Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Agree with this. My DS is now an adult but I never did the early bedtime. 7pm is late afternoon in our world.

However I also only took him to family friendly places in the Uk for meals as I feel adults deserve places where they can be away from other peoples kids.

Abroad was different as most places we visited were outdoor or semi open restaurants and families were there eating out until all hours. In the Med seeing young kids out at 11pm is standard

You did say that. It isn't a Tui package deal so you’re wrong and jealous. You’re a nasty, entitled piece of work. You’ve purposely misunderstood my posts. You’ll be the roughneck in the restaurant with the entitled kids ruining everyone else’s evening. You’ve a massive chip on your shoulder.

Well, obviously. I would be amazed if anyone (other than @Oranitle) read my post to mean that children couldn't talk in the same way as adults do. There is a pretty evident difference between making ordinary conversation and children making a noise.

I was just thinking that 🤣

Delivery is perfect for OP. Can stay at home with your intolerance. I do laugh tho, at you thinking you were a perfect parent!

You just sound very much like one of those ‘children should be seen but not heard’ types.

You can tell which are the entitled parents on this thread.

"Gold standard" of parenting 😉. Holy grail, apparently. The rest of us need to pull our socks up and stop having illicit evening fun with our kids.

Maybe it's time for a National Bedtime. 7pm for kids and 10pm for adults, unless you have a work dispensation.

How is that depressing? Presumably the poster had lovely adult evenings with her husband, and arranged babysitters when they went out. Sounds great to me.

My theory is that the pains and frustrations of parenthood come as such a shock to some people that they take grim pleasure in sharing it with complete strangers.

"Have some of that, fellow coffee drinkers and restaurant-goers. See me ignoring my screaming child. Horrible, isn't it? Welcome to my life.

"And you're not gonna do or say anything, are you, cos you know I lost the plot a while back. And now I'm waaaay beyond your tuts, looks and raised eyebrows. You know I'm gonna brazen it out. Go on, make one tiny gesture of disapproval - I'd love the excuse to go for you, with all the pent-up rage of my shitty situation. Even if I am a crumbling mess inside."

It's a cry for help really.

*What makes something a "fine dining establishment" as opposed to family friendly? If there are high chairs available, surely that would suggest the management are expecting to cater for young children on occasion.

Just because a customer thinks they're paying over the odds for a meal doesn't give them the right to reclassify the experience as not suitable for children.*

Family friendly - most places, places with high chairs on display, play areas, etc etc.

Fine dining - stars, rosettes, tasting menus, white glove service, having their own sommelier, paying in the region of 100 for a typical lunch w/o booze. Its pretty obvious when you are at one.

£150 per head including wine is pretty easy to spend nowadays on dinner with wine.

Erm, no it isn't. We don't all live in London or other expensive cities. We don't eat in chain restaurants either, but that is not typical of what you would pay for a meal round here in the more upmarket eating places.

The thing is, no one would care about there being children in the restaurant if the children were well behaved. It's when they scream and cry that it's a problem.

I wish that were the case, but I remember some people being very intolerant of other people's children in certain pubs and restaurants. Loud and noisy adults were accepted and seemingly went unnoticed, but just the fact that young children were in their space, even if well-behaved, could attract meaningful looks and mutterings and if the child said one loud thing (and was usually shushed) glaring at them.. And I'm not talking about this attitude towards my own children. My youngest is 20 now, so hopefully this kind of attitude has diminished.

Surely babies and toddlers need at least twelve hours sleep so if they’re not having a nap they need to be in bed by 7pm.

I’d never have taken my DC out at that time but it would primarily be for their sakes and my own. I’m selfish you see. However, I don’t particularly care what others choose to do and don’t mind babies and toddlers being around because they’re cute.

Nope. Very happy for children to be heard. I've had many an enjoyable evening out with my children chatting about anything and everything. I'm just not happy for children to be screaming for ages (which, after all, demonstrates that they're not happy) or shouting and running around if it means destroying the experience of other people who have gone out for a meal.

It’s just entitlement and lack of respect for others OP. Nowadays parents think they have a right to have crying, screaming or moaning children anywhere for however long as because they personally are not disturbed by their own kids, they don’t give a fuck about anyone else. As long as they get their dinner out. You will get your arse handed to you here as 99% of Mumsnet appears to be of this ilk.

😅😂

And definitely no businesses are allowed to offer services to clientele outside the approved times! Highchairs must be locked by 7, or ELSE.

There are many restaurants where we live that have all of the latter and still welcome children. It's often the attitude of the staff rather than the physical "bells and whistles" that matter.

Actually yes it is and I live in rural Aberdeenshire. That would be 2 main meals 2 starters and a bottle of wine

The one and only time I have eaten at a michelin starred restaurant it was stated on the website about children:

We are sorry, but given the time it takes and style of food we don’t feel that our restaurant is suitable for young children. We therefore don’t allow babies, infants or children under 10 in the restaurant.

TBH I'm surprised that someone would take a small child or a baby to a £150 per head resturant because it would be a leisurely meal not a quick bite, and the children would get bored.

Honestly, I've never really wanted to do this. We had a child and like his company. I want to spend time with him. This doesn't mean my relationship with DH is bad. It means we value having a family. What's the fucking point if you just are going to work and doing a bedtime routine? As DS gets older it changes. We'll have plenty of 'grown up time' as he's older. I couldn't stand leaving DS when he was really small. It ruined a night out. That time when they are young is so short and precious. If all you care about is the bedtime bloody routine fuck me. DS has always been an exceptionally well behaved kid as a result. He wasn't a crier. He wanted to soak up everything and was interesting in everything. We engaged with him though. That's the thing for me - the lack of wanting to actually engage with your own kids is a really British thing I hate. There's this adult time and kids time mentality. No family mentality.

Different kids have different needs and capabilities. Ds is 10 and has been up since 3am- we have been out today, he is in a good mood and is happily singing in the shower. He will go to bed about 8:30. Other kids would be exhausted and ratty or have fallen asleep today.

Well great, we’re in agreement then.

I would argue that the person whose children were spoiling a dining experience for an entire restaurant then telling an exasperated diner to fuck off was the rude one lacking in manners.

Posts like yours really make me fear for the future if people genuinely can't show a bit of consideration for others when they're out in public.

You’re probably getting a roasting for this OP but for what it’s worth I agree wholeheartedly and say this as mum to a 4 and 7 year old! We eat out a lot with the children and they have good table manners and can order for themselves and know how to behave in a restaurant HOWEVER they are still in bed at a reasonable for their age time. If we dine out they may stay up late for this but they are still in bed for around 8pm it’s plenty late enough for a 4 year old. It’s selfish horrible behaviour of the parents to keep their children out that late for the adults benefit, it’s a different story if the children seem happy to be there and are enjoying the experience but that clearly wasn’t the case with the crying and falling asleep you mentioned!