To think most women on here hate men

[Tanyahawkes]

Sorry for the rant but I’m noticing a pattern on mn, any post involving a man and a disagreement results in multiple calls of he’s a narcissist, he’s abusing, he’s controlling, leave the bastard!

I’ll admit that a list of posts do involve behaviour that is not nice from dh and dp. So many posts also can be interpreted in many ways too, I just feel like a large number of women jump to the worst conclusion first about a strangers partner, having only one side of a story told in a short version.

for anyone misunderstanding me, if a post says the partner is hurting physically, calling names, cheating, putting the op down, then yes I agree, ltb (so long as the post is true) it’s when a post says “great relationship, today partner upset me and we couldn’t see eye to eye” and everyone calls the poor guy a narcissist etc

It's like hating all women because as a group they commit the majority of child abuse.

There are 11 million single parents in USA, over 80% are women.
The data about child abuse is highly skewed because of that, and an unreliable source to garner facts about male vs female abuse.
In the wider world behaviour from men shows them to be more likely to abuse, more likely to commit violent and sexual crime, and actually commit more crime altogether. Motives behind crime are different between men and women as well.
I’m in no way dismissing that women can be abusive, of course they can, but the data that MRAs proudly trot out is not the gotcha that they think it is.

This is what I was getting at. Either you stand with the good ones and try and change things or you just stoop to the level of those you're complaining about and become a hypocrite.

"Exactly my sentiments. Hating a group just because of a characteristic they were born with is the definition of bigotry. Because nobody is saying they only hate violent men. They're saying they hate men as a group due to the violent minority."

@MarioIa who is "they" who are saying they hate men as a group? The vast majority of posters have focused on specific aspects of male behaviour that make women fearful and uncomfortable, not to mention that continue to cause untold damage to the world. How many have actually said they hate men though?

I don’t hate men, I’m surrounded by the nicest men you could wish. However I do know that not all men are like this.

@SerafinasGoose it's such a strange stance isn't it? Pretty much every single example these couple of posters have given has male violence, entitlement and abuse still as the root cause. An entire industry exists because of it and look at what they focus on.

Your discussion is not healthy and you are now showing many of the traits that abusive people actually show, which makes it a lot clearer as to why you don't like it when posters recognise abusive relationships so quickly on MN threads
Similarly, one could claim that with the behaviours shown here by some, it's not surprising that some men don't let them psychologically manipulate them and that's why their experiences with men tend to always be negative.

Some posters are just incredibly naive if they believe they get a rounded view of someone's behaviour by reading just one sided account of the situation.

It's ok to advise to recognise potential abuse and what to do in this instance. It's not ok nor helpful to jump right in insisting that the man is obviously an abuser because of what is written by one angry person at a specific time or assuming he must be because...he's a man.

No it actually wouldn't make you as bad. Women have not spent millennia harming, abusing, raping, torturing and killing men, so men have no need to fear us or hate us. It's not the same thing at all.

Women’s role in war is usually understated.
There is the biological aspect - in the two WWs the huge number of conscripted men was simply gunfodder. There is an argument that their lives did not need to be lost at all, and the fact that they were is down to the whims of a few powerful psychopathic men.
Women could not be allowed to die in those numbers as repopulation would have been a far longer process.

Women also successfully took on jobs that up to then men had only been allowed to do, and after the war there was an effort to get women back into the kitchen so the men could get back to their jobs. Women’s contribution has been very underplayed.

Women are also highly likely to be casualties of war, especially in occupied areas. This is usually overlooked.

When men hate women it's often because women are the gatekeepers to sex and that pisses them off. If women reject them it hurts their ego and that translates into hate.

That's quite different from women hating men based on the fact that they are the main perpetrators or sexual/violent crime

I really don't hate men. In general I like men. I'm well aware of the rape and violent crime stats but it doesn't put me off men as a whole. Maybe I've just been lucky but I've reached my late 40s and the vast majority of men I've met have been great. Yes I've met some unpleasant men over the years but I've also met plenty of awful women. In general I've had more problems with women in my life than I have with men.

Most posters on here hate entitled, abusive, toxic male behaviour.

Um, a lot of women are trafficked to become domestic servants. It's usually the woman of the house that's in charge of them. Many Filipino maids are terrified of the women they work for.

@MarioIa again, go back to the root cause of the trafficking of domestic servants. Honestly it's really not that complicated.

I'm very surprised at this. I work in a women dominated sector in an organisation led by women and its extremely supportive and collaborative.
I'm not going to make sweeping generalisations based on my personal experience as that would be about as compelling as making vague unsubstantiated reference to 'research', a thread on MN or what 'I believe'. However in the interests of balance, I will say that I've personally noted that work teaming that involves men often 'works' because a hierarchy is established with one man assuming a leadership 'alpha' role over less assertive men, after much time wasting and jockeying for position.
When the team is mixed sex i have noticed the men typically assume seniority over the women. This may end up being functional after a fashion, but is actually the opposite of collaboration and results in the quieter more reflective voices going unheard.
Having managed staff of both sexes for over 25 years, I should also add, I have dealt with one case of woman on woman bullying, three cases of man on woman sexual harassment, and a man on man physical assault.

Thank you Einstein

You can apply the same rule of thumb to men.

No, I'm not Einstein, fact
😀

For those who agree that the criticizing if men as a whole on MN is fully justified, how do you feel about men's threads on other forums criticizing women as a whole?

Or is it a case of it's ok for women to do because they are justified in doing so but men are definitely not and when they do, it's misogyny?

@PamPamPamPam Guessing you're not married to a man/in a relationship with one? Genuine question...do you really hate all men? Are you fearful of all men?

Have I said I hate or fear men?

And my personal relationship with men is neither here nor there. The points that I make relate to wider society as a whole because I have the ability to move beyond incessant navel gazing and understand that my personal experiences are not necessarily representative of a global system.

I don't hate men. I'm just generally disappointed in most of them. My ex-husband wasn't a good one, and every male I've met since has let me down one way or another.

I give everyone a fair chance, and have some wonderful male friends, but potential life partners always leave me feeling, meh!

Have you seen the way men talk about women on male forums?

It's vile.

If there are men out there who genuinely believe that they are at risk from women - of abuse, sexual harassment, murder, are perhaps scared to walk the streets because of female violence against men, or suffering trauma from violence from women in the home, perhaps over multiple separate relationships, then if they are able to find other men online who have experienced similar for mutual support, then good for them. Similarly if men want to chat together about every day annoyances with their female partners, that's their business. You certainly wouldn't find me imposing myself into their conversations bleating that not all women were like that, that I was a nice woman and they were upsetting me. I'd simply avoid a conversation that wasn't aimed at me.
Thing is though, the forums where men do 'criticise' women dont tend to be my missus never empties the bin type chats with advice to leave her. They are typically a great deal more sinister and threatening than that.

This is men talking about infertile women online

Now I'm pretty sure as an infertile women I haven't said anything like this about men on here

Thanks for that @taleasoldashoney
I hope all those setting up false comparisons between on line misogyny and the so called 'misandry' on MN take note and feel suitably embarrassed by their own ignorance and hyperbole. And perhaps even be inspired to direct their policing of online sexism to the place where its most urgently needed.