to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

Just ask her outright. Tell her you can't go unless you're seated and if she doesn't want to swap (she doesn't have to) then she accepts that she won't be sharing accommodation etc.

This is what I thought too. Why can't the guys Stand together and you two have seats if you're the fans anyway

I guess your best shot would be to explain the situation and ask clearly. I think what you are asking is reasonable and if i was your friend i would be happy to do help you.

However, realistically...no one will be seating for long so you probably wont see much. (I guess you can still hear). But being so pregnant will probably just be exhausting.

Also, there is no leader booker rule.
And transfer may very well just open 2 or 3 days before the date (i think for Paris ticket transfer became available 6 days before)

Best friends are best friends until you need them for something 😊

My husband hates standing at a gig so wouldn't go if he didn't get seated tickets
Also your pregnant not ill. Youll be fine. Im in the middle of quite grueling chemotherapy and i am still going to standing gigs

Have a great time. You'll be fine. Standing is so much better anywat. More atmosphere

But ...you can always ask to swap

I think I would hate it if I had a seat and everyone stood up!!

It happened at a concert we were at recently, in the seating area, one woman stood up and blocked everyone’s view and everyone was RAGING and tried to make her sit down. She just kept saying ‘it’s a concert, I’ll stand up if I want’ and they told her go down to the standing area if she wanted to stand. She was the only one standing up. Now I’m thinking we were lucky, at Taylor Swift, everybody probably would be standing alright.

Also your pregnant not ill. Youll be fine

You can’t tell her she’ll be fine. Everyone experiences pregnancy different. Op will know what she can manage and she clearly feels she can’t manage standing.

Yup!

I think she's being a bit of a dick.

They are your tickets, you are holding all the cards.

No need to have a falling out or anything. Ask what she would prefer; swap, or you'll sell the tickets.

Refunding her is a strange one though as she didn't buy them, her ex did. As she's not a big fan, maybe she would prefer the money?

In which case, sell the standing ones, and refund her what the ex paid. You keep the seated ones.

Sorted.

Honestly, just lay it out to her.

"I'm not going to be able to use the standing tickets, unfortunately. Would you like to swap me for the seated ones, or would you prefer I just sold all thr tickets as I can't go, and I'll refund you? Let me know what suits!"

If she's got an issue with any of that, she's no friend.

Perfect 👌

Hi op. Also a BIG fan so I am feeling your pain.

Transfer will be available closer to the date. I assume the cut off date for reselling the VIP tickets has passed, but what about your tickets? Are they VIP? If not you should be able to sell those via TM.

Even if you can't, there are 3rd party websites where you can resell them (even for Irish dates, but Stubhub etc not listing any Irish dates as touting is illegal, not sure how other websites getting away with it). Ireland has also removed the lead booker rule though so I'm guessing your tickets aren't for Dublin.

What I would do is;

1. Tell your friend you CAN'T go now and you're going to sell your tickets. See if she panics about hotel rooms etc.
2. If she doesn't immediately offer you her tickets (she definitely should), buy yourself 2 tickets for Lyon* from ticombo as they are very reasonably priced (and the prices will likely drop closer to the dates, like ones for Paris have). Dunno why she hasn't been that popular in France compared to everywhere else. Weird.

• I'm assuming it's not France you're going to as I know the French Ticketmaster doesn't have those live electronic tickets.

This. There is absolutely no way I'd have managed it. Walking long distances was absolutely fine throughout, but standing still made me faint!

You need to be blunt. You will not be able to go if it's standing, so either you guys have to swap seats, or no one will be going. Other option if you're not wanting to go quite so blunt- have you thought about trying to swap tickets with someone who has seating? Although not sure how that would or could work if you're saying standing has to be in 4 hrs early- is that obligatory or you can't get entry at all? I'm sure someone would love to have standing seats for the atmosphere if they are a big fan

Just tell her - do not ask (she has paid fur the tickets right)?
I'd say 'Mindy sorry I'm not going to be able to stand for 8 hours so I'm happy to swap the tickets and don't worry about mine being higher priced I just need to be able to sit otherworldly we none of us can go'. Make it sound like she's getting the better deal!

@ticketproblems I can't quote a quoted reply because using phone app - but am replying the picture of where it says transfer unavailable. This will be because each venue and each event can set their own restrictions. It might be that they don't allow transfers until the week, or sometimes 72 hours before the event. Usually they will have had big problems with ticket touts if they are setting strict restrictions. But it will be allowed at some point beforehand. So many people purchase tickets for Christmas/birthday gifts.

I still hope for your sake that your friend agrees to swap but my point about transferring them was to explain that you not going doesn't mean your friend can't go either (and also that you may be able to sell your pair if you decide not to go).

It was actually a week before my due date and in the end baby arrived the day before the gig so I don’t of been going any way 🤣

It was the more getting out and home on the tube which I was worried about as after Elton John at the o2 I was fine for the show but getting out was a drrrrraaaaag

Most European venues will have someone you can ask for assistance on arrival - the floor stewards usually have protocols for this stuff. If you’ll be close to the flying limit in your third trimester you might have more issues than which tickets you use.
You could be refused at boarding or immigration. What has your travel insurance said and do you have a contingency if you go into labour in the European country?

I’ve just been to see Taylor in Paris.

Firstly, you can enter whenever you like - there is no need to stick to a specified “entry time”, so you could go in right before she starts if you’re concerned about standing for longer than necessary. Secondly, there was absolutely no checking of IDs. All we had to do was scan our tickets. The original lead booker does NOT have to be present.

I don’t know if this helps solve any of your problems but just in case this is useful info!

This.

Your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend. Can't you give her tickets to her ex, the real TS fan?

@ticketproblems

I’d just say you can’t go now due to pregnancy. Unfortunately, if you can’t go - then she can’t either.

Then if you feel up to it, go and don’t tell her.

If she finds out and you lose the friendship - so be it. She doesn’t sound like a great friend - I wouldn’t think twice about swapping.

Or what @PointWriter says!!

Would just you and your friend go and take the seated tickets, sell the floor ones back and leave the partners at home? Are they even that bothered about going?

All tickets are on your account. In your name. She didn't pay for them and has been given them free.
I'd just yell her "I'm going to take the 2 seated tickets and you can have the standing ones".

If she's not that bothered about going/standing and her bf isn't that big a fan anyway then she'll probably tell you so she's not bothered going. Then you can offer the tickets back to her ex! I'm sure he'd be delighted to go and stand close to the stage.

You need to contact the venue not Ticketmaster. I was heavily pregnant at a gig and had seated tickets but couldn’t have got to them due to the height and my centre of gravity!!! They changed them on the night for me but I was seated and they moved my seat. Give the venue a call they always hold back production seats.

I am 37 and have a couple of Taylor Swift songs I love on my rotation. She has one song 'The Best Day' about gratitude for the things that her parents did growing up that always bloody makes me cry since I had kids. She's 34 so we are not that different in age and I love her sense of humour. I am not going to a concert and not worth that much money to me, but I'd use gifted or cheap tickets if I had them. It's not like adults are listening to a teenage girl singing!

Just tell her if the event people don't sort it out for you, you will have to use one of the seated tickets or you won't be able to go. Her non-TS-fan boyfriend can have the standing ticket and she's welcome to join him if she wants.