No shorts at my wedding

[MumOfHals]

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol?

How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS?

Dress code:

Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

I’m honestly starting think MN post these threads purely for engagement 😂😂

Last wedding ds went to he stated that at his wedding the dress code would be shorts. He was not impressed at his 3 piece suit though he looked gorgeous in it.

I did tell him his fiancé might have something to say.

I don't think he's changed his opinion 8 years later though.

It was 84 degrees at our July wedding in the UK 25 years ago. Guests had been told they could change into informal clothes if they wished at the reception - and I'm so glad we did that. It meant that everyone was comfortable in the heat, and we had a mixture of formal and informal photos I admit it was a different style of wedding to the one the OP has organised though. I'd be more sympathetic if she'd said that the venue didn't allow casual wear - but the talk of classless knobbly/nobbly knees/nees has quenched any sympathy.

I really can’t imagine men turning up in shorts unless it’s somewhere like Benidorm, which I’m imagining it isn’t.

I got married abroad and I said I don't want any snazzy beach shirts etc

I wouldn't write 'formal wedding dress attire' unless you spell out what that means, I have no idea if that means hats, skirts below a certain length, cover your shoulders or just 'no jeans' for women, and it's not clear if you expect ties and jackets for men (formal sounds like this is a yes).

If you don't want shorts at the ceremony, say that, or say 'long trousers at the ceremony'.

I think it's quite helpful to be specific somewhere as I wouldn't have a clue what was expected/what might be needed if religious element to ceremony and so having it spelt out would be fine for me.

It's not "snobbish" to expect people to wear long pants and non-athletic wear to a serious ceremony and formal meal.

Attire matters. Hosts get to set the level of sartorial formality; that's an etiquette given. Guests who don't feel like complying can decline the invitation.

How hot will it be at sunset in Spain when you get married? If it will be incredibly hot then, yes, YABU to make your guests that uncomfortable.

I don't understand all the comments about people being hot and comfortable. Does everyone think Spanish people wear shorts to summer weddings?

I've been to a couple of weddings of Spanish friends (admittedly, this was around 15 years ago) and I felt underdressed. My outfit would have been very smart for a wedding guest at any UK wedding I've been to. Lots of the women were in what I would class as a ball gown, some of the fabrics looked quite heavy. All the men wore suits.

It's absolutely not unreasonable to specify formal attire.

We do get the occasional hot days in the UK. I don't think everyone immediately ditches trousers for shorts.

I'd so do this if I was a guest 😂

Yes, YABVU. If you don’t want people wearing shorts you should have planned your wedding somewhere cold! What are you going to do if people wear shorts anyway? Because that’s what people will do. Turn them away like a Berlin nightclub? Would you rather them be in a smart pair of shorts and comfortable or in trousers and sweating their balls off?

I’ve been lucky amount to attend several abroad weddings and they didn’t have a dress code on the assumption that guests would dress appropriately…not a single guest in shorts. Some did change after the ceremony and photos were done due to the heat but it didn’t really matter by then!

I was just looking at some contemporary wedding-etiquette sites for Spanish weddings, and they all say that formality is expected; that men wouldn't dream of wearing shorts, and that in many cases it's not even appropriate for men to remove their jackets. Women wear formal gowns and heeled shoes. This advice was for working-class as well as wealthy weddings.

We are going to a wedding in (inland) Portugal in August. Nothing specified re dress code yet but I anticipate that DH will wear long trousers but it will be fine to put both (pre-teen) DS's in shorts.

Same - big Greek wedding in high summer, the only shorts were on little boys.

What a lot of nonsense it is though. Don't you agree?
Why do people want these rules about things?

Maybe when you send out the invitations you could include a "look book" with examples of acceptable and unacceptable attire, so that there is no confusion?

So they have already had to pay money to get to a venue, presumably most coming from the UK so that won’t be cheap!! Use annual leave to attend - then you want them all to be really uncomfortable just because smart shorts do not conform?

If you have to say anything at all put ‘long trousers’ but really weddings are getting out of control!

^This^ I’d ditch the ‘Summer elegance’ though it sounds unnecessarily pretentious.

Just put long trousers, lots of hotels in hot countries do this even for dinner. Men can survive in long trousers for one day. Ive been to plenty of Summer weddings in the UK (ours was during a heatwave) and no one wore shorts (jackets came off after the ceremony which is normal and wouldn’t expect people to stay in jackets all day). Just make it clear its still a formal day and not a relaxed beachy attire style wedding.

It is understandable to want to maintain a bit of dignity and fit in with local customs. Therefore what do Spanish men wear for weddings?
Recently in France I saw a group on their way from Town Hall to Church, many men in dark suits, the rest dark long trousers and white shirts.

No, I don't agree. Clothing affects the ambience; it's not just a personal preference thing.

We enjoy being nicely dressed and seeing others spruced up and in their finest. It's not a hardship. It's a pleasure.

Those who don't enjoy elegant attire should not accept invitations to events where it's expected.

In my experience, anyone who describes themselves or their wedding as classy is the polar opposite.
Op, you do realise that destination weddings and formal invites with a dress code are literally the polar opposite of classy.

I hate the term chav with a passion but a destination is what I would picture if I was forced to describe a 'chav wedding'

You would be better off getting a photographer with good photoshopping skills (they can ensure all guests are suitably presentable in your photos) than have people judge you for being a controlling, snobby, bridezilla.

Where is this frankly weird idea that it's impossible for men to wear a suit in hot weather coming from?

I've just googled "summer wedding in Italy" and everything that's come up is men in suits. Same for Greece and Spain.

Apologies for appropriating this bride (if you're on here Caroline you and your husband look splendid)

Summer Wedding in Italy