Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Shock horror! Children have different bedtimes to other children.

My kids (1 and 3) are never in bed and asleep by 7.

But if they fall asleep in their dinner because we're running late or scream because they're overtired and need to go to bed, it doesn't matter because we're at home and the only person impacted by it is me.

A baby crying in a restaurant for an hour isn't being parented.

It's also the case that the market decides, five people in a family probably spend 2x what you spend as a couple, the restaurant is free to have a child-free policy, as we are informed they are also free to have a laptop free policy, if it works for them! It clearly doesn't, which is why children are allowed.

Yeah, it's just the free market. Venues have legal obligations they must adhere to but beyond that, they get to decide which clientele they want to aim at. It isn't complicated.

I understand being annoyed at the behaviour of people who the venue has chosen to admit. But that argument is stronger when not muddied by a misplaced sense of entitlement.

MN loves to tell people that object to screaming/running children that they’re BU for going somewhere that’s “family friendly” and if they want to avoid it, they need to go to an expensive fine dining restaurant.

Shockingly, when OP posts complaining about screaming kids in a fine dining restaurant, MN tells them off for not being inclusive of children, who should be allowed anywhere.

And then they wonder why adults are intolerant - there are basically no adult-only spaces anymore as parents have apparently been given a divine right to turn everywhere into a soft play and we’ve all got to lump it or they’ll never learn how to use cutlery.

YANBU OP but this is MN so of course you’re wrong.

I also want to point out that there are plenty of "no kids after x" restaurants, as well as adult only all day restaurants. It's something I found out shortly after becoming a mother and wanting to book the occasional restaurant as a family. So I seriously recommend booking at those if you can't abide children on your fancy meal out.

FWIW I avoid restaurants that allow dogs but I wouldn't moan about dogs in a dog friendly pub obviously 🙄

So, from the description given by the OP you have somehow gauged that this was a child friendly restaurant? OK.... an interesting interpretation. So we will add 'lacks basic comprehension' to the list!

So they can ruin it for everyone else.

Restaurants etc need to start having adult only times if they won't ban children outright.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday after 8pm in restaurants that choose it and all pubs/drinking establishments sounds fair.

Was it a hotel restaurant? we have had DD7 out quite late when away and staying at a hotel even if we would normally book much earlier. Evening meal service often doesn’t start till 7 so that’s when we eat when away. If it’s a hotel with family rooms or a restaurant with high chairs then I’d expect DC to be present.

It’s really for the restaurant to say no young children if they think children would spoil the atmosphere. I mean they clearly have high chairs so are not bothered.

Although I would be annoyed like you, it’s a dinning experience at that price. So makes no sense to have small kids there.

@JosiePosey sounds good enough for me!

One of the worst things IMO about this country is that places aren't child-friendly in the evening, and people like you are rude about children (had to laugh at mum telling you to f off, she's paid, the same as you!)

Apparently is much better than when I was a child according to my parents.

However I think that tolerance is declining when so many parents don't stop or take outside screaming kids - because everyone else in that restaurant paying for their meals had a worse time due to that and at a time and venue that doesn't suggest child friendly to most people.

I used to take mine out in the evenings as the buggers never slept. We made sure they behaved well when out in restaurants etc. It's not the law that children have to be in bed by 7 you know. Some keep later hours

I wouldn't enjoy a meal out with my kid crying, let alone expect everyone around me to. I avoided restaurants with them as much as possible and they would definitely be tired by that time. They go to bed by 8:00 generally because they have to be up at 7:00 for preschool etc during the week so that's their usual schedule. I think that's pretty normal.

Everyone's at fault here -

Restaurant - I don't think an exclusive place charging £150 a head should allow babies and toddlers in the evening.

Parents - shouldn't be allowing their children to disrupt other guests in a restaurant. Perhaps shouldn't be taking them out so late as they are likely to be cranky and tired, but that's also just individual/ cultural differences.

You - should have checked the restaurant website/ policy on children.

Once or twice a month we take our children to a 'nice' restaurant, typically costs us £180(ish) a head for adults. We do book early at around 5/6, but have three/four courses.

My son who is 8 enjoys it, has a book if he gets bored, my 18 month old is great also, if she did scream I'd take her out to calm down.

The issue is not the time, it's the leaving them to scream.

For the poster who seems to think children should only eat in Toby Carveries, we would never dream of going somewhere like that. Thank Christ that having children hasn't banished me to the dark, dingy, sticky corner of a Toby Carvery.

It is good for children to get used to eating in nice places (if that's what the adults so wish, different horses etcetc) but their behaviour does have to be managed.

Omg no way! So people parent differently to you. Incredible!

This notion of an early bedtime is very much a Western European concept. There’s no right way or wrong way of doing things. Everyone parents in a way that works for their family.

Your use of the word babies seems to cover several years of age.

Well done though on getting your children when they were actually babies to go to bed and sleep from 7pm on the dot.

Amazing 🤩 🤩🤩

There are children in the restaurant..they allowed them to book on.. they provide high chairs. I think you should work on your comprehension ;).
Seriously though, try unclenching a bit, you might find you’re a bit happier in life.

Completely inappropriate. Nobody has any idea how to behave anymore.
They think people want to tolerate their noisy children wherever they go. .if I go out for an expensive and late meal like that I don't expect to listen to children shrieking.
I could have taken DS as he was always very well behaved but I wouldn't have dreamt of it. I'd have booked a baby sitter.

At least two families with children and the restaurant provides a high chair….sounds like children are indeed welcome!

I completely agree with you. A nice restaurant on a Saturday night isn't a place for kids!
To many entitled parents who won't adjust their lives when they have kids. Stay at home or get a baby sitter.

@MidnightPatrol

Someone paid 150 quid to feed a 3 year old?! I'd tell the restaurant that charging that much and allowing kids is just not compatible. I'm not paying 150 quid for a nice meal with toddlers and babies crying.

£150 per head including wine is pretty easy to spend nowadays on dinner with wine.

£20 that is service charge.

£130 of food / drink bottle of wine can start at £60.
I don't recommend feeding 3 year olds wine with their dinner

End of the day if a restaurant

• accepts bookings that include children
• provides high chairs
• has a children's menu

And you want an 'exclusive' 'adult-only' then you've booked the wrong place

“as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.” Charming.

Oh come on- read the post. It’s not “spending time with your kids” when the kids are screaming, crying, falling asleep is it! Basically it’s selfish parenting.