To ask if you would date a guy who...

[NCMD]

• Has visited a brothel in the past and paid for services?
• Does recreational drugs with friends every few months (weed, MDMA, mushrooms, coke)
• Has a cross dressing fetish?

Interested to hear others thoughts on the above points to help me move on from being dumped by this guy.

YABU - Yes. I'd date him.
YANBU - No. You've dodged a bullet.

Same here.

@ISeeTheLight I’m trying to think of a country where all of those drugs are legal.

Next!

Red Red Red flags flying very high.OP . Look as others here have said , yanbu.what are you moving on from exactly. A life of misery!

Brothel - No absolutely not
Drugs - addict no but recreational maybe
Drag - not if it's a kink. Although, I would get worked up buy a guy wearing a skirt to air out his balls.

Honestly, I'm more concerned about you @NCMD. Why would you date a guy who used brothel? He thinks he can buy consent. You need to look at your own self worth. It doesn't matter how lovely he was. He confessed this to you and you weren't repulsed by him.

Personally no. It’s also perfectly reasonable to say yes.

But if you aren’t interested in being with someone who uses drugs, purchasers sex or cross dresses that’s all completely reasonable.

But then I also subscribe aggressively to the belief that consent trumps everything and it is always ok to not choose to have a relationship with someone.

It is always ok to say no.

No

No to all of those things.

The reply of others doesn't matter, if these things entice you then they do. If they don't then they don't.

Easy no on each of them 😂

In the bin with the cross-dressing druggie who pays for sex!!

Oh god. Why are you not celebrating?! 🤮

Which party are they going to run for in the general election?

what all the others say.

But really all of those things are just different manifestations of the same part of his personality: the part that demands that “the rules” don’t apply to him, and that other people acknowledge it.

you perhaps got dumped for not validating his view of himself as really special and for whom “ordinary” or mundane are beneath him.
you can’t have a relationship with him, you can only be loudly applauding his relationship with himself.

At least he’s being upfront about things lol

But no.

All of them together? Not a chance.

One from the list? Probably. The worst is going to brothels. Cross dressing or the occasional joint wouldn't bother me.

Agreed. No to any drug use - never mind the rest.

If you have to even ask about one of these then it’s not looking good…

I've been with a man who paid for a dominatrix to do stuff to him a couple of times but to me that's different to a brothel. Similarly, there's a difference between e.g. being dressed as a sissy maid as part of a power game and wanting to wear full drag - there's different kinds of kink, and full on misogyny out there and I feel like I know it when I see it.

Drugs I have no opinion about really but would wonder if it made the person too boring or escapist.

Middle one wouldn't bother me, apart from the cocaine.
Brothel would and so would the cross dressing if it was a fetish rather than just feeling comfy in a dress.

I often wonder about the ability for people to be independent thinkers when they need to ask for others' opinions about something that is so blatantly obvious - if it was individually I could understand it, but all 3 together, really??

"if it was a bear it would have bitten you on the arse" springs to mind.

Thing is OP we have been indoctrinating people into "being kind" which I think is actually eroding boundaries.

I think Be Kind is middle class for STFU so no, there is not being kind to a drug taking misogynist with a fetish.

No thanks. Bullet dodged. .

He sounds like a catch OP, but I'd run like a mile for even one of the reasons.

I did say depending on the drug and how often they used. Some of those would be a no from me.

No I wouldn't

I'd be a definite NO on all of them, I'd find them all a big turn off, but each to their own.