Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

I wouldn’t take mine out late because they wouldn’t settle and the meal wouldn’t be enjoyable for us all. However, making parents feel uncomfortable for doing something just because you wouldn’t is quite pathetic. I’m glad you got that response to be honest.

I think you could do with focusing on developing a tolerance for other people.

You can apply that to anyone though. We can’t control others behaviour - some adults don’t give a shit if their bad behaviour impacts others.

I’ve far more frequently been disrupted in the evening at restaurants by drunk adults than children.

A memory of a restaurant I was in earlier this year - the five year old opposite was sitting quietly, while the adults on the other side shared videos on their phone with the volume on.

That’s public places. If the restaurant felt it was inappropriate to have a child there, they wouldn’t take the booking. I have seen this before.

One thing I detest about being British is the general hate for children. I live being abroad in the summer and seeing how normal it is for young children to be out late. We’re so odd.

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

See above 👆 Why do you think it is appropriate to bring young children to such an environment? Seriously just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Parenting 101 for the ill informed.

Maybe if you 'clenched' a bit, you may become a bit more considerate...?

IMO People can take their kids anywhere they like but if they cry, have a tantrum, feel like screaming then they should be taken out. In Europe kids are in restaurants at all hours but they are well behaved. I wouldn’t have been happy either.

European perspective here: Brits get a bad rep for not parenting their children properly, not for being intolerant of children.

Yes, in places like France you will see children in restaurants, although not usually very late, but you can bet your life that if they were screaming or running around and disturbing other diners people would have something to say about it. And the French would probably be much more direct about telling you to manage your kids than the OP was. To be honest, even kids sitting at the table glued to an iPad would be frowned upon in France.

Just wanted to say I totally agree with you. Just in support as I know you'll get a load of equally entitled parents piling in telling you off. A baby slumped in a highchair should be asleep in bed and no way would I take children to a fancy restaurant at night if they are babies. Have some thought for other diners.

While I agree that babies should be in bed, this could literally have been a one-off for the family!! Hence why the babies were a bit irritable maybe? My 2.5 year old is in bed for 7pm pretty much every night but every now and then he has a later night if we are out for tea or whatever. Save your judgement and check next time if the restaurant is adult only!

Well you've hit the nail on the head here about people being inconsiderate in general.

Parents who let their kids scream and run around in restaurants, and adults who watch videos with the sound turned on at their table, have fallen from the same tree.

Same in other parts of Europe. It’s something that I still find very strange about the UK (and very sad).

It was a one off for the OP as well and probably a fair few of the other diners. Not many people can afford to spend that much on dinner on a regular basis.

My daughter is 2 this month and we have always taken her out for dinner. We have no family help so we'd never be able to eat out if we didn't take her.
As a result of taking her out frequently, she is very happy to be out, doesn't cry/shout etc. I always take puzzles, colouring pens, stamps etc to keep her busy.
Up until around 14 months, she would fall asleep in her pushchair by 7pm so no bother to anyone. The couple of times she's fussed, I pick her up, take her to a quieter area and settle her.
In terms of 'no kids food on the menu', not all kids eat 'kids food'. My daughter hates bland food, for example I went out last night and ordered Scallop Linguine. DD ate all 6 of my scallops (much to my dismay) and ate a good quarter of my pasta, as well as 2 slices of my partners goats cheese and caramelised onion pizza.
Try an adult only restaurant or a later sitting if you want to avoid children next time, it's a shame you felt like children ruined your meal but they have as much right to be there as you 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm in two minds about this. I can sort of see where you're coming from re small children and crying with tiredness etc.

However as a mum of young children I also know that usually I wouldn't do something like that but maybe for a one off I would and maybe babysitter cancelled etc

Some people don't like dogs. Some people don't like children. Some people don't like grumpy gits who gesture rudely at parents having a hard time. I'm sure if you asked children, some would say they don't like adults - they'd prefer to eat out in restaurants without adults around spoiling their fun.

All of these groups are capable of behaving badly - dogs, children, grumpy gits and adults more generally.

I don't really get why dogs and children attract so much more vitriol generally than grumpy gits and badly-behaved adults 😂.

Not all children go to bed at 7pm and whilst I wouldn't spend £150 a head and take children unless the restaurant had a no children or after a certain time then your being unreasonable.

Your post reminds me of being on holiday and listening to a couple complaining about there being children about.....at a hotel which had 2 kids pools, splash Park and family rooms. All I thought was pick adult only hotels in the future!

Pick adult only restaurants in the future OP!

How many restaurants are actually adult only though?

I feel like this is a very rare thing. Since having children I've only come across one restaurant with a no kids policy.

We're always told to think about the CF's circumstances. You also have no idea of OPs circumstances, or anyone else who was there.

Hi OP

I agree with you. Saw an earlier poster saying 7.45pm is an early dinner...I have my dinner at about 5.30pm (with my 2.5 year old DD) then her bath time is 7pm, in bed by 8-8.30pm.
The fact that the 9 month old was slumped in the high chair clearly shows that he/she should've been in bed...likely the same case for the 3 year old.

I agree, you shouldn't take your kids to upscale, very expensive restaurants.

I have 3 children under 4.

The problem is that my kids get discriminated in average cafés/restaurants.

We have an annual membership for our Botanical gardens. Lots of families use the gardens. You can also buy a day ticket there.

The Botanical garden also has private rooms, where they host lots of weddings.

Last year some people that attended a wedding decided to grab some coffee in the café, that is accessible to anyone that visits the Botanical gardens.

We happened to be there and my toddler daughter decided to have a massive tantrum about something completely minor.

My husband managed to calm her down after some time, but there was a man in that group of wedding guests who threw evil looks at me, like he wanted to murder me. Funnily enough he gave these looks to me, not my husband.

Now that is wrong! By all accounts be annoyed if a kid ruins your evening in a very expensive, fine dining restaurant.

However, you have no right to complain about normal children noise in a family type place. Then the onus is on you to leave, not the family!

Pick adult only restaurants! That's totally on you.

I am normally taking the kid friendly approach, but I agree OP. Kids that age should be in bed by then. Not fair on them to be up. You have kids and your lifestyle has to adapt to accommodate their needs.

5.30 is a very early time for an adult to have their evening meal.

I mean… most people don’t finish work until then.

Oh great, you’re still going.

Where have I not been considerate? As I’ve mentioned now multiple times, my children wouldn’t be disturbing others, if the toddler got upset I’d take her outside. My point is, children are allowed in these spaces as much as adults, and 7pm isn’t an unreasonable time to be out. If you still can’t get it, try re reading my posts and taking notes, it might help.

100% behind you

Also what is it with parents who allow their kids to watch screens at the table, blasting out peppa pig or some god awful children's programs...

I was on a plane a week ago and the child in front of me had a screen on, fair enough, but so loud, I asked mum if the child had earphones, she replied no, so I asked her to turn it down...so bloody rude

YABU as someone who gets irritated by small people by not chosing an adult only venue.

I feel your pain though, nothing worse than hearing kids screeching but if I chose to go out to a family restaurant, that's my problem.

(Love the Mum's response btw, you deserved it).