Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

My 9 year old really didn't like it on Sunday when a child aged around 5, a few tables over, was constantly screaming for fun at lunch. It was getting to the point where I thought I was going to have to say something, but thankfully they quietened down once their food arrived.

It's not just adults that are bothered by screaming children.

Also no manners.

I have some sympathy OP. I've eaten out with my kids at nice restaurants at lunchtime or less fancy places for dinner but not £150 kind of restaurants at dinner time. I don't at all think children should be hidden away but I remember spending a small fortune on babysitters for an anniversary meal with my husband when my kids were tiny and a couple with a 10ish month old seated next to us. I was gutted because they obviously totally changed the atmosphere and I felt we'd wasted the money on babysitters.

Be interesting to see how the answers differ if I said:

I like to take my kids to the local working men's club. We enjoy a drink and like to stay out til after 9.
People keep tutting at my baby slumped in the high chair but he's fine. This week a woman a gestured at me rudely so I told her to fuck off.
Why shouldn't I enjoy my time there and get the kids used to it. It's good for them to be in adult spaces. AIBU?

Any decent parent knows that young children/infants become over tired and over stimulated by 7pm/7.30pm. They need to be having a bath, pyjamas and bottle, and calming down for bed. It is evident that you either lack knowledge of this (ignorant) or you simply don't care (entitled). Which one is it?

I think taking a newborn to a restaurant at that time is fine as they mostly sleep and drink milk anyway and I remember most meals with my baby were fairly chilled if she was asleep in her pram! Anything from 6+ onwards can get trickier and tbh i personally wouldnt judge any parent for taking their well behaved baby or toddler to a restaurant regardless of what time it is. My personal feeling is that babies and toddlers who are clearly miserable at restaurants should be at home by that time of night in their own space ready to wind down for the day and ready for bed soon.. maybe the children really didnt want to be there and were tired and cranky and i dont blame them! That being said if it was a one off for a nice occasion then dining out at that time I would try to make an exception for. No judgment on bedtime though because everyone is different but mostly in agreement with restaurants and young children not being a good idea at that time.

many saying children have as much right to be in a restaurant blah blah (which I agree with) we’re on here t he out day saying it was terrible that a woman shouted “SHUT UP!” at there table to a couple of friends she was sick listening to having a debate. Apparently she was very rude and it was inappropriate to shout that, yea, children have a right to be there. But diners have a right to eat their meal without listing to screaming, bawling and crying! Make your minds up!

No. This is a very British view (and dated luckily). Not shared with the rest of the world. Are you saying that everyone else in the world is doing it wrong then? How entitled and incredibly ignorant of you. And I won’t ask you which one it is, as clearly it’s both ;)

And most children sleep at home during the day on the continent. Just because you do not think every restaurant, bar or theatre should allow children doesn't mean you hate children.

With so many school children struggling to stay awake in reception or year 1 and the afternoon decline in behaviour many teachers would disagree with you.

I am completely 100% with you.
the entitlement and selfishness is truly shocking and ruins what should be a great evening out.
those people saying that children deserve to be there as much as you are probably the same people who let their children watch iPads at full volume.
I have asked to move several times in restaurants in the evening when there’s an overtired toddler on the next table.
its not the fault of the children, it’s the parents who seem oblivious to the disruption their little cherubs cause.

Please tell me where you are so I can avoid your overtired, over stimulated and noisy infants (and get some orignality in your prose at the same time )

Absolutely it’s very British view and I’ve I as a very decent knowledgeable and non entitled parent never adhered to.

No I didn’t take my son out to restaurants late at night in the UK but did on many occasions abroad.

I would say it’s a very outdated view to be do rigid but even back when I was a baby in the late 60’s I was never put to bed until late.

There's rich families about. Even if the baby was free and the toddler 1/2 price, wow.

But I don't think babies should be in bed particularly, mine never were, I just didn't have a £400+ budge for dinner

Well I can only say that my young children were very tired and needed their bed by 7.30pm, with very obvious physical and emotional signals of tiredness. I think it is selfish on others and the child to take them out at this time.

Them's the figures. I'm sure some children don't get the sleep they need but not all children need to sleep 7-7. It's about learning what works for your child and rolling with it.

I never took my kids out to restaurants when they were little as they would fuss and cry and I knew I would be negatively impacting those around us. But f it was a family restaurant I guess that’s fair enough, but fine dining - that’s ridiculous. To my mind it’s selfishness.

My son is can adult now and he made it through just fine.

Im from a Mediterranean family and they laugh at the rigid and outdated way kids are treated in the UK.

As I said I never took my son out late in the UK - but 7/8 pm in a family friendly restaurant isn’t late imo and there were plenty of other families doing the same from what I recall.

Visiting family abroad children are out til the early hours and they all survive so no it’s not selfish on the kids at all

It was a joke you nit wit. You have done a pretty good job of engaging with a deranged person so says a lot about you.

No shit 🤣

100% different strokes work for different strokes.

I can’t bear this rigid ‘I’m right you’re wrong my way is the only correct way and if you disagree you’re selfish and entitled’ po faced attitude so many have in the UK.

People seem to have the perception that your life shouldn’t change when you have children.
however in situations such as this they are actually putting their needs before their children’s whilst believing they are model parents for allowing their children to attend fine dining restaurants.
the children don’t care at that age if they are at the Ivy or at home.
what they care and need is for a parent to understand their cries and unhappiness and react correctly to it.
that doesn’t matter what time of the day it is.