To think most women on here hate men

[Tanyahawkes]

Sorry for the rant but I’m noticing a pattern on mn, any post involving a man and a disagreement results in multiple calls of he’s a narcissist, he’s abusing, he’s controlling, leave the bastard!

I’ll admit that a list of posts do involve behaviour that is not nice from dh and dp. So many posts also can be interpreted in many ways too, I just feel like a large number of women jump to the worst conclusion first about a strangers partner, having only one side of a story told in a short version.

for anyone misunderstanding me, if a post says the partner is hurting physically, calling names, cheating, putting the op down, then yes I agree, ltb (so long as the post is true) it’s when a post says “great relationship, today partner upset me and we couldn’t see eye to eye” and everyone calls the poor guy a narcissist etc

You came out and said, in your OP, any post involving a man and a disagreement results in multiple calls of he’s a narcissist, he’s abusing, he’s controlling, leave the bastard! Those are your exact words.

People (including me) said - I don't see that, can you show us what you mean? And you linked to 2 threads which did not in any way represent what you've claimed. You went on to summarise what you thought was said in those threads, which in fact didn't happen. That was pointed out to you, calmly and factually.

Now you've backtracked... "oh it's a viiiiiibe. I'm entitled to my opinion and not to be told it's wrong!"

The issue here is not that people are being awful to you for having an opinion, it's that some of your posts are actual lies, and you're using those lies to cast aspersions on other women, and they are quite rightly taking issue with that and debating it with you.

I'm making the point that while racism is generally seen as unacceptable in any circumstance, sexism seems to be considered fair game by some as long as they have 'reasons'.

These 'reasons' come across not dissimilar to the reasons racists give for spewing their bile - "forriners taking all the jobs" etc.

The trap people seem to fall into is thinking it's OK because they're surrounded by others that do it. Funnily enough, that's part of how the Jews were persecuted in fairly modern history. Everybody went along with it so it seemed normal and acceptable. Can't be racist if everybody else is doing it, right?

It always seems to be those that claim to fight sexism that display the most sexist behaviour. 🤔

In the workplace, HR receives the largest number of complaints from women about other women. These complaints are often exaggerated and used to tarnish the reputation of the other person.
As the overseer of 16,000 employees, if I am made aware of such disputes, the involved parties will usually be managed out or handed a p45 immediately.. Similarly, on Mumsnet, some posts are gradually drip-fed to incite a reaction if everyone does not agree . Women sometimes bully other women to achieve their goals, and this issue is also prevalent on Mumsnet.

Some posters hate men and do all they can to gather a consensus online.

And some posters hate women, or are so keen to promote a male rights agenda that they are compelled to jump on to threads interrupting women supporting other women, minimising male bad behaviour, blaming the woman for her plight, and countering with stories of women who are allegedly just as bad or worse. These people have plenty of places where they could gather a consensus on line. But that's not enough. They want to come to a forum where by the sheer nature of the number of women seeking advice, there's going to be discussions that reveal men in a poor light, and use it as a vehicle to push their own agenda.

I'm not surprised at this. There was a thread on here ages ago with some really interesting studies linked. Basically, men work together much better than women, and a woman/man combo will collaborate better than two women.

Another Harvard study found that women are reluctant to help other women if they're more senior to them at work. A lot of posters were replying saying that they'd been bullied by other women. I believe it's also been found that men are more sympathetic in accommodating working mothers whilst women in senior roles have more of an expectation that other women 'make the same sacrifices I had to'.

It isn't sexism to state that men are responsible for male violence, which is the vast majority of all violence, whether the victims are women or men.

Race is not remotely similar. Sex is binary, there are men and there are women, and there are statistics demonstrating the behavioural differences. Races are, for a start, demographics that include men and women, so are different types of categories.

But calling men (even 'the good ones') 'parasites' isn't quite the same as just mentioning they commit male violence.

You couldn't get away with calling other demographic/protected characteristic in the same way. I reckon there'd be outrage if a man referred to women as 'parasites' for not working as much as men and prioritising earnings in a partner.

Do you really think men don't call women parasites? Especially the MRA types you're busy parroting?

I'm absolutely a feminist. But at the same time I don't hate all men. I'm married to one for a start.
That's not what feminism is about, surely?!!
I refuse to tar all men with the same brush.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Well, I've not seen it. I've just seen women saying it on here.

Well exactly. Men say terrible things about women...I really don't think we need to tell women to be nicer about them.

Exactly my sentiments. Hating a group just because of a characteristic they were born with is the definition of bigotry. Because nobody is saying they only hate violent men. They're saying they hate men as a group due to the violent minority.

It's like hating all women because as a group they commit the majority of child abuse.

Because the experienced women on here recognize that if a poster has posted on here, it’s because they have a partner they can’t resolve things with in real life. And that’s not a good sign.

Because posters here have the experience to recognize that the one incident posted here is likely the tip of a huge heap of shit.

Because in real life women trivialize and normalize shit behaviour by saying ‘men, what are the like!’ When their friends complain about their partners. And that normalization keeps women in shit relationships.

Mumsnet is a really valuable resource to help women see what is going on in their rejationships with clarity.

There’s nowhere quite like it. It’s really important.

Because nobody is saying they only hate violent men. They're saying they hate men as a group due to the violent minority.

Are they, @MarioIa? Where? Direct quotations, please. (Unless, as the only evidence you're likely find of anyone actually saying this, you go after the victim of trafficking whose hatred and mistrust of men is thoroughly understandable).

But surely even you wouldn't stoop that low.

You can't have read many internet forums, then.

It's fine for people to tell you your opinion is bullshit. It's just not fine for people to tell you you can't hold an opinion, which is not happening here.

What a load of infantile rubbish. You say some posts are, "not nice" OP but in reality many people, likely women are describing relationships where the treatment of the female is not safe, loving or caring. You clearly don't understand that and hopefully you'll never need that.

Men are defo more violent as is generally the case with male mammals. If they hadn't been the human race may not have persisted. However, if you crash your car and need cut out it'll also most likely be a man that saves you. Same if you need open heart surgery or if a nutter tries to chop your door down with an axe in the middle of the night.

And if China and Russia tried to invade us tomorrow we'd be hiding behind the men - if you don't believe me go and read the thread on 'conscription for women' and all the hilarious excuses why women wouldn't be able to stand up and defend their country, even in non-frontline roles. Never have I seen mumsnet posters so desperate to state that a woman's place is at home with the children. 🤣

The biggest advances for women (getting the vote etc) were accomplished when working alongside men in WW1 so it's seems solidarity rather than separatism is the way forward here. Despite all the moaning about men on here, it's clear from the conscription thread that most posters wouldn't be prepared to stand up and defend their weak and elderly like the men usually do.

This quote springs to mind:

'all men are parasites on women, the good ones too. Some women are parasites on men but only the bad ones.'

And I'm assuming you're aware that globally 40% of traffickers are female right? I'm sure you'll say it was the men that made them do it rather than the £££.

The UNODC reports 40% of those convicted of human trafficking globally are female. Female traffickers can be particularly adept at gaining a potential victim’s trust in the recruitment stage of trafficking.

https://www.lovejustice.ngo/blog/ten-facts-about-human-trafficking?hs_amp=true

@WhatsTheProblemSarah Absolutely agree. If, as a "feminist" I hate literally all men, surely that makes me as bad as a man that hates all women?
I know he was referring to race, but what was it Martin Luther King said in his legendary speech? The part about judging people on the content of their character?

"And I'm assuming you're aware that globally 40% of traffickers are female right? I'm sure you'll say it was the men that made them do it rather than the £££."

@MarioIa you mean the sex industry that only exists because of men? The root cause is still male violence, entitlement and abuse I'm afraid. And I love your cherrypicking, keep it coming.

Your China and Russia argument, again, is ridiculous. Would I "hide" behind the men as I would not be prepared to fight in a war that was created by men, continued by men and funded by men? You bet. I'm not getting involved in their perpetual dick swinging thank you.

@PamPamPamPam - of course. We mustn't (conveniently) forget who the child rapists are.

@MarioIa - ah, so you are low enough to go after someone who bravely posts about such horrendous experiences. I overestimated you.

My error.