Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

I can understand being annoyed at feral kids and screeching babies in a restaurant, but why on earth people think other people's children should be in bed by 7.30pm just because their kids are is beyond me.

All bar One is more of a pub though, isn't it?

And not many people can afford Michellin star restaurants.

The point is, the onus is on parents to know their children and what they can cope with and where is suitable to take them.

I didn't eat out till my youngest was five because neither were good at sitting still for long enough till that age.

It's hilarious you spent £150 just to be outraged by what people around you are doing. You must have looked so daft with your gestures. Wish I'd been there. Don't have small kids but would borrow some for the entertainment value!

Why are people so judgemental saying it isn’t good for the kids to be out beyond say 7pm?

Other parents may have a different routine to you, that doesn’t mean their kids are missing out on sleep - it means they may sleep longer in the morning or have longer naps.

I’m not advocating that children should be routinely frequenting ‘nice’ restaurants at night but every so often if their parents want to do it, and they are allowed by the restaurant, then they are free to make that choice. As you are free to avoid that restaurant if you want a child free space.

Why does the world now seem to revolve around screeching children and their entitled parents? I assume you’d agree with singing along in the theatre and clapping in the middle of a music recital; rather than allowing everyone to enjoy the moment?🤷‍♀️

If a restaurant welcomes kids in, that's entirely their choice. You can't get pissy because you don't want them there.

That reply is about as “not classy” as the people who agree with it. Yuck

I completely agree with you op.

How are they going to get up for school if they go to bed so late?

How do children learn to behave in nice restaurants if they’re never taken to nice restaurants?

Our 5 year old came with us to a posh restaurant on Friday because we don’t have any family in the country to babysit, and the restaurant accepts children. She behaved impeccably, probably helped by the fact that we’ve taken her everywhere with us since she was a baby.

Next time, book somewhere that is adults only!

Upmarket establishments should and usually do have a cut off for children. Under 16s usually allowed until say 9pm with a complete blanket ban on under 8s from 6.

maybe it wasn’t that nice of a place? In future check the policies or ask to be seated away from children. I agree it’s a real PITA when you want to have an adult social experience and theirs screeching kids about. Or kids in general for that matter

Not all kids are in schools

Most restaurants since COVID are closing at 9 unless you go to weather spoons. Early dinner is before 7 especially for kids.

I wouldn't have taken mine to anywhere nice when they were young because they were a total nightmare post 7pm and they would have been annoying for other guests(and me).
A bit older I suppose they could have gone on my phone but apparently that's a huge MN no no too.

that's exactly what I was thinking

prices have gone up and 150 PP if alcohol is included has become pretty standard

As a mum of 3 I agree with you in the sense the kids were disturbing others because they were tired and needed there bed. Some kids don't need as much sleep as others but those kids seemed to. Nobody wants to listen to a screaming upset child whilst having a meal out at 8.30 at night.

I could not agree more with the op

But now it's like a god given right that people have to go out for unsuitable dinners with their small children

It’s not that late? My 6 year old sleeps 9.30ish - 7.30. That’s ten hours sleep, I’m sure some kids their age need more sleep, but they just don’t, and never have.
2 year old sleeps about 9-730, and has a 2 hour nap.

Where did you find a family friendly 150 a head restaurant??

Are you really talking a place with 40 mains, but you had an appie, dessert, and got sloshed? Because typically those places have a bar side.

kids in public suck, I totally agree, so I go to the bar side.

but overall not your business what people do with their own kids.

She behaved impeccably,

^

That's what you think!

No I never leave the house after 6pm with my youngest child under 6. I’ve turned down family meals that I know would have lasted past 6pm as the child would not settle and it would be a difficult meal to sit through

For me it's not a child v adult issue. For me, no one should be making so much noise that they are disturbing another table. This might be a crying child or it might be a group of adults who are much louder than they think.

That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm

Bringing your toddlers / babies at 7pm - 7.30 means they will invariably be squawking til 9pm, see above. Got it now? I am so sure your little darlings are the exception, they always are to peeps like you. And yes I will keep going, as are you!

It is an expensive luxury to eat out these days, even a quick coffee and a sandwich costs an arm and a leg. It is understandable that people are going to be annoyed and less and less tolerant when they are spending their hard earned money especially if it is something they have saved for and look forward to. We regularly took DCs to eat out from a young age but picked appropriate restaurants, went for lunch or early dinner and if they so much as squeaked we took them outside. We always made them mindful that other people were trying to have a nice meal and did not want to be disturbed. Bad behaviour in restaurants = no ice cream or pudding seemed to work.

If your child is impeccably behaved, I doubt anyone minds them being in a restaurant. That's why it doesn't make sense to necessarily ban children from things. Their parents can manke a judgement.

Not exactly the same, but I went to a local concert at the weekend. I took my eldest (7yo) as it started fairly early (6pm) so I thought it would be a good experience for her I also took DC4 who is 5 months. She happens to be a very quiet baby who I knew would look round for a bit and then nod off on my shoulder. I did NOT being DTwins (3yo). They would have been all over the place and talking loudly. I wouldnt take them to a restaurant either. It wouldn't be fair to spoil the experience for other people.

YOUR children might be totally fine eating out at that time. But the children the OP describes clearly weren't! If they are screaming/falling asleep in the high chair then OP is right and they should really have been at home in bed. These parents did not seem to have considered their childrens' best interests.

I wish thatmore parents applied common sense to whether a venue/activity is appropriate for their children. Not doing so leads to either experiences being ruined by unruly children, or to unecessary restrictions in children that are ready for those experiences.

Many argue that children won't knowhow to behave in restaurants if they aren't exposed to them young. I don't agree with that - they are perfectly capable of learning table manners at home. Children that will run around/screech unless entertained by an iPad are probably just not ready for a restaurant yet.