Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Erm not when it's £150 per head they aint.

Absolutely ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

There is a coffee shop / casual restaurant locally that had a gorgeous toddler and parents in it.

Not an I pad in sight
Parents were interacting quietly with the beautifully behaved toddler- we were there a good two hours- as was Toddler family
Little tot was drawing and ate so well - a very lucky child to have two obviously caring parents.

There are some lovely children about- it’s how they are raised a lot of the time.

Its not welcoming the children that is the issue per se, although if you are paying for a very expensive meal presumably you want to really enjoy it, which is hard if you have demanding children. The reason people may not like to see children in fine dining places is the fuckwit parents who are happy to encourage their children to listen loudly to electronics with no headphones, run around, shout or whine. I went for an expensive lunch a year or so ago. Lovely place, except the parents at the table next to us who did not take the screaming baby outside, and allowed the older child to sing the same line of a song over and over again at the top of her voice. As someone said upthread, just because you can tune out the noise of your noisy children, does not mean you should impose it on everyone else. And unfortunately, there are too many shit parents out there, so responsible ones are tarred with the same brush.

The issue complained about on MN is very rarely restaurants like this though either. People make out it is, but then a baby seat is magically there.

The issue is a lack of parenting and engaging with your family. And that's at the low and mid range level anyway. And there's no excuse for the lack of looking after your children there either.

It's just an anti-children attitude. It should be an anti-shit parenting issue. Shit parenting DOES NOT equate with having a child awake after a certain time either though.

I agree that babies should be in bed, but not because it will disturb you OP but simply because I think it’s important to have routine and little ones get a good nights sleep.

But there's no need for that routine to be this modern Western 7pm come what may crap.

If the parents are happy to pay that for the children, they do.

Anyone within the rules of the establishment, who pays their bill has a ‘right’ to be there- there isn’t another criterion for attendance, as much as you might like there to be.

That doesn’t have to be 7pm-5am though does it. 9pm -7am is just as good.

We used to eat out when DD was little, but it was early evening in one of the local pubs and I used to bring colouring books and pencils for her (she pre-dates iPads and smartphones).

Except it wasn’t a quiet intimate adult location as clearly children were there.

i don’t agree kids are not allowed out past 7pm and I think you’re unreasonable making obvious comments and gestures.

i do think children need to be taught to behave appropriately in these circumstances and if disturbing people then should be taken out.

Yep. This. And this makes more sense because it fits parents lives and sleeps patterns too!

It's the whole trying to get rid of children in the evening for adults time mentality that's awful.

The reason you are shitty and hate your kids and want rid of them by 7pm is precisely because you've stayed up til 'normal adult time' and then got up at 5 frikkin am.

Why anyone thinks this is sane is beyond me.

Or even 11 til 9 when mine was a baby. I’m not a morning person anyway and I’m having a lay in for the year I don’t have to get up for work.

What on earth are you talking about? Who is 'shitty' and who exactly hates their kids?

I'd be pissd off op. Don't mind children but wailing children while I'm eating, nope.

Hmm was this in a hotel abroad? I can't imagine many high end restaurant in UK where babies would routinely be taken

Management is responsible for maintaining the ambiance of the restaurant. I would have requested to speak to them immediately and let them deal with the problem. Having someone's children spoil your night out is not acceptable. The parent should have taken the child outside until child had calmed down.

Haha. I really have hit a nerve haven’t I? Calm down. I don’t think it’s me with the chip! Me and my ‘entitled’ 4 month old are off to a nice restaurant tonight, so you’d better put your pearls on to clutch!

No wonder kids are bouncing off the walls and running like hamsters on a wheel it's too late ....do you live next to school or not eat breakfast how can a child get up have a tooth brush and wipe down get dressed eat breakfast and be at school ready to go by 9.50 ....sleep is a habit you teach your child they do not collapse unless over tiered.

I've got two pre schoolers and I wouldn't have them out at a restaurant at that time, unless it was a very special occasion or a really family friendly place with kids entertainment.

It's just miserable for everyone? They're not built for it and their behaviour gets sillier the more tired they are. I do have sympathy for parents with no one available to babysit, I guess you would just think fuck it eventually and risk but it's not really going to work.

This does seem to be a way to keep children well occupied.
Much better than iPads

As a child , parents took me around Europe and restaurants were often used- I remember being really tired as a child but was allowed to read a book while waiting for food to arrive- and no kids meals either!
I was given a HUGE plate of seafood aged 7 in the then Yugoslavia- Thankfully parents didn’t expect me to eat it all 😂

I don't think children shouldn't be in restaurants at all, but I do think they shouldn't be in higher-end restaurants (I couldn't think of a better way to word that, I'm talking about "not a Harvester, somewhere expensive that someone may go for a special date night") if they're not able to behave themselves for the entire duration that they're in there. That means no crying, no shouting, no sudden unpredictable shrieking or squealing, no having to have iPads at the table for distraction, no standing on chairs, no having to be walked or pushed around the restaurant. Talking normally and politely with their parents? Fine, if they're old enough to do that.

If they can't do that, then they need to be at a family-friendly place.

I include my own in that, by the way.

I'm not really sure how to vote. One the one hand, when my DC were little we didn't really have crazy early bedtimes but didn't bring them to places that leaned adult before they were ready. A few exceptions, when invited for larger events when my DD was the only child there...in those cases, it was easier to plan, we could leave if needed, and the more people there made it easier if she was louder as the chatting, laughing adults weren't any quieter than her. She also wasn't a screamer or nor ever had tantrums.

That being said, once, my youngest who was average behaved in public, had a massive stink in a quiet restaurant at an age where she was too old really (she was 6). Turns out, she had a rising fever and was becoming really sick, so that behavior was a precursor to illness. I was utterly embarrassed though because she'd been so good before, but I should have known not to bring her her until she was a bit older. Mea culpa.

The time is the issue, had they turned up about 6pm it probably would have been fine , but turning up to a restaurant at 7.45pm with young kids is just silly. Tired children in restaurants rarely ends well.

Did you not read the OP then?????? Which was precisely about the subject of children wailing and disturbing others in a restaurant. Any half decent parent knows that this is the time when young children need to settle into their sleep routine as they are naturally tired if they are on a regular sleep schedule. Why anyone thinks it is a good idea to drag them out to a restaurant at this time is lunacy, as it will stimulate their minds and senses. Let alone the detrimental impact on others. But in fine Mumsnet tradition - 'you do you'.