Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Some people seem to think unless your child is in bed by 7pm you are a bad parent.

This is a very UK-centric mentality!

That poor mother, you were incredibly rude op. Eat at later time or go to an adults only venue next time.

I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority

You clearly weren't in a quiet, adult only spot though.

My kids are adults and I definitely wouldn't enjoy eating where there were screaming kids, but I would choose somewhere where children weren't allowed after 7pm. For the same reason, we mainly choose hotels that are Adults Only.

Check the licence with the restaurant next time.

I think I over gestured in her direction when commenting to my partner rather than being too loud.

Partner and I were still giggling about the Fuck you the next day, so I guess that parent added to our meal enjoyment in her own unique way!

I'm with you op.

Some kids can cope with this, some can’t. That decision is up to the parents.

I will let my youngest child fall asleep in the pram if on holiday, as it means we can go out for a meal. I wouldn’t let them be upset and scream - a walk round the block usually sends them off to sleep.

I also want to enjoy my life and sometimes that means my child has to adapt to what I am doing, not the other way round.

I am assuming there isn’t going to be any long-term psychological damage as a consequence. History suggests not.

I’d expect a fancy restaurant to be no children for dinner settings. Ask next time!
I agree that it’s not enjoyable for other people. At the very very least families can be seated in one area but I wouldn’t spend that amount of money on a restaurant that allowed kids at dinner… next time safer to ask!

With an attitude like yours OP I’m glad they spoiled your meal.

This isn’t a good look.

@Plsdiscuss I'm still giggling at you spending so much money for something to get wound up over. You really paid £150 a head for that experience. Oh well, choose better where to splurge next time.

If you're in a restaurant where there's a stack of high chairs, that doesn't bode well.

The OP had it coming with her passive aggressive gesturing and commenting loudly enough for the other family to hear.

Seems your “very exclusive” dinner wasn’t quite as exclusive as you had thought 😬

She said it was £150 per head! Who on earth takes babies to that sort of place!
yanbu op- stupidly late to take kids out and expect them to behave!

Children need sleep, their bodies need to rest and repair. A 3 year old needs about 12 hours sleep a day, a 10 year old needs about 10 hours. Most children in this country turn up to school each morning knackered. No wonder the behaviour is appalling, the poor souls are beyond tired and the parents are to blame. Yes we know some children are ND and don't sleep well.

The mother that told you fuck off OP - she must have known her kids were misbehaving and that's what you were commenting on rather than "ooh I love her shoes".

I despair of how selfish some people are, both to other diners and their own children.

Glad you got a giggle OP, I'd have laughted too.

You've spelled it out yourself. You'd expect it to be no children. It's not an unreasonable expectation.

I can't get away from that poor baby slumped over the side of the highchair for as long as they were. Poor thing should have been in bed.

From the sound of it that rude mother clearly cares very little about her children or other diners! The rules are you take screaming brats out of a public place in which people are trying to enjoy their meal and a baby asleep in a highchair needs to be put in it's pram at the very least! Her behaviour clearly indicates she's doesn't give a flying fig.

Hmphffff, I don't think having babies or toddlers out for a meal is necessarily the issue, it's parents not responding to the child's needs, although in the case you illustrate OP, you say the parent took the baby out, so I don't see the issue, and yes if they are sat away from the door, they will obviously need to walk through the restaurant to get to the exit😂 with wailing baby!
I also think bank holiday weekends you are more likely to get folk with young families out, as quite possibly they're away from home, enjoying a long weekend mini-break, ergo kids out of sync of routine, particularly if they've had a long journey and slept in the car.
We went away for a five day break when dd was 8 months, I was about to return to work and dh was about to do another long stint over seas. We were staying in a B & B, so no choice to go out for an evening meal. However if dd started to become unsettled, I'd take her out of the restaurant so as not to disturb the other diners. Generally though, she'd go to sleep in her carry cot (lovely old pram, meant she'd snooze, whilst being rocked!). We found a little Italian place one evening, we'd ordered and our meals had just arrived, when dd started crying, I got up to take her out, and the lovely maitre d, came zooming across the restaurant and offered to hold and jiggle dd so I could eat my food, dd then spent the next 10 mins being introduced to all the other diners and giggling profusely! Ahh happy memories!
I think Brits get such a bad rep for being child hater'z' by our European cousins, because we seem to struggle to tolerate babies and young children!
It's good for children to have these experiences, but parents shouldn't let toddlers run around, or disturb other diners, and if a baby is crying the parents need to be attentive (but a little grizzle before falling asleep needs tolerance from other patrons), so I'm right on the fence with this one!

Agree. You love your children, but everyone else does not. They ought not to be spoiling other people's evenings. Put them to bed. No baby-sitter? Get a take-away, dress up, light candles and be intimate at home - saves money, too. I am sorry your evening was spoiled.

Sorry but I’m not wasting a decade having early nights in with the kids. Part of the reason I had kids was to enjoy nice experiences with them! I feel like if your food/conversation was enjoyable enough this wouldn’t have been nearly as big a deal.

The trouble with "it's up to the parents" is that some parents clearly don't give a shit whether their children are ruining other people's enjoyment of their meal or not.

I don't know a single breastfed baby asleep for 7pm every night.

the lovely maitre d, came zooming across the restaurant and offered to hold and jiggle dd so I could eat my food, dd then spent the next 10 mins being introduced to all the other diners and giggling profusely

Call me a mean old witch but I would hate this happening when I was trying to eat food I was paying for and talk to my own companions, not someone else’s random baby. I’d definitely not return to a place like this.

My breastfed son slept for 8pm every night but could push his bed time back

Please god let us never meet in real life. You sound awful.