No shorts at my wedding

[MumOfHals]

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol?

How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS?

Dress code:

Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

You're asking people to go abroad for your wedding and then not expecting them to even dress comfortably for the weather? How horrid are you!!

Ugh

I think so many Brits (and Americans) have forgotten how to dress 'properly' for various occasions. Working from home hasn't helped the cause.

Have fun with the description...

Old school Riviera glamour?

Dress code: Heads, shoulders, knees and toes...all welcome except the knees.

Could you say formal wear for ceremony and smart casual for evening?

No, but I was responding to the posters, or one in particular, saying this just doesn't happen in Spain and that weddings are a formal occasion. However my experience is that's simply not true as a blanket statement - there are formal and more informal weddings here the same as anywhere. Church weddings in theory are formal but those are far from the majority around here. Far too many hoops to jump through to be eligible for a church wedding. Churchgoing in general is of course more prevalent than in the UK and while the much older generations tend to dress more formally in church, I find the under 40s quite the opposite, often shockingly so. I'm not even Catholic but I would never have dreamed of turning up to any church in some of the skimpy stuff that seems to be the norm now.

Op I think you can request no shorts at your wedding, it's up to the guests if they comply with the request or not but I've just seen you've posted a photo of a couple, with the purpose of slating their attire, I'd ask mn to remove that, that is really poor form of you op

Not an overreaction at all. It's bloody rude. Would you love your picture on mumsnet with people criticising the way you look? No. Who cares if he's unlikely to see it. It's the principle. No one should be sharing pics of others online much less criticising them.

Photos of my venue to give context.

Old monastery. Religious.

Half the guests live in Spain.

Brits can manage to dress comfortably and properly for the occasion like everyone else.

Meal / Reception is in the evening, under the stars, fairy lights.

I'm not exposing my guests to 40 degree sweltering midday heat.

I never thought I had the need to address shorts for a 'location' wedding, 50% of our guests are Spaniards and won't wear shorts... but like the 20% of Brits at my friends Spanish wedding recently a lot wore shorts / trainers.

I get to them it's a holiday, but they can respect its a wedding from 6pm-3am.

Anything up to 6pm they can walk around in their birthday suit if they please. Their room is on the venue with aircon.

I personally don't see it as a hardship.

Going by this thread, the world's full of people who think Spain = beach attire, even in church and at formal venues 🤯 They presumably think Spanish people wear 'holiday clothes' all the time, weddings, funerals & christenings included. They have probably been to Spain but paid zero attention to the normal Spanish life, in appropriate clothing, going on around them.

@MumOfHals, I'd go with 'formal wear' and add something like 'men: long trousers' in brackets. Not at all Bridezilla, and enjoy your big day!

@Garlicked

Going by this thread, the world's full of people who think Spain = beach attire, even in church and at formal venues 🤯 They presumably think Spanish people wear 'holiday clothes' all the time, weddings, funerals & christenings included. They have probably been to Spain but paid zero attention to the normal Spanish life, in appropriate clothing, going on around them.

Yeah, this. ^

Perhaps Dresscode: formal summer wear (no short pls)

But the OP still hasn't answered the rather important question of when the wedding is to be held. Asking guests to wear long trousers in the north or even October-May for example, no problem. If it's in August, 40+ degrees and 80% humidity? Not at all the same thing.

Irrespective of my thoughts on shorts at weddings I think it's revolting behaviour to have posted a picture of that couple on the internet without their permission for the sole purpose of knocking what he is wearing.

YABU
I don't think that it is appropriate to specify what people can and can't wear.
It is possible to wear smart, tailored shorts.
I would take offence if I was invited to a wedding and was told what NOT to wear!

OP depending on what kinds of friends you have, they will know shorts are unacceptable at a more formal wedding. However you can always count on one showing up in them… my wedding was black tie. 2 guests showed up in short dresses and one was a plus one that showed up in a short white dress!!
I was quite miffed, and couldn’t believe the audacity however I soon stopped caring when I could see how embarrassed she was. A couple of other guests made remarks and she only made a prat of herself. All eyes are on you as the bride anyway, so don’t worry about it too much. I know planning a wedding can be very stressful.

Finca Monasterio, near Málaga? It's lovely round there.

Right, and lovely but it's not been a monastery or religious for a long time. Let's not be disingenuous here, it's a posh wedding venue rather than a religious destination. Beautiful and very boujee. And again, depending upon the unspecified part of the year 6pm-3am can be and often is sweltering. As I said before, it's your wedding so you can request whatever you want but as replies on this thread seem to show, you'll have to accept that maybe 50% of people will think it's unreasonable. The photo posted of the tracky shorts and trainers is of course not suitable for any kind of wedding, even a casual one in my view, but there's a big difference between that and for example formal shorts with pricy Italian loafers. Whether or not anyone wants to wear shorts and objects to trousers is likely to depend upon the weather conditions and how uncomfortable that may or may not be. I like an excuse to dress up sometimes whereas my husband would be deeply uncomfortable with wearing trousers in the summer here and would decline the invitation on that basis alone.

I went to a wedding in Spain once and most of the wedding party - who were dressed in formal suits - looked like they were about to pass out, sweat coming through, the lot.

Even though, in your case, that’s the opposite of what the bride and groom want?

Here's a random assortment of people getting married in Malaga. As you can see, the guests are dressed for a wedding. Don't know why this should come as a surprise. (Search Bodas en Malaga if you want to look for yourself).

That location is beautiful!

You can just put “Formal Attire” like this. Anyone not sure will hopefully google it and see “suit or tuxedo”.