No shorts at my wedding

[MumOfHals]

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol?

How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS?

Dress code:

Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

I hardly think a few extra inches of trouser will have them "sweating their balls off"....

This exactly.

I live in spain ....No-one would wear shorts for a wedding.
Always a linen suit

In some hot countries shorts for men can be part of smart office wear and look really good. I presume nobody will be coming in football kit?

Oh, actually. British men. Maybe you do have to be specific.....

It's a real wedding, we both have Spanish citizenship. Half our guests live in Spain.

If you google Spanish wedding, they absolutely all are in suits, whatever the time of year, morning suits for wedding party, tie and jacket suit for others. So, Spanish men do look formal (hats for some).

What does "so they have had to pay money" have to do with anything??

Do people get a dispensation from dress codes merely because they traveled far and spent funds to do so? Absurd.

"Oh, sorry boss, I had to spend train fare to get here, so I am coming to work in my dressing gown."

"Sorry, King Charles, I had to spend money to come to this Garden Party; you'll have to put up with my board shorts and flip flops."

"We bought you a wedding gift, so we are coming to your wedding in trainers and track suits. If you don't like it, too bad."

Ridiculous. If the cost and terms of attending an event are unappealing, decline. Don't use the cost as an excuse to misbehave.

Dress code: summer semi-formal (or summer formal). 99% of guests understand this means no shorts, and it’s far more helpful than “elegance.”

Since it’s a destination wedding, I’m assuming you have a site or some other pathway where you are conveying more detailed info on the weekend for confirmed attendees. This is the place to go more in detail on dress for certain parts of the weekend, not the invitation. I wouldn’t get all shouty with the capitals, just say something like “ceremony & reception attire is dress or trousers and button-up, tie optional.”

Regardless, keep in mind that your wedding guests are not your decorations or accessories, they’re humans who you’ve (presumably) invited to share in celebrating your new marriage.

I don't understand how anyone could think shorts are formal. If you specify formal attire will that not be enough?

People saying about the hot country - if you were local to Italy or Spain and getting married somewhere formal, no one would dream of dressing in shorts. I don't see why it should be any different. Just because they are going abroad doesn't mean that on that particular day they will be on holiday! They will be attending a formal wedding and their attire should reflect this.

If you think your friends won't understand that formal matching means no shorts, add long trousers please. The only thing is, if you really think this needs specifying, you might want to be more specific about the ladies summer elegance and specify you mean "formal" summer elegance.

We had an abroad wedding. 30 degrees +

None of the men wore shorts. Most wore ties (but we didn't insist they did)

No jackets (apart from wedding party and one person who had a light coloured linen suit.)

We did have AirCon for all of the indoor parts though.

I think if it's mega hot then insisting on ties or jackets is unreasonable but I don't think saying no shorts is unreasonable for adults.

Will you have Spanish guests at the wedding? If so, prepárate. They will come as they please and will happily turn up in jeans or shorts to celebrate your special occasion, as they are well entitled to.

have a dress code if you wish, as long as you can deal with the potential fall out.

Do people wear shorts to weddings?! I got married in a hot country and we had a more casual attire than yours and still I don’t think anyone wore shorts, it was all chinos or linen suits. I wouldn’t have cared but Ive never seen anyone wear shorts to a wedding personally.

This looks better than some suits I've seen at weddings. (& I'm not just talking about the chap)

I think you've got a real cheek asking people to travel to Spain and be away for (at least) 4 days, to then dictate what they can wear.

So what if you're paying for everything? You should be doing that anyway.

Are the men allowed to wear a dress....
Apologies if a load of pp have already asked.

All the comments about being uncomfortable are bizarre - look next time you go abroad to a hotel. The staff on reception, bar staff, waiting staff etc are usually all still in trousers. These people are running around working all day. Im sure the guests can survive in trousers rather than shorts to go to a Wedding.

If you were going to a July wedding in the UK and it ended up being (a rare) 30 degrees kind of day, all men would still turn up in suits.

Each to their own but that really doesn't look good.

Haven't read all 13 pages of replies but LOL at the number of posters who assume it's impossible to be comfortable in long trousers. No Italian or Greek man would be caught dead in shorts at a formal occasion, and they don't melt into a puddle on the spot. It's just a matter of choosing an appropriate fabric - linen or cool wool-type weaves ought to do the job.

OP I agree with others that "formal attire" ought to suffice, but if you've witnessed scenes to the contrary in your own circle no harm specifying further. E.g. "formal dress (long trousers/evening dress)".

My thoughts exactly!

Do the women need to hide their "knobbly knees" as well? Maybe just put "Victorian modesty standards to be observed"?

Madness.

I don’t think it was clear in your post that it’s in a church. You can say that there is a dress code in your Spanish church. If it was on a beach then I wouldn’t get it. Beach weddings are informal.

Absolutely write what you want but every family has an “uncle Dave” that’ll turn up in his shorts and flip-flops regardless of dress code 😅

Guests are INVITED not asked to come. They can say box

*no not box!