Salt burn makes me worry for poor kids at ‘posh’ unis.

[Pippetypoppity]

Im beginning to think certain Universities have much wealthier students on average and a kid from a poorer background would have a hard time perhaps ? Oliver in Saltburn was almost ostracised. Dc is looking at Exeter and Bath as favs. Not going to have any of the spending money, nice things from home the private school kids there will have I’m guessing. Will they have a hard time and be excluded in any way do you think. Horrible to think that as pretty shy and socially awkward anyway 🥹.

Just to add- worked a bit whilst I was a student; some did and some didn’t it wasn’t really an issue. I don’t recall everyone else not working and me working. I just did some part time bar work here and there. Also worked in Jigsaw for a bit (horrific manager so not long) but that was for the mega discount 😂

Cambridge isn’t the be all and end all. Obviously, go somewhere you’ll feel happy; but also be open to new experiences.

I was first gen working class when I went to an Oxbridge-reject Uni and yeah, there were very posh people there but it opened so many doors and new experiences. One of friend’s parents were proper full-on aristocrats. They had posh accents but were perfectly pleasant and we got on fine.

One of my friend’s dad encouraged me to
join the profession I now have; I’d have never considered it without his encouragement. And yeah, he was posh.

I went to a very posh university and I felt young, unsophisticated and unworldly when I started but I made friends that have lasted a lifetime and I had amazing experiences and had fun with some people from extremely different lifestyles and backgrounds. In freshers week there was a bit of a 'sorting' where people found 'their type' but over time as clubs and interests grew, friendships crossed income and class boundaries.
I also had my horizons broadened and was much much more adventurous during my holidays and as a new graduate than I would have been without that experience.

Could say the same thing about students at University's with a high number of international students (particularly Chinese). They have a much, much higher disposable income.

I went to Oxford and I don’t feel like anything about my experience would have been particularly exclusive, we mainly went for cheap meals out, the college organized a lot of stuff that was really cheap (Formal Hall etc was a fiver if I recall), club nights were cheap etc. BUT I grew up abroad in an upper middle class family so not sure if my idea of cheap is the same. My parents didn’t give me much/any spending money but I worked during the summers. I remember feeling a bit out of place with clothes for clubs/formal hall/bops, but I think that was as much from not being from the UK as anything else. I did not go to a posh college though, everyone gets the same education but I went to a college with a reputation for being really inclusive so might’ve been different if I’d be at Christ Church/Trinity etc. I found it much more expensive when I was doing my masters in London.

Possibly I didn’t pick up on status markers etc as much because I was from abroad though 🤷‍♀️. I had a fab time and made a ton of friends (including DH).

Same, I went to Durham. I just befriended the other kids who went to state schools and 6th forms. Ultimately you all form cliques, via subject, sport or college/halls, same as anywhere!

Thing is, there are plenty of people on MN who don't want their kids going to state secondary because they think they'll be 'eaten alive' to coin a popular phrase on here, so this thread is interesting.

Mate, Saltburn is fiction.

And anyway, one would think that after watching Saltburn, it is the rich that should be worried about hanging out with poor kids.......

In my experience, One Day's opening scenes at Edinburgh are more realistic as to the class divide. Everybody at the same events and friendly enough but not really mixing in terms of deep friendships.

Only in Britain...

I went to a posh uni as a state school kid with a very "not posh" accent. It was in the 1980s and it was fine, I even married a posh lad!!
Having said that there is something weird going on at Durham, I know several of my DCs friends (ranging from all backgrounds) have complained of outrageous snobbery there. Several have quit.

Yes! I was an "Emma" and there was a "Dexter" as my neighbour in college in the first year. We didn't mix at all but would make small talk and (kindly) take the piss out of each other's accents.

YYY to this.

This is the point in life where the world is their oyster. Don't hold them back in any way.

DD is a yr 1 and I went many moons ago to a Uni that was viewed as for private school underachievers - and yes there was alot of Mum and Dad money but was OK in general

Daughter is in London and there are students from London living in the halls - because its all about the experience.....so yes lots of money around but also lots of not and having to work a good deal for the cash to live day to day etc. Also quiet alof if international students who are paying alot for the course and having to pay full whack on accom etc as well so whilst parents must be well off to afford there is a definite appreciation that they are privileged.

I think they all find their people but they do have to make some effort to put themselves out there - been very suprised by daughter who whilst not massively outgoing and a bit of a home body in many ways has put herself out there, made a really nice group of friends from a mix of courses and made it work for herself.

Mn is riddled with lower-middle-class aspirationalism and competitiveness, and a strange set of ideas about the UC, who are either (1) heartless, foul-mouthed, Old Etonian Buller types or (2) His Grace rattling around in his ancient car, dressed like a tramp, chiefly in the hair from his brace of chocolate labs, charming and polite to all, and living humbly in the former servants' quarters of his Palladian mansion.

I was a clever WC child at a notorious secondary known for violence, drinking, teenage pregnancies and rapid staff turnover, and wasn't 'eaten alive' there, just as I wasn't subsequently eaten alive at my traditionally posh and exclusive Oxford college.

I think you missed my point. Entry point = a place where a person can enter something.

In this case, reference to a popular movie in the OP served as an entry point into a wider conversation that goes well beyond the scope of said movie.

I get the impression in the Uk that uni entry is down to grades and personal statement.
I have one child considering Bath and the other considering Exeter and I have never heard of either uni being considered 'posh'.

Whatever your background, university can be the first opportunity to learn about the different 'markers', the unsaid and unwritten behaviours that can help you better understand an individual or a social group, and decide how you want to engage with them.

This is an invaluable thing to learn as you go through life. After university, the opportunities to spend as much time with a more diverse group tend to shrink. Unless you have no desire to meet people with different behaviours / backgrounds to yours, that is!

Not as many as those who seem to think their kids will be “eaten alive” by the poshos.

The vast majority of students at all UK universities come from state schools. The media portray a very skewed image of what private schools are like. In reality they are much more of a mixed bag. A lot of private schools are special school. Very few are like Eton and the ones that are have a high percentage of international pupils who don’t fit the stereotype either.

My son is at a Uni where he’s very much in the minority. The majority of students have been privately educated and are incredibly wealthy. He’s had no problems whatsoever and has a very large friendship group.

Which uni has a majority private school intake? The highest is Durham.

I’ve heard that about Durham — even faculty making fun of local/northern accents. Sounds awful.

You have such innocence about life.

My friend went to Cambridge that year I rejected my place. She left after term 1. Couldn't relate to anyone and treated terribly by several fellow students.

She thrived at UCL the next year.

When she finally felt able to share her experience with me, I knew I'd made the right call.

I mean Saltburn is not a documentary and even if it was it was set over 20 years ago and it was the middle class kid who was the psychopath not the posh ones…. Plus bath and Exeter are not Oxford….