Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

I'm living the 7pm-5am no matter what I do life...it's not the gold standard I promise! Don't aim for this... I'm tired 😂

Fine if Pizza Express/family restaurants I would expect kids and allow for noise. However if I went to a fine dining/higher end restaurant after 8pm I’d expect it to be peaceful and if there were children that they were well behaved - not running about and not excessively noisy. If they were upset etc that they were taken out so as not to disturb others, which js what I would have done with my own DC if I’d taken them somewhere like this - we usually paid for a babysitter for a night out as a couple/with friends.

God I loved taking my children to nice restaurants when they were little. It got so bad I asked one (who was about 6 or 7) what he wanted for dinner and he said Cote! 🤣 We were in front of people!

How do people expect children to learn to behave in nice places if they take them to Toby freaking Carvery?

By expecting the same level of behaviour

I don't see why a Toby has to be full of squawking disruptive children

Whatever the restaurant, they can be taught how to behave

I have a little one and I agree with you.

I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

shows the entitled attitude of the parent and why they didn't give a shit who they upset

Aaand here is the swearing parent probably with screamy kids.

Children need to be able to act in a civilised manner before they are unleashed on other people.

Can’t be that exclusive if multiple children were there

Only on page 2 and there’s already been two posters who would expect to see this in Toby Carvery, as if there’s no middle ground between posh and a Toby, good old mumsnet 😂
But I’m with you really OP - I wouldn’t take my kids to dinner anywhere (even Toby - even people who eat there deserve to have a meal without incredibly upset babies!) at around bedtime - definitely wouldn’t enjoy it and would be worried about disturbing other people and my kids not having a great time.

But just to add, that's because our LO would be knackered and upset to be taken out past bed time.
I appreciate there might be people out there with different sleep patterns and different lifestyles that enjoy going out to restaurants with kids.

Nope. This is not a cultural universal. Plenty of places over the world and even cultures within the UK, the day skews later. My second son is a lark but first was a night owl and I wouldn't sit at home for your convenience or eat my dinner stupidly early when he would have been awake anyway.
Of course if he misbehaved I would have left. But it never happened. He loved food and he didn't start squawking at 6pm as you seem to think is inevitable.

Of course there's always the annoyance of judgemental wankers glowering at the appearance of a child despite the lack of any kind of disturbance but as the mother in your story says, fuck 'em.

I will not eat at a Hungry Horse because that's where you think children belong.
Bullshit like this makes me miss Italy.

Honestly I just cannot bear such ignorant and selfish behaviours and it does irritate me that parents are so inconsiderate. I had two kids under 2 and would never dream of taking them to any such adult setting. Also, if you think that Mumsnet applies a consistent and coherent approach to post deletions then you really need to think again. I am surprised you find it aggressive, you are clearly of a highly sensitive disposition aren't you?

Yes but that doesn’t mean that every child must sleep 7pm-5.30am (based on what my friends who enforce this bed time tell me!) . 9pm-7.30am is just as good, or better for many.

Partner and I were still giggling about the Fuck you the next day, so I guess that parent added to our meal enjoyment in her own unique way!

You must lead quite a sheltered life or not hear many jokes.

I feel for you 😂! We're very lucky in that both our DC enjoy a late night followed by a lie-in, even the little one. When it's not a school morning, the hours between 6am and 8am are MIIIIINE - I enjoy them in golden silence and do not share them with anyone.

Weird though it seems rich people do have children too.

Hesitant to get involved...but...didn't the thread start about children who are screaming and disturbing a meal? I think that was the point, not your children in particular.

Agree completely children have a right to be in a restaurant, it's up to individual parents what their routines and bedtimes look like, but also don't think it's at all unreasonable to expect that after a certain time of night, in a certain type of place, that if people of any age are disturbing the peace they would be asked to leave. If an adult stood up and started shouting and crying they'd be asked to leave. So why is a baby or child screaming meant to be acceptable? If people want the right to have their kids be somewhere then they need to adhere to the tone of the establishment.

Again, not saying yours haven't. But in the OP's original post, that's what was happening...and that's what we're talking about, right?

You really are a peach aren't you? Can you not do better than constant swearing on a thread? I hope your kids are able to behave in a more civilised manner than you clearly are.

@NotJohnMajor I agree I wouldn't like this in this context but babies exist in public, they are not a niche interest, they are people.

Ah mate, what a life!!! I am simultaneously green with envy whilst also being really genuinely quite thrilled for you. Live it up!!

I'm with TTcat37 here actually - all the questions she asks are valid! Why IS your night out more important than those with kids in tow?

Because you paid a lot of money for it? But of course so did they!

see also:

"what do you mean a ball against the fence constantly is annoying? its nice for kids to be outside you grump?"

"what do you mean my child running around a resto whilst people are carrying hot food is annoying? Im allowed some me time too"

"what do you mean they've just broken something in your house? Accidents will happen you shouldnt have your nice things where they can reach them!

Because screaming children ruin it for everyone else and adults talking quietly don't. Did you read the OP? Can you not understand the point that has been made?

^^ this
If I was spending that much money (I wouldn't) then I wouldn't expect to put up with screaming kids.
If you must take your kids out to dinner then do it very early, say 6pm, or go to a family friendly restaurant.
It's just selfish to other diners and your own kids.

Rich people have nannies, actually.

I’ve never been to what I would consider a nice restaurant and seen multiple children (at least two families).

I personally wouldn’t take my child out to eat at that time as he’d be tired but for two families to have gone there with their kids and for the restaurant to have high chairs, I just don’t think it can be that high end so perhaps there are some crossed wires with OPs expectations vs the type of restaurant.