Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Why IS your night out more important than those with kids in tow?

Use to be considered common curtesy that you considered others within reason out in public and basic parenting to teach kids how to behave.

I hated being prejudge with children in appropriate places- but you do start to see why it happens as so many parents seem to be increasingly oblivious to what used to be normal behavioral expectations and seem to have no consideration for others.

🤣🤣🤣 I wouldn’t take mine out that late, but each to their own,

Can you not do better than to make other women feel bad? I hope your children are able to behave in a more considerate manner than you clearly do. That’s if you actually have children- the way you speak about children makes me think you don’t or it was a very long time ago when people like you all thought children should be seen and not heard.

Mine would be exactly the same! Lol

It depends on the child and time of day. Generally I wouldn’t take a young baby somewhere you describe as they are too unpredictable (mine were anyway!). As they got older, we did eat out a lot but not in places that expensive and certainly not in the evening. They would just have been too tired and grouchy to sit in a restaurant. When we did eat in very expensive restaurants we would stay in their rooms and hire a childminder. Now they are teenagers they do eat with us.

i think you have to be sensible and respectful that people are paying a lot of money for what may be a very special occasion and a rare treat. Ultimately it’s up to the restaurant to make the rules, but I don’t really think any one particularly enjoys these experiences, parents are stressed, children tired and other diners pissed off.

You’re right, I don’t give a damn about your night, because you’re the kind of dick who tuts and stares and thinks they make the rules. You don’t. Fuck you.

Spot the inconsiderate parent. The attitude says it all.

When we have forked out for a babysitter for a special meal such as a big birthday, but then get seated next to a family with a baby or toddler.
😭

I'm very pro babies and toddlers being welcome in public spaces like cafes and I hate the anti young child sentiment some people express, as if babies and toddlers shouldn't exist in public at all, but a really nice restaurant is different.

This.

There may be some toddlers who can sit quietly for two hours or very young babies who will sleep for a long time after a feed but thinking it's acceptable to bother other diners in a high end place is just selfish and entitled behaviour. But I'm not surprised as it's likely the same people who think it's okay to look at their phone in the cinema or eat a full meal in the theatre along with condiments and side dishes (true story).

Do people think venues/all venues of a particular type should be offering some child free dining even if they think it's less profitable for them, or unviable? Who should be funding it if the sums don't add up?

I'm not asking about behaviour, I'm asking about no kids allowed at all, as some posters have said this should happen.

Yeah this! My heart would sink too. I'd not be tutting, or making a scene, because that family has a right to be there but the part of me who got my babies to bed, and booked a nice establishment, to enjoy some child free time would be disappointed if those babies and toddlers caused a disturbance which affected my meal.

Not that I've booked a nice anything since about 2017. But c'est la vie!!

I like an empty restaurant with just me and co diner in it :) That would be heaven ( unless, of course, all the staff were constantly hovering around and checking everything is ok just as you've taken a bite of something (think that's in waiter training))

How do people expect children to learn to behave in nice places if they take them to Toby freaking Carvery?

I don't think a nine month old baby falling asleep in a high chair is learning to behave though, really? Your children are considerably older and I think that's quite a different scenario.

I think little babies asleep in a proper pram are fine, they keep odd hours anyway don't they? 😁
My kids are night owls but when we took them out when they were young we'd aim to be done way before 8, even in a family place. Way too stressful otherwise.

100% agree with you.

Well it sounds like the wrong place for kids full stop. A noisy family oriented type pub is a better option. I wouldn't personally have miserable DC up past their bedtime unless they were bombproof at sleeping in a buggy/pram (although to give "fuck off" mum the benefit of the doubt, maybe her DC was usually happy to sleep in the buggy).

I wouldn't personally be judgy on bedtimes though, my DC1 would have happily stayed up till 9 or 10 with a bit of entertaining from around 2 - I tried to put him to bed at 7 but he was just a total night owl so it made sense to occasionally make the most of that (although never fine dining! More likely dinner round my parents). DC2 (now 3) would be begging for her bed by about 7.30 and has always gone to sleep no issues between 7 and 7.30. I'd never keep her up later as it wouldn't be fair on her. Same routine as babies, just very different personalities.

I agree with you and I have young kids 😂

It's really entitled and selfish to be honest

If info have to eat out with them I usually ask to be seated on the corner somewhere to try and minimise disruption

I have adult children but i respect and also know what its like to have young ones.
I think you were very rude.
I dont like to be around little ones as much now but i was the same years ago so i know how hard it was.
People like having dinner with their kids and why not if you dont like you go elsewhere.
If i see a screaming child i dont think shut that child up i think ive been there i know what its like i remember them days very well.
But you seem to have forgotten what its like to have children.
Very rude indeed.

We used to take our two DS out for occasional meals in the evening, usually naice pubs not restaurants for grown ups. They were always well behaved (I'm not sure how that happened TBH!?) and often we were complimented on their behaviour. I did bring things to entertain them - not screens/phones. I would have taken them out if they were loud or crying and would not have let a baby fall asleep in a high chair or anywhere. They were not Perfect Peters by any means and one DS has ADHD. We seem to be very uptight about young children out in the evening, in the UK (and often vocal or obvious about our irritation) which is not the case in many countires we have visited - Europeans seem generally relaxed about it and we've seen babies/toddlers out at midnight in the Far East. So YABU for expecting youngies to be put to bed for your benefit, but YANBU for expecting a peaceful meal. Parents should deal with their children or take them out if they are continually causing annoyance to other diners.

Doesnt sound that exclusive

Of course if he misbehaved I would have left. But it never happened. He loved food and he didn't start squawking at 6pm as you seem to think is inevitable.

It does seem like kids generally behave better in restaurants on the continent?

7.45pm is early for dinner, I don't have kids and we go out for dinner much later than that to avoid them, or we go out for lunch to non-kids places. Never have a problem.

Yanbu. Very young children shouldn’t be out for a meal at a time when it’s normal for them to be in bed. If it’s not their normal bedtime (and it sounds like it was since children either fell asleep or were cranky) then they need not to be disruptive to other diners. It’s a miserable experience for everyone - the children, their parents and the other diners at the restaurant. An exception might be a big family celebration, eg grandparents wedding anniversary dinner but a) the party organisers should be aware that it’s not a great idea with very young children b)sounds like it was just the two parents and the kids in this situation.

There’s nothing ignorant or selfish about going to a restaurant, but we’ve been over this.
Your deleted post was very unnecessarily aggressive, and you’ve continued to insult me throughout, simply because you don’t agree with me. It’s just a bit pointless.

This 100%

You're just coming off as obnoxious here tbh. In theory I agree that it can be annoying and a bit unexpected to deal with crying children in fancy restaurants.

But what is wrong with kids sometimes staying up on a special occasion? Did you never go to a family wedding when yours were small? It's not going to do them any harm and you don't have to give up absolutely everything you enjoy when you have kids. That kind of resentment wouldn't be good for the kids anyway.

Also talking about someone and gesturing towards them the way you did is incredibly rude. You're going on about how they haven't taught their kids to have manners at a restaurant but I guess no one ever taught you that either!

Maybe they enjoy having their kids with them and maybe they'd call you selfish for getting a babysitter?