Please tell me the joys you have of living alone

[Lupin61]

I will be living alone soon after an abusive marriage (he was having a long term affair and making me believe I was losing my mind when I became suspicious).
even though I’ll be glad to be free of the gaslighting and cold, distant behaviour I am still feeling very strange about living on my own again. I would really appreciate if some of you who are in the same boat can tell me some of the things you love about it

The absolute peace of it. Never having to consider a man's ego in my decisions.

I get looked at like I have 2 heads when I tell people I’m still with my oh who lives 7 hours away. They always assume we’ve spilt up or something. 19 years and 3 kids together and he’s pretty much always worked offshore. I’m in England and right now he’s living just off Scotland. His rotation changes depending on his job but he’s currently 3 weeks away and 1 week home with me and the kids. We love each other and get on fine but anymore than a week and he’s itching to go and I want him out the house 😂 the kids love it as he sees them far more than he does on the rare times he works at home for a bit (at home he has 1 day off a fortnight and is out before they get up and home after they’re asleep), and we have the benefits of an offshore salary to spoil them rotten. This is very much MY house though and I couldn’t have a man in it full time.
Op have fun turning your home into a sanctuary and learn to relax! Do you have friends for support?

After many years of living alone, I just moved in with my partner (it may be the beginning of the end!). I miss so many things about living alone.

1. Everything was exactly where I left it
2. The temperature is how I want it (some people apartently don't like all the windows open!)
3. The only people who come to visit are people you want to see and they come at a time you expect them to
4. Phone chargers don't go walkabout!!!
5. No one questions the frequency of your online deliveries, even if they are "only joking"
6. You don't have to faffe about with nonsense on moving cars in the driveway based on who intends to leave next

Honestly, living alone is brilliant. You don't have to compromise at all. It probably does make people a little selfish but so what. I miss it so much.

Cosy nights in watching and eating what you want. Lying across the bed in a starfish shape. Talking to yourself out loud without sounding mad. Listening to audio books with no interruptions. I loved living on my own!
Best wishes for a happy future.

@Lupin61

Yes it's wonderful not having to put up with my ex partner farting or breathing anymore come to thinking 🤔 about how abusive he was in the past...

Life is low maintenance - not running around after anyone else.
Life is low tension - not dealing with anyone else’s moods.
Life is high comfort - surrounded by things that I like and that bring me joy

You get all the drawer space in the bedroom.
You get control of the remote control for TV.
You can eat what you want and when you want.
None has a moan if you are tired, go to bed and clear up next morning.
Less laundry, less washing and even less ironing.
You get the whole bed to yourself.
You can keep bedside light on to read and no one to complain.
No one to disagree with you about anything from where to go on holiday to what to have for dinner.

I've got a list of all the things l want to do and places l want to go. When l do something, l put the date next to it. Because l don't have to fit in with anyone else's plans, if l feel like doing something, off l go on an adventure. They have all been amazing, because l appreciate being able to go when l want, enjoy it without someone moaning, then come back when l want!

You get all the drawer space in the bedroom

Not to be underrated!

You can change your plans to suit your mood. I went to bed before 9pm yesterday because I was exhausted. Got up early today and did some gardening, out to pub gig at 5pm with no planning at all.

The explanations and negotiation for a change of routine when I was married would have been ridiculous.

I love this thank you - I’m not the slightest bit soft but I may have welled up a little reading that as it really resonates x

This is a wonderful description and clearly shows someone who has come through the shit times and is now relishing the good times. Solidarity from a fellow living-aloner!

Rest and sleep when you like. Not feel obliged to have sex. Not having the mood of the home/family being dominated by one person.
Not being constantly watched and critised.
Not resenting the lack of help.
Cleaner home.
Cleaner toilet.
Safety. Calm. My children being raised in a safe calm home.

And why not. I hope you enjoy every minute too xxx

Oh... not listening to someone snooze thier alam 8 times waking the whole house who don't need to wake up for another 2 hours.

This is my life!
Lived with someone years ago, who when living by himself could do all housework, the minute I moved in he lost that ability: bloody infuriating! I did almost everything but refused to wash his clothes (everything else was shared stuff).
Anyway fast forward: live by myself and sometimes the place is smart, sometimes it's a tip, but it is entirely my choice and I cannot imagine living any other way now

You know what, and I'm gonna sound like a bit of shitty person perhaps..

Being alone means I don't have to have my life revolve around some other someone's issues.
I see so many women's lives overtaken by their Husbands Alcoholism, porn addiction, affair, coercions and, here's where I don the flame shield, their husbands depression or anxiety etc.

I couldn't imagine living my life managing someone else's issues... I spend my life managing my own.

I don't imagine handing the TV remote to some other fucker either tbh.

Plus, and the biggest barrier to me having a partner .. I fucking hate people. Being a misanthrope is much easier when you're also an isolationist with schizoid personality disorder

🤣🤣

For me the moments when I feel the most appreciative that I am living alone after a 20+ year marriage is when I go to bed and when I wake up. He was a massive snorer and it’s blissful knowing that you will get a quiet nights sleep.

i also really appreciate not having to listen to Match of the fucking day on a weekend morning or spend an afternoon hearing F1 cars from the TV for hours and hours. Now I don’t turn the TV on until the evening if at all.

For me its not having to deal with a drunk idiot who is then trying to start an argument....not feeling guilty if i sit down and scroll on my phone.
Just general contentment and peace.
I have a partner but will never ever live witj him.

Oh yes a very important one! Not being a man’s wank sock. Never, ever having sex unless I want to. Not feeling that horrible pressure when you haven’t ‘given’ him sex in a few days. Not having to put up with crap sex with men who cum in 30 seconds, and faking it so they don’t feel bad.

I love it! I have a beautiful home that is 100% my taste. I can invite who I want, when I want. I can watch whatever I want on tv. I had a start of summer party yesterday - and today I have had the house entirely to myself. I sat in my beautiful Garden and read a book and am now watching loot on Apple TV!

I lived house hunting alone - no compromises!

I have have a dressing room and my own home office!

My house was owned by a solo woman before me and you could tell! The dressing room is perfection😍.

my niece is threatening to move into the spare room - but she is ten so I have a few years yet😂

Every single bloody thing.

Technically I don't live alone, I have 2 kids and a dog. But there isn't a chance in hell I'm living with another bloke again.

I love it. I thought I'd be lonely, but honestly the more time I spend by myself the less I want others in my space. It's my sanctuary and I'm keeping it that way!

Inviting your pals over for a cuppa and gossip

Decorating how your like

Watching what you want

Peace and quiet when you want it

Long baths

As tidy (or u tidy) as suits you

More wardrobe space

Less clutter

No judgement. I can do whatever I like, whenever I want to and no one has any say in the matter.

Or being the person who snoozes their alarm millions of times before getting up! 😊