To ask how you work and have a child as a single parent? I don’t think I can do this

[Mum2222e]

Everyone is telling me the nursery years are the easiest! I’ve had countless illnesses since mat leave, had to take time off, leave early to pick up if unwell, list goes on.

When they start school, then what? How do you manage a 3:30 pick up? And school holidays?

I honestly don’t know how it’s done. Partner works as a theatre nurse and literally cannot leave work so it’s left to me.

*ex partner

You apply to schools that have breakfast and after school club so you can drop early and pick up late.

School holidays are tricker - annual leave, grandparents, holiday clubs, etc.

The same as other parents, used after school clubs? (Single parent 20 years)

@Octavia64 my annual leave is 24 days and school holidays are over six weeks

@RoseBucket and holidays?

Honestly it's why very few people work full time in my immediate area I think.

Some well paid people have lots of flexitime/holiday/work from home but many jobs in our area are not like that!

Inparactice it often means part time. Work.

her dad will have to share responsibility for school holidays using his leave.
in some ways it’s easier than when you’re together as you’re not trying to also have a holiday together.
the remainder you do holiday clubs if no other options like family on your side or his side.

admittedly it is much easier if you’ve got a flexible employer or can work from home for a bit/take time out for pickups and drop offs.

nursery is easier in terms of holidays but tends to be more sickness.

younger school years can be tough but it will get easier and you will be glad you kept up your work.

make sure her dad pulls his weight as much as he can!

Breakfast Club, after school club, holiday clubs. Being very organised with time.

https://www.savethechildren.org.uk/news/media-centre/press-releases/over-80-percent-of-single-parents-on-uc-unable-to-meet-tougher-r#:~:text=5%20MARCH%202024%20%2D%20Over%2080,Save%20the%20Children%2C%20has%20found.

This is interesting and shows how the new requirement for 30hours is actually unsustainable for single parents.

People in comfy flexible jobs or dual income or high earning have no idea what they're asking of low earning single parents. Or they do and don't care 😕.

My saving grace has been our childminder who does school wrap around and holiday care. Bulletproof childcare is gold dust though.

I have been a single parent since pregnant with my second ( now 8 years old). I had a childminder in early years who would look after my youngest and take eldest to school and pick up. Sadly she retired so now use breakfast an after school club.

School holidays are a mix of my leave/my ex's leave / grandparents and holiday clubs. I do the odd day at home with my kids there now they are older but try not to as they just sit around playing phones etc all day.

The same as everyone else has to in your shoes - breakfast clubs, after school clubs, childminder, flexible work arrangements, holiday clubs ... what did you expect? Or are you suggesting that working and having children can't be done? Because you know it can be ... there have been 6 week summer holidays from school since forever, you surely know this?? It's about very careful planning too - ex partner can help in holidays by taking annual leave from their job. It's what I had to do - no grandparents or family to help.

It's difficult but not impossible.

Not all ex’s will take annual leave for childcare though, mine won’t.

Wrap around care and holiday club, nursery was easier but it’s totally doable.

Are you doing 50/50 shared custody? Your ex should then have them 3 of those weeks.

It's really not okay. Only 6% managed the transition from 16hours requirement to 30.

Its so not okay.

It’s an absolute nightmare to be honest, I can’t find any childcare later then . 5:30pm which has made it almost impossible for me to work. For a while i worked part time in a zero hours contract but they stopped giving me hours after my daughter as in hospital as I wasn’t ‘reliable’ enough.

Currently I work 4 days a week and my 9 yo has to come home alone and wait for my eldest dc (13) to get home. I absolutely hate dc 9 being home on her own and have tried persuading afterschool club to let dc 13 pick them up but they refused saying kids have to be collected by an adult, this means my dc is home alone instead though. It’s infuriating!

childminder who drops off at school and picks up. Use them in the holidays too or breakfast and after school club in combination with holidays clubs.

Morning and after school club at school, sharing childcare with other parents if possible. Eg if you can take some holiday / aren't full time, you have your child and their friend every Monday in the holidays. Your child goes to their house every Friday in the holidays, etc.

Yes autumn I think your experience is sadly more common than the previous replies, as born out by my previous link /research.

So many people assume because their life set up works/they can do it everyone can/should.

What do you mean?

Childminder here too - was much more flexible than nursery and breakfast/ afterschool and she also had provision during the holidays

It's difficult. Are you doing 50:50 with your ex, or are you the RP? Obviously up to him to sort childcare when child is with him.

Combination of:

• holiday clubs - some let you pay more for early start/late finish, e.g. our local one is 10-4 or extended day 7.30 - 6
• any family help you can get.
• Childcare swap with parent of a friend of your child when in school - you look after both kids for a couple of weeks in the holidays and so do they.
• unpaid parental leave, I think you can take one week per year which could do a week of school holidays
• if both you and ex have 6w AL, that's 12 weeks total so covers a good chunk of school holidays.
• You don't say what you do - can you have a shorter day physically at work and catch up on hours after kids in bed from home?

You book them into holiday clubs, swap childcare with friends, use family

Have a look at the article..

What's not okay is the requirement for single parent to work 30 hours instead of the previous 16.

Support is okay, but an expectation and requirement is not. I think the press release shows some of the issues.

And if your ex is a shit who won't help, make sure you get the full amount off him via CMS to at least help you pay for childcare.