Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Really? It seems incredibly crass and vulgar behaviour to me.

No it’s really selfish of parents to take young children to that kind of restaurant late. Go for a really early sitting or lunch, or go to a family type restaurant.
with my toddler we go for a 5/5:30 sitting if taking him, or later if we leave him with a babysitter.

The point with the bed time thing is that most people are on a work/ school schedule where the day roughly starts around the same time (I get there are exceptions but if your child is going to school they need to be in bed at a certain time to get enough sleep). Ignoring the science on sleep is really stupid and selfish imo.

I rest my case.

I don’t have a problem with the kids being there, just their behaviour. If you want a child free restaurant you should make sure it is. I have meals out spoiled by groups of people talking very loudly or cackling after large helpings of alcohol. But yes my grandchildren don’t go out to posh restaurants at the moment because they are young and it would be an ordeal for them and the people sitting next to them. As soon as they are happy and can behave they will.
If I were you I would leave a review to say how your meal was spoilt.

My 7yo is similar. Bed between 8-9pm and up for school at 7. Absolutely fine on 10-11 hours of sleep.

In the holidays (especially summer), our schedule naturally moves a bit later and he's often up until 10-10.30. I'm usually off during the holidays due to my job, and love not having DC up at the crack at dawn! Works for us.

7yo would not be in the least bit tired having a 7.45pm dinner. Neither would the little one, who still naps in the afternoon.

I completely get that there are families where the children go mouldy if they're not in bed by 7pm, and they're up at 5am regardless of what they parents do, but I never appreciated that this is some sort of "gold standard" of parenting that we're all meant to aim for.

I don't know what case you’re resting Detective Marinade but would you like a fuck you as well?

I’m with you OP. That would’ve ruined my evening.

This in spades(especially the last part 😁)

Poor kids.

Wowsers! You never took your children out at night. Never! Not a family party or wedding? A friends birthday?.. A dinner out ?
And 7 then 7.30. I've never had a child go to bed before 8 even as a baby, and I have four of them. Aim was always 8 till 8. Different countries/styles I guess. Sorry if this has already been mentioned.

I think YANBU .However babies crying is one thing.We had a birthday meal ruined for us ,when a whole group of people got louder and louder . One woman annoying laugh meant none of us could hear one another clearly(DC in teens/20s no hearing problems!)I think to avoid children book later on 9.00 say .7.45 is quite early really.Maybe with more Mums working they dont want to leave DC and also more disposable income .Never paid that sort of money for a meal though!

I agree, but quite often people seem to overestimate how much sleep children really need and then be surprised when they don't sleep at night or wake early. Primary age kids need between 9-12 hours. Some will need more, some less. Mine needs around 10-11 hours. A child getting up at 7 who goes to bed at 9 or 10pm could be absolutely fine on that amount of sleep.

This would be the case of reasonble and considerate parents v ignorant, lazy and and entitled parents who don't give a damn if their baby or child is screaming and disturbing other people's peace and/or enjoyment.

Selfish, entitled parents who will no doubt raise selfish, entitled children, as they are being taught that only what THEY want matters and that they don't need to consider the feelings of others. It's not uncommon, judging by many of the replies on this thread. But it is not the kind of society any of us should want.

To be honest, I'm not terribly concerned for you and your night out (if children are allowed then this was a risk you were always running) but I do think it's wrong to keep children up late past their usual bedtime except on very special occasions such as a family wedding.

Enough good quality sleep and a predictable bedtime and routine are crucial to their development, which is much more important than a meal out for the parents (during which they'll be half distracted with their children in any case).

Yeah sadly I agree. Whilst before I had children I was righteous enough to assume I knew best for all people and situations, life has kicked that out of me and now I'm more 'you do you'.

I mean...as long as whatever your version of 'you do you' isn't affecting my £150 per head dinner...then I'd like you to take your life choices and leave please. Quietly! 😂

And again with the aggression. Like I’ve said, many many times, if my child was disturbing others, I’d take them outside.

Honestly, you have been so unnecessarily aggressive from the get go. Read back over your posts, you’re straight in with the insults. So much so that mumsnet had to delete your first comment to me. But you know what, it only reflects poorly on you, and tells us everything we need to know about you. I don’t know what’s made you like this, but it can’t be enjoyable to spend your life so angry.

I was thinking the same!

Young children do have differing bedtimes and that’s ok if they’re getting the sleep they need. The issue is allowing them to be noisy in the restaurant and not taking them outside so they don’t disturb others.

Unfortunately, though, OP, the world is full of selfish and ignorant people who don’t know how to behave. They just think about themselves and sod everyone else. See some of the responses you’ve had in here. I dread to think of the values those parents will be instilling in their kids as they grow up - ‘I’m alright Jack’, no doubt.

Entitlement is absolutely the word and it's at the heart of what's wrong with our society

How do children learn to behave in nice restaurants if they’re never taken to nice restaurants?

Well I learnt at home. I was a child of the 70s when it wasn't the done thing to take the kids everywhere and we couldn't really afford to eat out anyway. But when I first started going out I knew exactly how to behave because my parents taught me at home. I was not allowed to run round the room while we were eating. We sat at the table and we talked. So guess what? When I went out, it never occurred to me to scream /shout / run or anything else. Because I didn't do it at home.

Perfect response!

If you're a chav, yes.

No one goes out to a nice restaurant in the evening to hear other people’s bawling children.
It’s a very dreary, grating sound.

Children should be on their beds at those times, not grizzling and tired in a boring restaurant .

Absolutely!