To be concerned with how my boyfriend acted when I was ill?

[Vlop]

I'm 30 and he's 31. I've been with him for 18 months, during which I never got ill. He even commented on this saying it's really good.

We've travelled to another continent for his work last week. I tagged along as he wanted me to but got very sick with sore throat and running nose 2 days ago.

We wake up at 6.30 for work (he goes to the office and I work from the hotel room we're staying). Last night we went to bed at 10.30pm and I woke up literally feeling suffocated at 10.45pm. He hadn't fallen asleep yet. I asked him if he could get me flu relief hot drink. It's the only thing that actually works for me.

He went out and got back saying the store 2 minutes away didn't have any medication. I tried to sleep but was really struggling so asked him if there was any pharmacy nearby. He Googled and said that the nearest one was half an hour away and couldn't walk. He did have a car but didn't offer to drive. I explicitly told him that I was really struggling and really needed some medicine. He wasn't doing anything so I asked him to at least phone reception for medication. The phone didn't work so he had to go downstairs. At that stage he was getting really mean to me, making comments like 'I want this over with, let's get you a medicine and be done' etc. It wasn't even 11pm at this point. He came back with one random loose tablet which had no expiry date on and I didn't know who touched it. Tablets never help me anyway so I told him not to worry. Made myself some tea and dozed off.

In the morning I found out that his foot was hurting. He didn't tell me this last night so I didn't know and it explains some of the irritable behaviour. I also understand maybe I was being slightly difficult as I was really physically struggling (first time in our relationship, I'm not a princess). Today he texted me at work to see how I am only once and when he got back I told him I didn't feel like having dinner and he went out alone to eat. Don't think he even asked me if I wanted anything. I find that lack of empathy/compassion a red flag. AIBU?

I wouldn’t dream of sending my partner off to buy lemsip, late at night, when they have an early start.

A thirty year old needing someone else to go out and get them life saving Lemsip doesn't count . Sorry .

Yes I’m sensitive

my husband is still not 100%. He has lost income from not being able to work and is not entitled to sick pay, I am still catching up on sleep from not being able rest properly when he was waking me up constantly coughing, he was unable to get out of bed so everything was left to me, I lost hours at work which I am still making up due to having to do the school runs which he normally does.

using my families situation to get a cheap laugh was in bad taste but I have accepted the apology.

and thank goodness my husband (and children who caught a milder version) are now recovering.

its seems to be about who can say the nastiest thing in here sometimes.

No-one should give a fuck about your being unwell unless you are quite literally dying. Got it. 🙄

Yeah so debilitating she had a cup of tea and fell back to sleep

Got it one how did you guess .

@MrRydersParlourGame

He got her paracetamol. Which is exactly what lemsip is except lemsip is paracetamol in a hot drink. So it would have worked just as well as the lemsip. She wanted lemsip, she did not need it, there was a suitable alternative

Most of those medicated drinks have paracetamol as the active ingredient - it's not that hard to chuck a strip of paracetamol in your bag when you go away.

You had a cold and felt uncomfortable but make it sound like a medical emergency. How will you cope if ever you ARE “really sick”? Grow up.

I’m imaging the receptionist pretending to pull it out of their ear with a popping sound, like a magician.

Everyone here needs to relax. It's nice to have someone make a faff about u and make u most comfortable when u are feeling poorly - whether that's giving space and medicating/bringing you food, or going on an errand to get your favourite comfort things!

Even though I wouldn't ask my dp to go looking for something that I know works best for me, he would do it on his own accord. THATS THE POINT. She didn't ask her dp to go grab it for her, she just wants to know if him not even considering doing this for her when she's unwell and his general lack of concern can be considered a sign for how he would treat her if she was unwell in the future.

OP I agree with you, I would not appreciate his response and irritability about u feeling unwell and expressing it.

That's just my point of you based on my relationship and how me and my partner treat each other. To each their own.

All this drama...over a cold.

I suppose it depends on your perception of the task and situation.

I think the situation of requiring a lemsip wasn’t serious enough to warrant your partner doing the task of running around a foreign city at night when he had work. If DH said he had a cold, I’d be pretty reluctant to go out hunting.

I guess others might think having a cold is worse than a late night scavenge around town.

But with the context of her whole post after almost suffocating she sits up and makes tea then goes to sleep with no medical assistance does tell you she wasn't actually suffocating let alone the fact that she was able to speak and Google....suffocation equals ambulance inability to do anything....do you not think she's prone to exaggeration....I guess because she's not normally ill? Even her time line makes no sense.

They can't in resus on Oxygen but yes after medical treatment which she hadn't had they could.

So you believe she was suffocating from something that resolved itself but wasn't a cold had no medical intervention etc and now when you go into a&E you see everyone in the resus area sat drinking tea in between slipping their O2 masks on and off? If you have real experience of relatives suffocating with asthma, COPD or Pneumonia you know they are not mid attack sipping tea. They are panicking and trying to stay alive until their O2 gets so low they can't even do that. Watching someone really struggling and talking them through breathing like a woman in labour and seeing their eyes pleading for your help because they can't speak is suffocation. They don't let you leave them to go for lemsip even letting go to find the phone for an ambulance is hard. They don't even let you go for a wee. You are what is keeping them breathing.

I'm getting really confused by some of the posts on this thread and how they relate to the OPs scenario.

OP did not present as seriously ill, she was clearly conscious and able to communicate to her BF what she wanted, and indeed what she didn't want. She was also able to sit up and google directions to the nearest pharmacy.

I'm sure if she had genuinely been suffocating her BF would have called an ambulance as that would have been the appropriate action, had that been the actual scenario.

Exactly, the absolute melodrama of some posts (and the OP) is hilarious.

Woman has a slight cold and goes to sleep, nobody was suffocating, she had a blocked nose 🤣

Man brings ‘wrong’ kind of medication late at night and isn’t mind reader that although woman says she wants no dinner she actually does want dinner, and doesn’t correct him or ask him to bring anything back.