Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Yes, I regularly swear at my 4 month old baby….! Shouting and swearing at and around kids is repugnant. Adults though, especially ones that make new parents feel bad for having an evening meal with their baby there, well they can fuck right off, bunch of pricks.

I agree in those type of places. My kids go to bed at 7 so I also agree babies must be very tired at that time but If you want a late night dinner with kids, go to a family restaurant

don't think it's at all unreasonable to expect that after a certain time of night, in a certain type of place, that if people of any age are disturbing the peace they would be asked to leave. If an adult stood up and started shouting and crying they'd be asked to leave. So why is a baby or child screaming meant to be acceptable?

This ^

I've been to plenty of restaurants where adults disturb other diners.

Not all of them chat quietly

Who is saying my baby is screaming and disturbing you?

Everyone eating in the restaurant

Perhaps take a look in the mirror if you want to call someone entitled. Why the fuck do you have more right than anybody else to go out in the evenings?

Everyone has a right to go out, but no one has a right to make so much noise that others can't hear each other and it spoils the evening as they can't talk over the noise

Why is your evening more important than mine or anyone else with kids?

Its not, but why are your kids allowed to scream and spoil everyone else's evening?

Why do you think that you are entitled to silence at a meal?

No one asked for a meal in silence, they asked to not listen to screaming children

Why do you think all children should be in bed at a time prescribed by you?

Its developmentally better, but each to their own

You’re right, I don’t give a damn about your night, because you’re the kind of dick who tuts and stares and thinks they make the rules. You don’t. Fuck you.

If you spoil someone else experience then they will be cross and react, you have possibly already experienced the reaction to your behaviour and it wasn't favourable

I have two of my own and we dine frequently and I would never take them out past bedtime in this country anyway. On holiday or back in my home country, it's normal for kids to fall asleep on restaurant chairs or pushchairs but here, no way. Btw, I agree with you op.

So you didn't want the baby making noise but you also didn't want them to be asleep?

We have eaten at restaurants this late. Either because we have been eating with family or when travelling and the children have fallen asleep in the car. We had a restaurant booking for 6:15 last month. Unfortunately we got stuck in an accident tailback on the M6 and it ended up being 7:15 when we sat down (we'd cleared it with the restaurant). My baby and toddler had both slept for hours in the car which was better than the screaming that nearly caused my husband to crash.
Should I have not fed them? Deliveroo'd some takeaway crap to the hotel room and fed them on the floor without a table/plates/cutlery? Or asked some random person in the Travelodge to babysit so my husband and I could still eat? Put them to bed despite having been asleep since 5pm and only awake for 20 minutes? Or maybe we could just do what's best for our own family and not fear judgement from other people.

This is where social acceptance fails.
While there are many parents who would take their kids out and do their best to ensure that they don't disrupt other people, which people tend to understand and accommodate more readily, theres also this ^.

Because able adults should have the ability to control themselves, children are still learning and developing.

Fwiw however, I always take my children out if they become disruptive because I'm considerate

I also regularly spend time in a country which runs later, and it's not unusual to have kids running around or falling asleep during the course of the evening. But they're not usually throwing a fit and being allowed to scream whilst being pushed around in the pushchair etc. Think the kids being there isn't the point, it's the noise. So yeah I also agree OP...wholeheartedly!

Im going to get shot down now but what the hell.

im a mum and a nana and I love children, I love spending time with them, happy to mind neighbours children.

i don’t care what how expensive or cheap the restaurant is, I believe after a certain time it should be child free, the pub near me says after 8pm children are only permitted in the family room. This suits everyone.

we were at a pub a few weeks ago standing near the bar, 9.10pm, having a laugh with some friends when my DH swore, nothing bad, just a laugh and a what the \8\8, a mum had a go at him and pointed to her little ones !, sorry 9pm in a bar is adult time.

as for a restaurant, I don’t care if I’m spending £20 or £200, I should have the option to have a child free meal, I’ve had my children, I’ve stayed home because I couldn’t afford babysitters, I’ve eaten early so my children don’t disturb others, I now would like to eat my meal with adults.

more places should offer either family rooms, or children free rooms,

Thanks for that. I was in fact referring to the OP.

Sounds like it wasn’t that exclusive

Where do you glean that I don’t do my best to ensure that my child doesn’t disturb people?

YANBU. I hate screaming brats in restaurants. They just shouldn’t be there if they can’t behave. No problem with quiet well behaved ones.

Generally speaking, I'd say the children have as much a right to be there as you, if it's somewhere where kids are allowed. But I also think it was selfish of the parents to take such young children to a place where they'd have a terrible time and be absolutely exhausted.

Fair. I bet a thread that was neither about children, nor able adults would have been shot down pretty quickly.

I'm one of the ones who never takes my kids out past 7 because they turn into actual gremlins which make the ones from the film look cute! 😂

What is a "family restaurant" though?

Lots of places are very welcoming to children, and it's not necessarily the places you would expect. I was once dropping something off to a friend in one of those tiny sushi bars with two tables, a counter and high stools (we weren't going to stay as were planning to go to, wait for it... Pizza Express 😂). It wasn't busy and the owner saw my then 4yo looking at everything and brought some sushi rice and nori out for him to have a go at rolling some with cucumber. So he sat perched on a high stool doing this while we chatted and had some food.

They weren't being badly behaved. They were being babies! It's the parents who were being selfish by insisting on taking them there when those tiny tots should have been tucked up in bed.

Largely by your unfettered desire to "fuck u I'll do wot I want".

How does other people kids bother you tho? A screaming kid is the same as a loud drunk. We have babysitters but we also like to spend time with DS he been going to a wide variety of restaurants since he was tiny yes sometimes we had to walk round with him or rock the pushchair but we made it work.

We recently spent £100 per head plus drinks including DS would spend £150 if it was say a big birthday and still take DS. We would have had a good go at a tasting menu from being a young child he would be more horrified if you put down nuggets in a restaurant!!

I don't mind the swearing he hears worse in the play ground or on YouTube

Why are you making so many of these comments about you personally?? Are you okay?

Our bedtime is at seven and we dine out for lunch or a very early dinner at 4:30. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Because we like a routine and there wouldn’t be much joy for the kids, me or others if we were out that late. BUT everyone has a different routine and the kids’ folks were paying as much as you so I’m with the fuck off mum tbh… I wish I said this to the woman scowling at my baby who was fussing having her cost put on when leaving a restaurant at about 2pm on Easter Sunday. I nearly did say “Would you rather I do it outside in the rain?” and wanted to remind her it was the afternoon on a day when families would be out dining.

Coat*

This made me think of the people that tie their dog to a post out front of a shop so they can "pop in"