Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Well, ‘my love’, don’t you think Mumsnet is probably not the place for you?

Why wouldn't Mumsnet be a place for someone who goes to child free hotels?! Is this akin to asking why child free people are on MN?!
You do realise there are plenty of topics/threads on Mumsnet that have absolutely nada to do with children don't you?

We went to a local pub on Friday. Luckily we were in the garden because inside it was kiddie city; sitting there waving menus about. No thank you.

Take them outside for the 5 minutes then

Thank you. I am a mother. I did not take my children out to ruin the evenings of others. It’s gross entitlement

I hate the British sometimes. Like genuinely. We are arseholes.

I go on holiday to get away from Brits!

It's not hard is it? That's parenting. There's an assumption that you can't communicate with babies and they just cry. You can generally know why your baby is crying. Respond accordingly. Yes take them outside if there's an issue. Not difficult.

Baffled by everyone saying 7.45pm is an early time to eat out! It's absolutely not.

5/5.30 is an early time.

6.30-8 is when most people eat.

I don't know anyone who goes out for tea at 9pm in the UK. Loads of places shut their kitchens then.

I'd be confused seeing young children in a £150 a head posh restaurant. Take them out to a family-oriented pub.

I feel sorry for the businesses who it now seems, by some on this thread, are expected to spell things out to ignorant parents... This is an adult place for adult people. They've got a message on their website saying dogs aren't welcome...are children the next expected message businesses need to be clear on?

Yes obviously.
How on earth are people supposed to know that children aren't welcome if the business doesn't say that it's adults only?

It clearly isn't adults only seeing as they allow kids in and they have high chairs.

Absolutely no reason to feel sorry the business!

There are plenty of family friendly places to go out to dinner. But disrupting a fine dining establishment where people reasonably have the expectation of a peaceful aptmosphere is not on. Parents do not have the right to impost childrens noise everywhere they possibly can.

Which starts with going out and learning. Respect towards others is different from one person to another. Most people on here want to see kids be silent at the table.

You’re assuming all children in restaurants are screaming and crying though. They aren’t. I agree it is unreasonable to allow children to disturb other peoples enjoyment in a restaurant and there is no way I’d allow that. I engage with my children, bring colouring in etc and if they were screaming I would leave. The simple act of bringing a child to a restaurant doesn’t automatically = entitled, as some posters seem to think.
Leaving them screaming and running around at the expense of other diners is a different matter.

Oooo I think I got a bite there! Well, enjoy your very exclusive Caribbean holidays being waited on by local people whilst not socialising with them, I’m sure you really soak up the local culture.

Bed by 7:30? There's no point in trying that with my DC. They are night owls (like me). They get sufficient sleep for school, but it's a fight to get them to actually sleep before 10.

As a result, they generally travel well and love to be outside at night. So we take them out to places at night because we can, and because they enjoy it.

In terms of my culture, yeah, kids are up and out during the night a lot. We certainly don't rush them back to the house simply because bedtime is looming. But if they are fussy/tired/etc, then yeah, we'd go home without fuss. That's the issue here imo.

Then the communicating baby needs to be taken outside.

Well yes, I agree. Although ‘not making noise’? They are allowed to talk you know, much like adults are. Many posters seem to think children shouldn’t be in a restaurant at all, which I don’t agree with.

I’ve been many times and “soaked up” the local culture. What’s that got to do with kids?

Most people on here want to see kids be silent at the table.

I don't think that is what most posters are saying. I think most what babies/kids not to be screaming the place down or running round - and if they are for parents to parent and deal with the situation - not expect everyone else to put up and shut up.

Obviously some don't want kids/babies out at all - that's MN - but most just want consideration from parents.

Then check before you go whether they allow children. There are plenty of child free places.

If you want a space without a certain type of person in it the onus is on you to find one, not just turn up anywhere and then moan because you don’t like it.

Me too. My 3 kids were in bed by 7.30 until they were 10 or 11. Woke up at 7. They needed that sleep and my ex and I had our evenings.

only time they would be out late for dinner was on holiday or a wedding. Those suggesting this was fun for other diners or the kids are delusional. Agreed. Put your babies to bed. Get a sitter or a deliveroo.

No one has said they want to see kids be silent at a table.

There's a lot of clear water between silent and screaming for an hour.

Look at your other posts if your memory fails you dear. I said the attitude towards kids in this country would be laughed at in other countries, you went on to tell us about your terribly exclusive Caribbean adults only holidays where nobody laughs about opinions on kids, I said it was a Tui package deal, etc etc

What makes something a "fine dining establishment" as opposed to family friendly? If there are high chairs available, surely that would suggest the management are expecting to cater for young children on occasion.

Just because a customer thinks they're paying over the odds for a meal doesn't give them the right to reclassify the experience as not suitable for children.

I 100% agree with you. Bring your kids, bring babies but honestly - DONT LET THEM SPOIL IT FOR OTHERS!

We were in a very fancy hotel outside of the UK (think Far East) and there was a family every single night who came down to dinner at 1930 and let their little brat scream and shout in the middle of the restaurant. He was often found legs crossed in the middle of the floor shouting out, and generally getting in the way of everyone. The family seemed totally oblivious to the noise and the poor staff who had to dodge this screamer.

There were a few complaints but this family didnt seen to care in the slightest

Fucking hell. What a shit depressing life!