Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

It's so true, the unkindness to women and children is very much everywhere and sometimes I feel like it's getting worse with aggressively child free becoming a thing.

A few years ago I boarded a plane just behind my husband and was wondering why he turned around and was grinning at me...when he moved I saw that I was seated next to a mum and baby, he said my face completely lit up!

It was a bigger baby, must have been about 10 months, you know when they are just brilliant, little personalities coming through. I was mum's willing hands for the 4 hour flight, when you just realise you only have two and can't make a bottle with a wriggly baby! 😂Not only did I get to hold and play with the baby, but mum even passed him over the aisle for my husband to have a go, best flight of my life :)

I would have told you to F off too. It's not up to you when people put their children to bed. You were very nasty to start pointing at the family. Who do you think you are exactly? Want a child free experience? Search for an adult only restaurant 🙄

God, the entitlement of people on here who think everyone should have to put up with their kids all the time. This is why I'll no longer eat out at expensive places, not until they enforce a sensible no children policy.

I'm with you OP. I'd expect older, well behaved children if any, maybe a young baby.

My kids weren't necessarily asleep by then but they were at home in a bedtime routine unless it was a wedding etc. There's nothing wrong with taking kids out for dinner but this wasn't the right time or place. At that age mine would have been fine for a quick pub dinner somewhere casual at 5/6pm, or lunchtime. It was pretty hit and miss whether it would work well, and we worked hard to keep them entertained and happy and comfortable so they didn't disturb others! It was never relaxing and I wouldn't have bothered with anywhere really nice because our focus would be on the kids.

I imagine the parents had had success with meals out in the past and misjudged it - or maybe babysitting fell through at the last minute and it was the best option to come together.

Hi op, if you don't like children, maybe you should stay home and then you can never encounter one.

😂😂 why because I don’t like nasty judgemental gesticulating snobs?

Good for you! Enjoy your microwave meal at home.

I agree with you OP. The sense of entitlement of some of the people on this thread is astonishing.

Totally agree. Young children of the age referenced in the OP should be settling into their sleep/bath routine between 7.30 and 8pm, not out stimulating their senses in a restaurant setting. It is common sense but in the words of Voltaire - 'Common sense isn't that common'.

Bouncing off the walls? What are you talking about. What exactly is the difference between my toddler sleeping 9-730am rather than 7pm-530am? I’d love to know.
And a 6 year old needs 10-12 hours so they’re getting plenty (and most importantly, enough for them, rather than being forced into bed at 7 and lying awake for hours!).
And yes we do live next to the school!

A regular sleep schedule can be 9pm-7am though. Or anytime that works for the family.
I did indeed read the op, and many other comments, which indicate many posters don’t believe children should be in restaurants after 7 at all.

Your best bet op?

1. Review the restaurant online and mention young children being allowed well into the evening sitting. This allows diners to choose to avoid places that allow this.

1. Feedback to the restaurant that allowing young children during the evening sitting was extremely off putting and that you would not eat there again under those circumstances.

Restaurants need to know when this is not the preference of most of their customers.

We leave for school at 845am, so getting up at 7.30 gives plenty of time. We even have time for a cuddle and chat in bed.

Agreed OP, I think it’s odd to take kids out that late to a posh restaurant. My DD is 6 months and the latest we go out for an early tea is around 4ish, and only to a chain type place like Wagamama/Pizza Hut.

A nine month old baby should be settling into sleep by 7.30pm not out being stimulated in restaurant setting, crying and disturbing other diners. It is not the baby's fault of course, it is due to the parent's not understanding (or caring) about what is in their infants' best interests and what benefits society as a whole (not just their entitled selves).

came to write this. I have a baby and a 3 year old and we go out for lunch while the kids are happy or stay at home & order but i wouldn’t enjoy myself either if my kids were tired and unhappy!

All those who are commenting that babies should be in bed by a certain time etc should perhaps consider their own sense of entitlement in thinking other people's lives are only being well-lived if lived by the rules of the writer.

Some people in the U.K. put their children to bed at 7 and consider other people's children (and possibly their own) a nuisance to be shut away before dinner can be enjoyed. Many, many other people, probably the majority worldwide, don't think that way. It is a very British thing to expect children to be seen only at certain times and mostly never heard. If you are part of the group that expects that, find a restaurant that advertises itself in the same way. Thankfully for the rest of us they are fewer and fewer.

I completely agree .

I never took my children out this late , unless it was a big event. It’s far too late to be having dinner at that age .

It does depend on the place - just because I don’t take my children out that late , it doesn’t mean others don’t . So if I was going to a family pub, I would half expect it . But you shouldn’t really at a more exclusive place . I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all .

Why should it be 7.30pm? Do you know the babies sleep schedule? When they napped, when they woke in the morning? I don’t, so I won’t judge the parents. You could also try to stop judging parents based on your own ignorant view.

Torn on this.

I wouldn't have taken my young children into a posh restaurant in the evening and don't love being around screaming kids myself now that mine are getting older.

But on the other hand who is it for you to say what others should and shouldn't do. Children and babies are part of our society so surely should be welcome to eat with their families whether that be at a posh restaurant or anywhere else.

There are plenty of annoying, ignorant, noisy adults, I've had expensive meals ruined on more than one occasion by loud adults either talking loudly non stop or boozy groups shouting and banging tables.

There are no guarantees when you are in a shared public place that you are going to get things how you wish.

Like I say we once had a meal ruined at a top London place because of a noisy pissed full of himself businessman.

Agree with this

It’s ignorant to take small children and babies to an expensive restaurant where people are trying to enjoy an adult meal, probably as a treat.

My babies and most babies i know are getting fussier/overstimulated towards the end of the day so going out just before bedtime to an expensive restaurant is inconsiderate at best.
OP also stated that the baby cried until it fell asleep so it was clearly tired and unhappy. I don’t think OP would‘ve minded happy kids.

Well, @JustMarriedBecca - what we did was to start off in places like Toby carvery or Pizza Hut - places where we knew there would be lots of families, which would have high chairs, where the food would come out quickly, so we weren’t having to wrangle hangry children - and we practised decent manners there, where mistakes would be less noticeable and more forgivable.

Then, as they got older and more reliable, in terms of ‘eating-out manners’, we went to places that weren’t as kiddie/family oriented. It’s a process - you don’t start off at the Ritz, and you don’t just stay at the Toby carvery level forever either.

But I think that there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with taking children to posh/expensive restaurants, per se - what matters is how the parents handle any disruption - doing their best to keep their children’s noise to an acceptable level, not letting them run around or throw things at people, taking them outside if necessary.

I don’t think many people expect children to behave impeccably all the time - mine definitely didn’t - but it isn’t unreasonable to expect a bit of consideration from everyone - I will do my best to be understanding of children’s noise and behaviour, but parents have an equal responsibility to get their children to behave nicely, and suitably for the environment they are in.