Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

I took my son to reasurants where there was no children's menu. He ate what i ate

Yes it's selfish, end of. Why make your kids and everyone around you miserable?

If the restaurant allows children at that time the it is you that is being unreasonable. If you managed to look in a way that caused a mum to tell you to fuck off then you were out of line.

If you want to eat places without children go to places that do not allow children or don't allow children after a certain time.

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, maybe it was their first time trying this type of thing & usually the kids are golden etc etc. and it was a learning curve that unfortunately was at the expense of your meal ambience?

We once tried dinner on holiday with a 12mo thinking he'd sleep in his buggy - it was a disaster. I was very embarrassed because it was a shit parenting move, I spent most the time outside with an overtired baby while DH ate alone inside... we didn't do that again for a long while.

I don't disagree that posh meals are not the place for very young kids but by the end of the meal, this mum knew her kids had been a PITA. Gesturing & making sure she knew she had upset you was unnecessary.

Lol calm down, it’s really not worth getting this worked up over a mumsnet thread. As I’ve said previously, I wouldn’t let my children disturb other diners, they would be colouring and I’d take the toddler out if she got grumpy. But there is nothing wrong with children being out at 7pm, this is a normal dinner time for many families. Children exist, and are allowed in spaces too.

I think her reaction suggests that she didn't care her kid had been a PITA.

It wasn't 7pm though, was it?

Completely calm to be honest. Not sure why you think I am getting worked up because I am aghast at your ignorant and entitled attitude to parenting? Maybe it is a useful distraction for you as you seem to lack the grace and aptitude to be a considerate parent. Happy to help.

Oh how classy that potty mouth mother is. Wonder what he kid’s first word will be

I used to take mine out at that time. They didn’t fall asleep, were quiet and engaged as we would take activities for them. We didn’t have any childcare or support.
if they are falling asleep they probably should be in bed though.

If the kids were that noisy you should have complained and children can fall asleep at any time of the day . A few years ago we were in one of the restaurants in Harrods and a little boy , who looked about 2 , fell asleep and fell off his chair at about 2 in the afternoon .

If they accept children, it’s not a quiet intimate adult spot. The mother had the correct response to you. I’d of had the same even if I didn’t have my daughter with me and I heard you saying that about another.

Find a restaurant that’s adults only, and book a later dinner if not.

This whole notion of babies being in bed and asleep by 7 is bullshit. I don’t know anyone who manages that.

Yes! Pre kids I always ate at 830/9! Growing up it was 8.30 as normal. Now kids are small we eat more like 7/730, but if I was going out kid free I would like later.
I do agree though that eating earlier is miles better for the metabolism. I used to eat breakfast at 730/8ish lunch quite late at 130/2, then dinner 830/9

I think that some parents need to be told that £150 a meal with wine place is not suitable for babies and small children. To me a restaurant at that price point is for adults. Along with this the poster here probably went to that place for an event or celebration.
One of my friends has a child with autism. When her and I go out for a meal at lunchtime I bring her to a nice restaurant. One day we were in a local restaurant and sitting upstairs. Next thing a baby started crying and 20 mins later was still doing this. My friend even said to me would that child's mother or father bring them outside for a while and not disrupt every one else.
I felt sorry for my friend that day because it was hard for her to have some child free time.

I have a lot of family and friends with children. When there kids were small it was a case of getting a babysitter or get a takeaway to have at home. When the kids got beyond the baby stage they bring them to more family friendly places for meals. When they were in their teens they went to more adult places for a celebration.

One of the worst things IMO about this country is that places aren't child-friendly in the evening, and people like you are rude about children (had to laugh at mum telling you to f off, she's paid, the same as you!)

Our towns and cities are full of drunk people after about 7 and are almost no-go areas, unlike in Europe where families walk together in the evenings, and dine out with older, younger, family members. The more you do this, the less it's a big deal for the children. Mine were terrible at it as they weren't used to staying up late!

If you only want childless couples, people who can afford a babysitter and dinner in a CoL crisis (so more restaurants closing) and drunk yobs populating city centres after 7pm, carry on. I'd like to see more family friendly and nicer environments in the evening, and children being welcome are part of that.

A rude gesture and "fuck off" is not the correct response ever, particularly not when your toddler has been ruining everyone's enjoyment of their meal for the last hour.

To me a restaurant at that price point is for adults.

But to the people who run it, clearly it isn't. Hence the multiple small children and the provision of highchairs. It's them who get to decide.

That mum paid for her own meal, not for everyone else's, which were spoiled by her annoying child.

You’re hilarious, and you do sound very angry, sorry. You’re also not actually reading my posts and just sticking with ‘YOU’RE ENTITLED’, as that is what you want to believe. I say again - there is nothing wrong with taking children out to a kid friendly restaurant, at dinner time. Think about it.

That's a matter of opinion.

It's also the case that the market decides, five people in a family probably spend 2x what you spend as a couple, the restaurant is free to have a child-free policy, as we are informed they are also free to have a laptop free policy, if it works for them! It clearly doesn't, which is why children are allowed.

I don't even have young children anymore, but I find the huffing and puffing of the older people at children noisier and more attention seeking than the children, this is what happened last time we went out, with their 'loud' sighs and moaning, they didn't even bother having any other conversation amongst themselves!

OK so we eat breakfast at 7am, "dinner" at 12 noon and "tea" at 5:30/6. Life's rich tapestry! :-)

We often go on holiday in Spain though and eat later then of course. The late evening restaurant culture there is lovely :-)

I second what the mum said to you in the restaurant. I don't understand why people can no longer tolerate children.

Stop judging other people's parenting!

This whole notion of babies being in bed and asleep by 7 is bullshit. I don’t know anyone who manages that.

Hello @Elphamouche 👏

I managed it 95% of the time with 2 children for about 7 years.

I didn't take them out to dinner in the evenings you see 😉