To think most women on here hate men

[Tanyahawkes]

Sorry for the rant but I’m noticing a pattern on mn, any post involving a man and a disagreement results in multiple calls of he’s a narcissist, he’s abusing, he’s controlling, leave the bastard!

I’ll admit that a list of posts do involve behaviour that is not nice from dh and dp. So many posts also can be interpreted in many ways too, I just feel like a large number of women jump to the worst conclusion first about a strangers partner, having only one side of a story told in a short version.

for anyone misunderstanding me, if a post says the partner is hurting physically, calling names, cheating, putting the op down, then yes I agree, ltb (so long as the post is true) it’s when a post says “great relationship, today partner upset me and we couldn’t see eye to eye” and everyone calls the poor guy a narcissist etc

Men are more likely to choose a more violent method than women.
More women attempt suicide.
There’s a theory I was discussing recently (don’t read on if you find suicide triggering) with a friend who is a mental health worker that suggests that women, even in the depths of suicidal depression, still put other people’s feelings ahead of their own, as they are conditioned to do, and possibly won’t choose more violent methods as they are considering who might find them and how that would affect them.
My friend worked in a hospital with both men and women, and felt that this explained the fact that men complete suicide more than women, even though women attempt at nearly 2 times the rate.

@MarioIa when you say: "It's always been a few powerful men at the top and the rest as cannon fodder. I wouldn't want to have been a man in the trenches during
WW1/WW2 or right now in Ukraine tbh." You do realise that underneath that layer of canon fodder is where women reside in the scheme of things?

Would I rather be the most powerful member of the most disadvantaged group or the least powerful member of the most advantaged? 🤔

We don't hate you sweetie, we just think some of you need to grow up a bit.

Instead of berating women for always thinking the worst of men, maybe you should wonder why?

Women aren't born hating men. We learn to mistrust them through our own experiences of them.

You cannot just make a point like that with no nuance, it's ridiculous.

If he was talking to his mother about how he is struggling with an aspect of his relationship and he needed guidance that's one thing.

If he was talking to his mother and painting his wife to be an ungrateful nutcase (which is often what happens) then that's another.

And again, if he is talking to his friends about his relationship with a degree of respect and sensitivity towards his partner then great. But I have heard how men talk about their partners to each other. I have heard them talk about their partners' bodies, sexual activities, secrets, past issues etc. An old male friend of mine once told me that the only reason he was going to see his fiancée that night was to get a fuck. That is not on.

How many women here have been told about the "crazy ex girlfriend"?

You genuinely have no idea of the way that most men talk about women when women are out of the room. It is often gross and terrifying in equal measure.

Same here. They wouldn't consider me to be a feminist, and if I did complete their poll I would not be able to identify myself as a feminist in accordance with their definition of what a feminist is.

It's always important to question the data.

'Articulate' does not equate to 'abusive'.

If this observation were being made about men, the word would be 'assertive'.
Cf. the number of times language like 'bossy' is used to apply to men as opposed to women.

The language used to describe men and women - even the way in which men and women use language - is different. This has been definitely proven by linguistics, Deborah Cameron, for one.

Language matters.

Idk if most, but I do.
Happened after I hit 42.
I don't hate my husband.
😁

OP

I would disagree with the title, "Most" women hate men and that is not factual, not even on this site, IMHO.
IMO, there is a small group of people that have it in for men for whatever reason and almost always slag of men even without taking in the full story or as it is drip fed.

IMO, some women, just like some men have had such an awful experience with the other sex that for whatever reason, they go anti, the opposite sex. Sadly, the majority will not admit that, but IMO it is what it is

We have a relative. Young lady and people often tell her she is good-looking, compliments from both sexes. However, she will not remarry as she has lost trust in men because she found out that her partner she was to marry, dates set etc, he was a cheat - he begged forgiveness but she rightly so never did. Then she got married a few years later and a few months down the road found out he was having an affair with his ex GF. This young lady does not trust men when it comes to love and had will not go exclusive with any male.

We must keep open minds and when people post here for guidance/etc, I almost always remind them that what others are often saying without thinking, ie LTB, it is easier said than done. Therefore, I rarely say that unless it is blatantly obvious

I'll qualify you comments with the important word, SOME women

I think for me it’s that the older I get the more I realise that nearly all men are parasites on women, the good ones too.

Some women are parasites on men but only the bad ones.

You cannot just make a point like that with no nuance, it's ridiculous
That is exactly my point. The post didn't offer any nuance, certainly to start with, but it didn't stop posters to character assassinate him.

The OP was just angry that he was talking about their arguments with his mum. Something that posters do on MN every day knowing that it could be published nationally but that's absolutely fine!

Absolutely agree, it’s the same sort of thing as racism in my opinion, it’s sexism and yet I’m being accused of being sexist, of being a man etc, yet last I checked 34% of votes are for I’m not being unreasonable, so I’m not the only one who thinks this way

In my opinion a good man is not a parasite against women, a parasite against women is not a good man

Thankyou for your reply, I cannot argue with anything you are saying here at all, your family member must have been so betrayed, that’s an awful thing to do to someone, and for a second person to do the same is just so low

It becomes even more apparent when it comes to finances, sometimes you see posts from a woman that sound q bit bad but then you think, if this was reversed, a woman staying at home with a partner that is the bread winner and the wife controlled the money, they wouldn't call her abusive.

I do agree…I see the advice being very different, depending on whether it’s a man or a woman that did something. I get it that this is primarily a support group for women and it has its value as a site to vent to other women, but it also becomes an echo chamber and I think it’s almost impossible to get a balanced view on a relationship issue.

Would I rather be the most powerful member of the most disadvantaged group or the least powerful member of the most advantaged? 🤔

Hard choice that. You could be the richest woman in the world or a homeless alcoholic male.

I think for me it’s that the older I get the more I realise that nearly all men are parasites on women, the good ones too.

They say a good test of whether you're being a bigot is to apply the statement to another demographic and see if it sounds offensive.

If we said "nearly all jews are parasites on women, the good ones too", do you think this would be deemed an acceptable thing to say? 🤔

Prefacing a rant about men with NAMALT is basically the new "I'm not racist but..." 🤣🤣🤣

I, personally, have never seen 'NAMALT ... BUT ... Man X did a horrible thing to me' used in such a way. Bringing race into a thread like this is low; not to mention inaccurate and offensive to those who deal with racism on a daily basis.

However.

Peppering the threads of victims of abuse and sexual violence with 'NAMALT', as this site routinely does, is something else entirely. I wouldn't be crass enough to compare this with racial discrimination. What it is, beyond doubt, is apologism for male violence. And this raises interesting questions about who precisely stands to gain by keeping the status quo as regards sex-based power and dominance exactly as it is.

If 'Pick Me' women think their staunch support for the partriarchy and apologism for male violence against those strident, bra-burning feminists is going to save them from suffering in some way and at some time at its hands, they're deluding themselves.

This post takes the biscuit as about the weakest protestation I've seen on this thread so far.

And it has stiff competition.

Are the stats of Jew-on-woman violence comparable to the man-on-woman ones?

Well exactly. Nearly 99% of sexual offences are committed by men. If any demographic had a percentage that high, I'd think it worth thinking about at the very least.

Well, if it would be offensive to say it about another demographic then why is it acceptable to say about this demographic? 💡

They say a good test of whether you're being a bigot is to apply the statement to another demographic and see if it sounds offensive.

I think the best test of a statement is whether it is demonstrably true or not. Do you think it’s a good idea for people not to be allowed to make true, statistically accurate statements on the grounds that they might offend people? I don't agree with that poster's statement about most men being parasites on women. But you wouldn't gain much by reversing the statement 'Almost all sexual offences are committed by men' and applying it to women, Jews or anyone else, would you?