To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?

[BeepBeepYh]

DH is a geek. He collects figures, lego, character statues etc.

When we had a smaller house his stuff was all over the living room. Shelves of them, cabinets, on the mantle piece etc... It caused a fair few arguments.

We've moved to a new house and there's a small room upstairs that's currently got boxes in that haven't been unpacked /sorted that we agreed would be his room for his collection.

He can put shelves up, lights, a cabinet. Anything he wants as long as the door shuts.

It's been close to a year and he's not sorted the room out.

His collection is all still in boxes in that room and the loft.

Only since we moved he started a new collection. A certain series of figures and he's been buying them.

He must have bought 30 of them.

My livingroom sideboard has been filled with the empty boxes (he won't bin them) and the shelves I put up in an alcove has been taken over by the figures.

My kids are all teens now and I was really looking forwards to having a 'grown up' living room.

I said to him yesterday that he needs to move all the toys and set up his room.

He says that I have things on the shelves so why can't he? My things are picture frames, dried flowers, ornaments and candles.

It's hardly the same is it?

It's not like I'm saying he can't collect them. I don't give a shit. I'm just asking that he sorts the room upstairs out so he can put them all on display there!

He said that it's not fair that I've got the living room and bedroom for my stuff (I've got absolutely nothing on display, I just want a NORMAL living room and bedroom that doesn't look like ToysRUs. It's not like I collect things and have all my stuff everywhere. I just want a minimal bedroom after decades of toy clutter) and he has to just have the office room.

I said most blokes would love have a whole mini room to have their own space and the living room or bedroom isn't the place for his collection.

AIBU?

Imagibe 30 x 6" marvel figurines stood on your living room shelf??

@BabyRaindeer he has a room - he just hasn't bothered to sort it.
@BeepBeepYh I definitely think it should be the rule of one shelf each for whatever you each want.
Plants/Candles etc belong to both of you. They stay.
Then one shelf each. If he can only fit 6 items on his shelf then he has to rotate.
Then you put whatever you want on your shelf. Same rule - if you run out of space you rotate.

I find it really unattractive when people collect this amount of juvenile plastic shite. Whether that's a man and marvel figurines or a woman and Disney memorabilia.

I'm hardly stuffy. I'm in my 30s and I rollerblade and skate at skate parks and I like video games. But shelves upon shelves full of this crap really turns me off.

meh - i hate dried flowers, candles and nick-nacks so I'd be telling you to put your stuff elsewhere, especially if you told me i couldn't have my things on display.

the grown up thing is to compromise - maybe he could have one or two in the living room, and rotate them (as for the boxes, they help the resale value in some cases)

I think you should do this fairly and equally.
If your living room has been full of bright plastic hoarded crap collectibles for the last 20 years, then it should be a minimalist non-plastic zone for the next 20 years. That's fair.

Would helping him get his room sorted out be a compromise?

I offered dh help to research and order furniture for his junk hole room, and we spent a weekend working together on the assembly (ikea).

There’s something about actual physical shelf space that focuses clutter decisions. So if you can find a way to fast forward to that point, it’s worth it.

I'd never have that shit in my living room. Mr Pony makes very small models of WW2 tanks. Guess how many small model tanks are on display in the living room of our home? That would be none.

He needs to compromise. He can have his favourite Hulk model on a shelf in the living room, all the rest of the junk memorabilia goes in the dedicated room in binbags if necessary.

I'm a massive nerd and I HATE collectibles. I don't see the point in them. They're not worth anything as a million other people have them. They're not aesthetically pleasing, they serve no purpose and they are terrible dust gatherers which are hard to clean. You can't see them properly when they're all bunched up together anyway.

Why don't you turn his room into a space for you, seeing as he isn't using it? Decorate it nicely and have a comfy chair, nice lighting etc and use it as a relaxing place where you can do what you like with the decor. If he isn't using the room for his crap, you may as well have it for yourself.

I can honestly say that this would be a deal-breaker for me. Grounds for divorce! 😂

He already has 28 plants and 16 pots in the living room from his other collection/hobby. That’s more than enough compromise on OP’s part.

Wait a minute.... before we all dismiss your Toy Boy as juvenile.... might he actually knowingly or unknowingly be onto something big financially? Ist edition Bla de Bla Spider Something Still In Original Box... worth ££££ giving up the day job??

Honestly if anyone put my stuff in the bin they'd be sitting out next to it next collection day.

I would not be happy with all those toys cluttering up the living room. 1/2 fav toys wouldn’t be bad but that amount is just clutter. Can you offer to help put up shelves and pick out display units for the small room?

If bin the boxes if they weren’t moved in a week.

My ex was like this. Another woman's problem now. He must have spent thousands over the years. I now have a lovely clean, tidy house and just DP's guitar and manageable record collection in the lounge, which we both enjoy.

this

God this is cringey, I just imagine how cool and alternative he thinks he is. There's a specific type of person who is absolutely convinced that their oh so unique personality can only be expressed by right combination of 400 funko pops.

This is had such weird late stage capitalism energy.

I don't like a lot of clutter and the communal areas are mainly art work and a couple of photos. But he's right, they are as much "things to display" as any ornaments. My DH loves a Lego set or a car and he does have some out. Not loads, but the ones that are special to him

Maybe rephrase it as "special family or couple memories" in the living room and you each have your "own" interest things elsewhere?

Could you divvy up the display space?

Then he can't deny how much crap he has. And he can be responsible for the dusting of at least his shelves.

If he no longer wants the spare room, grab it for yourself.

If i came round to your house and saw all these figures on every shelf, id think your ten year old had taken over the house! I dont think i could put up with this (marvel, harry potter or disney shit etc) its odd. Id have to end it as it would do my head in 😆

My question to this is why do you buy things for your home that don't bring you joy?

Find things that do and display those as decor, rather than generic.

You need to reframe the situation. You don’t have a shared living room and a man-cave, you have a living room each. You each get to decorate and maintain your own room as you see fit, and you aren’t allowed to use the other person’s room unless you are their guest.

This. Not unpacking or removing his existing things, ad acquiring more, is bordering on hoarding disorder.

I'd be saying he needs to sort the upstairs room before anything else comes in the house. That is reasonable.

I just could not tolerate this!

No way in hell would I as a grown woman sit night after night in a crèche.

Pack up his collection and move it to
the spare room. No ifs, no buts.

He is not five years old for fucks sake!!

You need a friend with a really grabby, snotty child. Invite them into Shite r us your living room and let them at the collectibles, he won't be long about sorting his stuff into his collectibles room.