To want to wear my nan's wedding ring?

[Nigellasstickytoffeepudding]

I lost my nana two weeks ago, my grandad has given me her jewellery which includes her wedding ring.

My grandparents marriage lasted 68 years until her death at 90 and i really look up to them as a model of commitment and the meaning of marriage.

I'd like to get the ring cleaned and resized slightly and wear it in place of my (very cheap) wedding ring, in memory of my nan and of commitment to my marriage.

I asked DH just now and he doesn't want me to. He can't really say why other than that my nans ring isn't the one I got married with.

I only mention my existing one was cheap so that it's clear it not because of the cost of my ring that DH said no.

It means a lot to me AIBU?

Why don't you wear your Nan's ring on your right hand.

I agree with your dh's feelings about the ring you got married with being your wedding ring.
I wear my wedding ring (which didn't cost us much at all) on my wedding ring finger, and My lat Nan's ring on the ring finger of my right hand.

He said that, but I don't know I just feel I don't want to wear it on my right 😔

I understand your dh, you want to replace something meaningful in your relationship, for something meaningful in your grandparents relationship.

There are plenty of options you could choose rather than replacing your wedding ring.

I think your husband's feelings are fair. Certainly there's a compromise here. You have nine other fingers (I assume).

I should also have mentioned (sorry, not meaning to drip feed) that HIS ring isn't the one he got married with. He lost his a few years ago and we replaced it.

Well, that is a good alternative and you have no reason for not doing so.

I wear my grandma's ring. I wear my engagement ring on left hand and hers on right. I adore it. It's so special every time I look down.

I think it's really weird of your husband to comment especially given how recent it is.

wear it with your wedding ring?

How about having your nan's ring set with a stone and wearing it as an eternity ring?

Wear any ring you want on any finger.

I wear a ring that belonged to my dm on my ring finger. I can’t explain why but it makes me feel closer to my dm and I haven’t taken it off since she gave it to me just before she died. Dh really doesn’t care a jot, although I wasn’t wearing my wedding or engagement rings in any case as they are too tight. I still have my rings and if I could shrink my fingers I’d try and wear one of my own with it but I wouldn’t remove my dm’s. It’s a really odd thing and I feel silly for feeling like this but I understand op.

That would look terrible. My ring is grey tungsten and hers is yellow gold

I'd be really hurt if I was your dh.
Wear your nans ring in another finger

It isn’t your wedding ring so I’d wear it on your other hand - it will be lovely once it’s resized - it cost me £50

I wear my nan’s wedding ring and my mums (she’s alive but didn’t want it) engagement ring on my wedding finger and my own wedding and engagement ring on my right hand (only because my own engagement ring gave me a rash).
DH has never noticed and wouldn’t even care if I told him.

The difference is that he didn't choose to replace his, but you are. He might feel like you don't value your marriage as much or the commitmentyou made when receivingit from him. I would wear it on another finger or on a chain around my neck and respect my husbands feelings on this one.

Besides, don't you want your children or grandchildren to be sentimental about your wedding ring for the same reason?

He lost his wedding ring???

fgs wear what ring you want. Would be even notice?

Your ring, your finger, your choice! DH doesn't get to decide what jewellery you wear.

I wear my Nan’s ring on my right hand, same reasons as you except my Nan is still here, she’s 93, very frail and has lost a lot of weight so gave me the ring for safekeeping. I did wear it on my ring finger when my own ring went for repair but ultimately that’s for my wedding ring.

In your situation though I think I would wear it wherever you like!

I wear my grandma's wedding ring on my right hand, in a way that makes it more special because no one could mistake it for my wedding ring. I still think of it as my grandma's, not mine. I also think DH would be a bit insulted if I wore it as if it was my wedding ring.

Yes, he would. The rings are very different AND he notices stuff like this which is why I thought I'd ask him how he'd feel.

It's an odd mix of feelings as I wasn't hurt when he lost his ring. I don't believe a ring makes a marriage, yet a feel like this about my nans ring. I don't get it.

Wear them stacked or just wear your nan's. Your husband fucking lost his so he has zero high ground here.

Aw if it were me I'd either it got special occasions, wear it with my wedding ring, or on a different finger, or on a chain around my neck. I'm not surprised your DH feels upset at the thought of you sacking off your wedding ring. Him losing it isn't the same at all, that wasn't on purpose.

I am sorry for your loss.

You and your DH both have legitimate and deeply held feelings about these rings, I would wait until your grief is a little less fresh before making any decisions.

I'm surprised at my own reaction. I don't wear my wedding/engagement rings and my DH never has one so I'm the last one who attaches any sentiment to them but I think there's something that doesn't sit quite right with me about showing your commitment to your own marriage with someone else's wedding ring. I have my late grandmother's rings and I love that I have them but I see them as part of her relationship with my grandfather than my relationship with my husband.

I'm really sorry for your loss