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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

office wear

245 replies

Flute56 · 15/05/2024 22:41

I work in an office and the majority of the peole wear casual and by that I mean jeans and t shirts and trainers. I always dress smart for work. Some who have tatoos wear short sleeves and show huge tattoos down each arm. I do not think that is appropriate for the office. I really wish i worked for a company who has a strict dress code wehre the women have to wear smart trousers and jackets and dresses and skirts and the men have to wear shirts and trousers and maybe a suit. I could not go to work looking sloppy even if there is no dress code

OP posts:
DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 19:35

@Beezknees yes of course, it’s not really an issue, just an opinion on office wear (which is the topic discussion). People can obviously wear what they like. I just agree that a lot of clothes are too casual for offices. When I see people in floral tiered maxi dresses I think “strange choice “. When others see me in my trousers and shirt they might think, “boring bitch”! Its all a matter of taste! I prefer a more formal look in the office.

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 19:37

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 19:35

@Beezknees yes of course, it’s not really an issue, just an opinion on office wear (which is the topic discussion). People can obviously wear what they like. I just agree that a lot of clothes are too casual for offices. When I see people in floral tiered maxi dresses I think “strange choice “. When others see me in my trousers and shirt they might think, “boring bitch”! Its all a matter of taste! I prefer a more formal look in the office.

But you're sick of women wearing these dresses!

Give your head a wobble!

JFC.

Of all the judgemental and embarrassing comments.

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 19:39

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 19:35

@Beezknees yes of course, it’s not really an issue, just an opinion on office wear (which is the topic discussion). People can obviously wear what they like. I just agree that a lot of clothes are too casual for offices. When I see people in floral tiered maxi dresses I think “strange choice “. When others see me in my trousers and shirt they might think, “boring bitch”! Its all a matter of taste! I prefer a more formal look in the office.

They think k a lot more than boring bitch! Rightly so!

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 19:50

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 19:37

But you're sick of women wearing these dresses!

Give your head a wobble!

JFC.

Of all the judgemental and embarrassing comments.

Okay I take back the sick of. I just don’t think they make good office wear.

HandsDown84 · 17/05/2024 19:51

I have never aimed, and will never aim, to look "smart" and I certainly have no desire to emulate the style of someone like Rishi Sunak or a royal on an official engagement who needs to dress in a way that won't offend the readership of the Daily Mail.

Edit - I also, and I feel many would support me in this, look like absolute shite in a "blouse" or buttoned shirt with a short waist and a 32FF chest. Why is so much "smart" wear basically "dressed like a man"?

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 19:52

@DrearyTeaTowel take back your judgement of how fully functioning women choose to dress because you don't like it.

No one gives a flying fuck if you like it, your thoughts and views are so insignificant it's not true.

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 19:53

HandsDown84 · 17/05/2024 19:51

I have never aimed, and will never aim, to look "smart" and I certainly have no desire to emulate the style of someone like Rishi Sunak or a royal on an official engagement who needs to dress in a way that won't offend the readership of the Daily Mail.

Edit - I also, and I feel many would support me in this, look like absolute shite in a "blouse" or buttoned shirt with a short waist and a 32FF chest. Why is so much "smart" wear basically "dressed like a man"?

Edited

Brilliant!

I'll assume @DrearyTeaTowel (fitting username) is a Daily Fail reader as well!

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 20:03

@bloodyplumbing yes I do like to look at the showbiz section online but don’t buy the paper? Does that count? Am one step from being Margaret Thatcher now?

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 20:05

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 20:03

@bloodyplumbing yes I do like to look at the showbiz section online but don’t buy the paper? Does that count? Am one step from being Margaret Thatcher now?

Honestly your judgement of how other women dress is shocking!

As I said previously, if you look at OPs posts her friends describe her as "odd".

What do you think people say about you? More than boring bitch, because they won't care about what you're wearing, but my god they'll judge your judgemental and nasty nature.

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 20:16

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 20:03

@bloodyplumbing yes I do like to look at the showbiz section online but don’t buy the paper? Does that count? Am one step from being Margaret Thatcher now?

Ah so you're fed with all the algorithms because of that.... enough said.

KreedKafer · 17/05/2024 21:31

Flute56 · 17/05/2024 17:33

I also own a black velvet dress which I wore to a funeral recently again, with pearls

So what? I also own a black velvet dress. I wear it with a biker jacket and leopard print creepers. If I wore it to a funeral I’d wear it with patent Mary Janes.

What you don’t seem to understand is that nobody minds what YOU want to wear. You can wear blazers and pearls if you like, because that is YOUR style that makes YOU feel YOUR best. If you feel confident and happy in the things you wear, great. But why can’t you understand that other people have THEIR style that makes THEM feel confident and happy?

The issue isn’t your dress sense, it’s the fact you think everyone else should dress like you and that you are incredibly rude and judgemental about them if they don’t. Your comments about your colleagues are really unpleasant and sneery.

In your other threads, you talk about having a bad childhood, poor self esteem and your difficulties forming personal relationships. It’s pretty obvious that you’re trying to over-compensate for your problems by trying to assume a sense of superiority over others, and that (for some reason) your clothes symbolise that in your head.

Honestly, I think the root of this fixation is that you need to have a lot of rigid control in your life to feel safe, and that for you, clothes are part of that. So you feel jealous and resentful of your colleagues because they don’t need to overdress to feel confident and capable, and have a sense of ease (with themselves and around others) that you envy. So instead of facing up to that and confronting your own issues, you try to convince yourself that your clothes make you better than them and project all your insecurities on to others.

I’m sorry you have these issues but imposing them on to others like this is not going to help you.

KreedKafer · 17/05/2024 21:33

DrearyTeaTowel · 17/05/2024 19:50

Okay I take back the sick of. I just don’t think they make good office wear.

Don’t wear them then.

Flute56 · 18/05/2024 01:26

Here is a question. How many women who own leather shoes polish them regularly? I went through a phase of polishing my leather shoes but stopped as it was too much bother. I dont think anyone really looks at shoes closely to tell

OP posts:
bloodyplumbing · 18/05/2024 06:04

Flute56 · 18/05/2024 01:26

Here is a question. How many women who own leather shoes polish them regularly? I went through a phase of polishing my leather shoes but stopped as it was too much bother. I dont think anyone really looks at shoes closely to tell

I don't even iron my clothes let alone polish shoes.

PotatoPudding · 18/05/2024 07:41

Flute56 · 18/05/2024 01:26

Here is a question. How many women who own leather shoes polish them regularly? I went through a phase of polishing my leather shoes but stopped as it was too much bother. I dont think anyone really looks at shoes closely to tell

Of course it’s noticeable when someone doesn’t take care of their shoes. Polishing leather shoes isn’t just about appearance; it makes them last a lifetime.

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 18/05/2024 07:48

Flute56 · 18/05/2024 01:26

Here is a question. How many women who own leather shoes polish them regularly? I went through a phase of polishing my leather shoes but stopped as it was too much bother. I dont think anyone really looks at shoes closely to tell

I look at shoes, I think you can tell a lot about someone by their shoes.

I don't own any leather shoes that need polishing but when I did I used to polish them.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 18/05/2024 08:16

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 18/05/2024 07:48

I look at shoes, I think you can tell a lot about someone by their shoes.

I don't own any leather shoes that need polishing but when I did I used to polish them.

I see women in high heels at work, wonder if their feet hurt & remember one of the first aiders telling me that he was most often called out to treat injuries from women walking in high heels on stairs & tripping up.

Pipsquiggle · 18/05/2024 08:29

EmpressaurusOfCats · 18/05/2024 08:16

I see women in high heels at work, wonder if their feet hurt & remember one of the first aiders telling me that he was most often called out to treat injuries from women walking in high heels on stairs & tripping up.

@EmpressaurusOfCats
Interestingly, since the pandemic, I don't see any women wearing high heels in the office. I see this as a huge step forward (pun intended). I remember in my 20s wearing such uncomfortable heels just because it was 'smarter' - such a load of bollocks

Alltheunreadbooks · 18/05/2024 08:50

Twinkletwinklelil · 16/05/2024 07:46

I understand where you’re coming from but at the same time a flexible dress code is quite nice.

I work in a professional organisation and before Covid we were expected to dress in formal office wear. Now we aren’t. Which is bizarre as the business of what we do hasn’t changed.

I think if you want to dress smart and formally that’s up to you, just as much as someone in jeans with their tattoos on show. We live in a very different world now, we should be judging less but we don’t.

if you wanted to move for a dress code you might find the culture may not be as kind

That happened to our department.

Pre Covid it was a lot smarter than it is now..definitely no blue jeans and trainers had to be very smart.

It's pretty much anything goes now..shorts, jeans, t-shirts with logos. I don't think anyone wears shoes.

The problem I have is that I no longer have any separation between work/casual/ going out wear.

I might go back to the old way, and get myself a work 'uniform'.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 18/05/2024 08:58

Pipsquiggle · 18/05/2024 08:29

@EmpressaurusOfCats
Interestingly, since the pandemic, I don't see any women wearing high heels in the office. I see this as a huge step forward (pun intended). I remember in my 20s wearing such uncomfortable heels just because it was 'smarter' - such a load of bollocks

I’m only in one day a week now but yes - women have become much more likely to wear comfortable shoes, it’s far better!

NotSmallButFunSize · 18/05/2024 09:04

Who honestly cares?! I am not better at my job if I put heels on instead of trainers - I work in mental health and tbh I think it helps me to be more relatable and friendly looking to be in more relaxed clothing, in fact this this the reason we don't have uniform in our team.

Can't imagine actually wanting to sit around all day in stuffy formal clothing - sounds uncomfortable and it's horribly hot in the summer

SamW98 · 18/05/2024 09:05

After decades of wearing heels every day, since Covid I don’t own shoes anymore and my feet feel liberated.

Trainers all the way

Onelifeonly · 18/05/2024 09:09

I work in a school so a lot of bare flesh is not appropriate and tattoos need to be covered but otherwise casual but smart (respectable might be a better word). No suits, jackets or ties for men. Very few women wear skirts or dresses apart from in the summer and nearly everyone wears trainers or trainer type shoes.

I don't wear jeans to work and avoid casual t shirts. Otherwise I like to be comfortable and am very glad the days of wearing skirts, tights and low heels are long gone. Never felt comfortable in that kind of thing but it was expected when I started my career.

CleanShirt · 18/05/2024 09:56

Flute56 · 18/05/2024 01:26

Here is a question. How many women who own leather shoes polish them regularly? I went through a phase of polishing my leather shoes but stopped as it was too much bother. I dont think anyone really looks at shoes closely to tell

What does this have to do with your original post??

lotsofpeoplenametheirswords · 18/05/2024 10:08

Flute56 · 18/05/2024 01:26

Here is a question. How many women who own leather shoes polish them regularly? I went through a phase of polishing my leather shoes but stopped as it was too much bother. I dont think anyone really looks at shoes closely to tell

I see people's shoes. I notice trainers that are mucky and filthy. But, the first thing I notice about a person is their teeth and fingernails. Wouldn't assume bad teeth or fingernails renders someone unable to carry out their work though I just notice 🤷🏻‍♀️