Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

I would love it but accept that I have no right to compel a business to make policies that are financially inadvisable.

The only reason I want them to is because parents used to exercise common sense but now the narrative that it’s discriminatory for them to not be able to go anywhere at any time has taken hold.

I have been to two afternoon teas that were spoiled by rampaging children, and in both cases when the parents were asked to keep control of their kids, the staff got a mouthful of abuse about their “right” to be there. It should’ve been obvious to those parents that their toddlers were not suited to the environment but they didn’t care and had just as much right to be there because “kids aren’t banned”.

The only reason I want no kids places is because so many parents now don’t care whether or not the ambiance/environment is suited for their kids. I’d love businesses to take that decision away from them but accept that it probably won’t ever happen.

Well, I think it's quite plain to see why you have the kind of unpleasantly-behaved children who ruin other peoples' nights.

I’m very much the same. Cafes, pub gardens/restaurants in the daytime, garden centres etc all fine.

Dragging your poor kids to an upmarket Michelin restaurant at night and expecting them to sit quietly or stare at a tablet is just unfair to them, and everyone around you.

We were very rarely taken out to dinner as children, nor was my husband, but somehow we all developed good table manners. It’s the day to day at your kitchen table not the odd restaurant meal that teaches table manners.

Did anyone see the arguments in Australia recently over the woman who ignored the 16+ guidance who was asked to leave a live comedy performance because her 10 month old was fussing loudly? She stropped on a TV interview a few days later but her point was lost because her baby was doing what babies do - crying and fussing 😅

They're called children. You seem like a nice person...

Totally agree with you @Plsdiscuss

I’d be really disappointed in the restaurant too, for allowing little children in.

I do think people are becoming increasingly entitled. I took my DCs out all the time, but never to places where people who are spending a lot of money on a lovely experience might have that spoiled.

I was also at the ballet recently where a woman let her little children, far too young for a two hour performance, talk loudly throughout.

YADNBU

So many comments about “teaching children to behave”. The baby was 9 months old… 🙄 Taking them to restaurants at this age (although I avoid the evening during bedtime) usually means they learn to behave in them by the time they’re a little older.

That's fair enough. Nothing wrong with people accepting it's not up to them but having a hypothetical wish list.

For anyone who thinks it’s normal for little children to be dragged out at that time - the 9 month old slumped in the high chair asleep should answer that one for you.

I still don't get what the "high end" place has to do with it. I don't let my kids misbehave in McDonald's just because it's relatively cheap - I have more respect for the people who have paid to eat there, even if not £150ph, than to do this.

There’s a big difference between Toby Carvery and the type of place op is describing. There a lots of very nice restaurants in the middle where children can learn a kut good food and how to behave someone nice. It doesn’t have to be somewhere that charges £150 per head. We ate out in very nice places, but didn’t start taking our children to Michelin star restaurants until they were old enough to appreciate it. It’s still a fairly rare treat as a family, once or twice a year, but it’s not a place for very young children.

Nothing wrong with taking a sleeping 9 month old out, but they should be reclined in the buggy.

This thread is so mumsnet.

But people expect to see kids in McDonalds.

The OP (despite the fact the restaurant had high chairs and at least two families in it) thinks that this restaurant was too ‘exclusive’ for children

Actually non-eating customers have no right to impose themselves onto paying, eating customers. A restaurant in this price bracket should not be taking reservations after a defined hour from people bringing children/babies. Selfish parents leaving their baby hanging over a highchair while they themselves stuffed their faces are guilty of child abuse.

Still puzzled. Why is there so much more respect on this thread for people who can afford to pay £150ph for a meal than for everyone else?

If your kids can't behave, don't take them to Wetherspoons to practice on pensioners and students trying to enjoy their "affordable" curry or fish and chips in peace.

Sort of like selfish entitled people who think that because they paid X to enter a normal non exclusive restaurant, they should not be around children behaving like children?

Newsflash, none of us exist in the world alone and you will have to share spaces with undesirables. Even the "brats" who according to so many entitled people on this thread, and especially OP, should be in bed 🙄

What's even more ridiculous about this thread are all of the perfect parents chiming in with "I would never dream of letting my Jimmy behave like that in a restaurant". Yea ok, give yourself a gold star. I'm sure each and everyone of you are parents of the year....

If they are too young to be taught how to behave, then they should not be there. Same if they are older but have not learnt.

The entitlement is huge!

So many comments about “teaching children to behave”. The baby was 9 months old…

Quiet a few posters have pointed out it's the parents behavior that was the problem - seemingly oblivious to their child needs, lacking consideration for other diners.

Also ignore the 3 year old and other crying child whose mother was using unpleasant langues to OP.

The only reason I want them to is because parents used to exercise common sense but now the narrative that it’s discriminatory for them to not be able to go anywhere at any time has taken hold.

I think it's this - made worse by fact some kids can be taken everywhere and cause no disruption but not all can all the time - and apparently some parents can't or won't see the difference.

Why should I? The disdain shown for children in nice restaurants is clear, so if you don’t care about my night so why should I care about yours? If the restaurant doesn’t allow babies and kids then they should say on booking. Why do you make the rules?

Sure, but the OP' behaviour was also really rude,

Not rude at all, she was remarkably restrained in the circumstances. Some breeders shouldn't have a gerbil let alone a baby! (No offence to gerbils!)

Stop being so self entitled ! What time others kids go to bed is not up to you . Some of us actually enjoy going out and having dinner with our children , they could have been celebrating , they could have arrived from traveling from the uterus side of the world , they could simply do things differently to the U.K.and actually include children’s on meals out ( as most of world does )
Plenty of adult only places you can go !

I’m all about a 7 o’clock bed time! We eat out early and dc know how to behave because we’ve taught them. They also know that eating out is a treat and if they don’t behave they don’t eat out. Mind you we only really go to nicer pubs and restaurants, I wouldn’t take her to a £150 a head place as I wouldn’t expect it to be that family friendly.

We used to take our children most places when they were younger, they also knew how to behave because it wasn’t strange for them. Obviously if if was a romantic meal we wouldn’t take the children.

I love children, my 3 are now grown up and I have many grandchildren. Love them to bits- but there is a time and a place. And we expect them to respect other people and their enjoyment, and the fact they have paid very good money to go and enjoy themselves.

We love dogs too- but totally respect some people don't, and don't want to share their space with a badly behaved dog, or those who sit on laps at the table.

This is one of the things I hate about the U.K. it's quite normal in other countries for children to be out until around 9pm.

Given how dire childcare in the U.K. is, it's a nightmare for parents when combined with the fact certain other adults expect not to see children after 7pm.

Your fancy meal may be a casual family meal for others...