Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Yep surprised it registered to be honest....

im with you op fancy restaurant no kids menu-not the place

Your posh restaurant is their regular and it’s no biggie to take the kids. 7.45 is still quite an early sitting.

Not necessarily. In my experience trying to force a bedtime doesn’t work. My children have always gone to bed later, the only reason you think your way is correct is because forums like this and Facebook tell you so.

i have friends who put their children to bed mega early and are woken up mega early, i on the other hand get a lie in on a weekend

what you seem to not realise is that this has a detrimental effect on the restaurants themselves.
ifi went to a high ticket restaurant and had to endure badly parented children, I wouldn’t go back. I would also tell friends so they don’t have the same experience.
Not having access to childcare is not everyone else’s issue.

The only time we ever took a baby out to a restaurant in the evening was when we were away from home and staying in a b&b. It was around baby’s bedtime and we had hoped she’d fall asleep in her pram. Instead she absolutely screamed the place down so we left before ordering and went back to the b & b and sat in the dark until she fell asleep. We went to bed hungry but we’re considerate like that.

Ok and the 9 month old wailing in the OP supports which proposition exactly? Mine or yours?

Cool story 👍

Oh dear..

But if it’s a special occasion and a big deal and outlay for you, and part of that experience is that you don’t want children there- then surely you choose a child free restaurant?!

I really can’t understand going to somewhere where you know kids go, knowing how kids behave, and then being aggrieved when an entirely forceable outcome occurs.

Sometimes parents should put their needs before their children’s. That everything needs to be child-centred is a modern phenomenon.

No wonder people are having less kids - so much pressure!

Anyway, The Ivy is very child friendly and their menu is largely nursery food anyway so ideal for that audience!

Im responding to your comment that decent parents put their children to bed early. that is clearly not true.

we only have Mrs grumpy entitled OPs word that the 9 month old was this way, she saw a snapshot, she is painting g a picture to support her narrative against families.

Yup, as is the entitlement of those who think dragging kids to a smart restaurant is a decent thing to do.

In all honestly how many restaurants actually advertise that they are not child friendly?
one did in my home town recently and the backlash was insane.
a nice fine dining restaurant in the evening on a weekend would normally be considered as not child appropriate

Those quoting cultural differences . It is a british thing to eat early and bedtime earlier. People in other cultures eat later and it can be the norm to dine out with children much later. This seems to be the case whenever I have holidayed in Mediterranean countries who have a siesta ,with families coming out to eat at 9pm. It's generally not the done thing here, with young kids being overtired by this time. I bet most of the adults weren't thrilled at seeing a young family rock up just before 8pm at a fancy restaurant. However, I do think pointing at the family was rude so I can understand how she reacted in defence.

Ok I guess you're another one that lets your infants out past 9 regardless of their tiredness levels and classifies adults who don't like being disturbed by tired and upset kids as "grumpy". How enlightened you are.

YANBU.

If you want to take your kids out to a fancy restaurant, that’s ok providing the parents ensure that their offspring don’t disturb the other diners.

Far too many entitled parents around who don’t give a fig about anyone else.

Oh come on, putting your needs before that of a 9 month old who is 100% reliant on you isn’t about modern behaviour it’s fulfilling your role as a care giver!

The onus is on the person who causes the issue to find the solution, not the person who's inconvenienced by it.

If your kids (not you-you, you-general) can't behave properly in a restaurant, and can not attend a dinner without making it an unpleasant experience for other diners, then they shouldn't be there in the first place. It's really that simple.

They are sitting in a restaurant with their parents, not starving and covered in bruises in a crack den.

Please do try and have some perspective.

It isn’t somewhere I’d take mine, but other people think differently…

so if it was a big deal to me I’d put the effort in to find somewhere child free or I wouldn’t go and waste the money on an experience I know might get spoiled.

Where are all these child free restaurants that people think exist?

Totally agree OP, completely inappropriate place for children

Yeah, but they are. People SHOULDN’T do all sorts of things, but the do.

If you want to avoid a certain situation (in this case wasting money on a dinner that you didn’t fully enjoy because of kids being loud)- the fact is that you have to be the one to put the effort in to avoid it.

Clearly the restaurant has decided there is more money in allowing kids than in banning them, so there is nothing else you can practically do.

Try googling it.