mum & dad sitting eating a picnic about 150m down the beach 😔 The mum immediately questioned why he had no clothes on - they were sitting behind her on the sand and he was just in a nappy. And asked where I had found him because they thought that he was playing right behind them. I have no idea how long he’d been unsupervised but he was already clearly sunburned so it had been a while!

I think I would have probably been lot sharper with the dad so you did well to stay polite

I'd of done the same and have done
I can remember supervising my 5 yr old at a park which was attached to a cricket ground.
A group of about 15 kids of the same age came to the park after a party in the cricket ground,, all unsupervised.

I had to help several of them get down from the monkey bars and climbing frames. I was incredibly worried as there were no adults.
After 20 mins or so 1 adult from the party turned up and i said "Someone should be looking after these kids as ive had to help a few of them" she just replied " Only one is mine". I then left the park and the lazy parents were just outside the entrance talking.

The irresponsible behaviour of some parents of young children never ceases to astonish me. And when called out on it, act all offended. Your children are a precious gift. Look after them.ffs!!

I'd have done exactly the same OP. And my DH would also have told me I shouldn't have. But I'm not someone who can sit back and watch disasters unfold without stepping in to help. DH is that kind of person and thinks I'm too inclined to stick my nose where I shouldn't but maybe that's why we make a good team!

When I saw your thread title I thought you were probably going to be unreasonable but on reading that, I absolutely agree with you.

I think you were totally in the wrong helping a toddler get on equipment. The basic rule is if you cab get on you can play on it. Personally your behaviour sounds busy body ish to me. We've only got your side of it. For all we know the man might have had an eye on him at all times. If he was on his phone all the time then OP only knows this as she was watching him constantly 🤷‍♀️

You don't watch a toddler from a distance ....that's utterly pointless.

I was ready to say you overstepped because kids need to learn independent play but no, I would've done the same. You didn't kick off or have a go, you said a sentence that was true and relevant and he clearly deep down knew you were right or he probably would have argued back a bit.

I hate going to parks for this reason, always end up with a follower as wouldn't dream of leaving my young kids alone in a park. You were right to say something, but I doubt it will stop him doing it again!

You were 100% right to do what you did. The child's father sounds like an absolutely shit parent. And your DH is wrong.

apart from the physical danger, sounds like that child could have been easily lured away.
always speak up in the cause of safety, esp re vulnerable people.
well done, OP.

@NoKnit

He couldn't have seen him from where he was sitting. It was physically impossible. Also I never said he was on his phone the whole time. I said that when I saw him sitting on the benches he was on his phone.

K shows where I spotted the child. D shows where Dad was sitting. Play structure is dense and you can't see through it.

@Inyourwildestdreams

That's so sad and scary

I think you did the right thing. Not sure why anyone would think that you overstepped while your only concern was the safety of a child left in potential danger. Well done I would say!!