Dressing up in sexy lingerie

[Justgoodforthegetting]

Topic inspired by the thread from the OP about how she doesn’t understand relationships going to shit after babies.

There seemed to be quite a lot of comments about the sexy underwear and the OP dressing up in sexy lingerie for her husband.

To clarify, the way the OP put it did make it seem like a bit of a desperate act in order to keep her husband happy but what is the general consensus on dressing up for a man (or woman) in this way?

I love to dress up in sexy lingerie for someone but would never do it if I felt it was to placate someone or keep them happy in some way, but I do like to see the reaction it gets and it makes me feel sexy and empowered.
How about everyone else?

IABU-sexy lingerie is outdated sexist nonsense.

IANBU-love sexy lingerie and wear it whenever the chance presents itself.

I like it but DP is utterly unmoved by it! (On anyone, not just me).

In my 30s I just wore what was comfortable (babies and children to look after). In my 40s and 50s I wore pretty matching sets as I loved how they looked. I also wore suspenders and stockings on evenings out as they added to the pzazz of the evening. I once walked around with my DH on a weekend in Paris late at night while wearing nothing but a black basque, stockings & high heels under a long coat. His blood pressure was probably sky high which might not have been a good idea as we were both over 50 but it was hilarious! In my 60s I moved back towards comfort but on an evening out, I'll still go for the pretty things.

I would never wear lingerie just for somebody else because it wouldn't be authentic. It has to be because I want to do it for myself, like dabbing on a fabulous scent or wearing my best jewellery adds to my enjoyment of a special event.

I do sexy lingerie but I cobble it together from bits and bobs if necessary - by this time it's a desperate situation and my DH will take anything he can get.

Yep.
In my opinion it's because there's not that much stuff that can really enhance a mans body sexually.

I think men look best in really simple boxer briefs, plain black or white.

Any male lingerie I've seen just doesn't flatter their bodies and I think it's predominantly gay men who like it.

I dont understand how some people don't understand why some women wear sexy undies for their partner. Some women just find it a turn on seeing how turned on their partner gets for them or like doing something they know they like. It's not degrading or placating or being treated like a blow-up doll etc.

Anyway, I do have some nice undies for this reason. I save them for special occasions or nights out. It builds anticipation for us both.

I’m 40 something and I’m very much midway on this. Some would argue l spend too much on lingerie, but l go for pretty and practical for day to day wear. I am not a multi pack of knickers from the supermarket type of girl. I like to feel good and confident underneath it all. I always buy 2 pairs of matching knickers when l buy a new bra, although l supplement with others. I aspire to match but don’t always. Regardless l love (soft) lace and bold colours. I don’t have anything in white or so called “nude” which to me looks like cardboard.

l think it’s important to look nice when someone sees you undressing or dressing. But l don’t have anything with holes strategically placed and for sex it all comes off, l want to be naked, although l love being slowly undressed.

Did it once, DH laughed like a drain. Didn't do it again.

This is it.

Wearing lingerie makes me feel empowered and gives me confidence. I love seeing DH drool over me and getting turned on by what I’m wearing. I genuinely am shocked that it is not more of a common thing. It’s so interesting how your own relationship and experiences can shape how you perceive what the ‘norm’ is in relationships.

I think it's ridiculous. We are not dolls.

One of my best mates (male) said men don't care how you look or what you are wearing, if you are naked it's enough.

"Empowering to be drooled over"

JFC this is the biggest lie ever sold to us as women, we are not objects to be drooled over.

The most sexy thing for a man isn't the lingerie, it's him feeling wanted.

Men are often 'accused' of having a higher sex drive and hinting for/pushing for it. Take control and make him a priority, and it will go down a thousand times better than any lingerie, which is usually off on 30 seconds anyway!

(Works both ways).

'Empowered' just makes me think of all the women, in the 90s, who did FHM photo shoots wearing lingerie/bikins.

They said they felt 'empowered', but i always felt like their hearts weren't really in it.
I'm sure their agent's had a lot to do with it, as well.

What do u mean? Like you in his underwear

I'm assuming she means that it's her knickers, but it's her husband's favourite pair, of her knickers.

Then dont mention your sex life on a forum?

If the guy I was seeing didn't appreciate me in my normal underwear, I'd just sack him off. He does, however (there's been times that we met straight after I finished work short notice for other reasons, so very much big knickers and comfy bra)

He does enjoy me wearing lingerie though, so I do it for him. I try to wear nice knickers and a bra at the very least 😂 it depends what we're doing that day.

Of course sex is going to be mentioned on an internet forum. Criticising the details of someone’s sex life, especially when it wasn’t the topic of the post or problematic to the poster, is pretty grossly irrelevant. Let alone starting a whole new thread in order to call another woman ‘desperate’ for enjoying an element of her sex life. It’s pretty disgusting and weird for someone to fixate on it to the point of creating an internet post.

But, hey, if you like to sit around and examine what adults wear during sex and whether you like it or not, you do you. I guess …

XH1 was really into this and, for a long time, I felt like I enjoyed wearing lingerie. I wore pretty undies before I met him anyway, and just upped the "sexy" factor somewhat. But it became clear it was a fetish for him - he was more into the outfits than the woman wearing them.

I went back to M&S's more stylish offerings, he moved on to another living dummy and, after a time, I learnt how not to objectify myself through the imagined male gaze.

These days I mostly wear stretch bra tops and granny pants 😂

Another thing I learnt is that I am NOT interested in fetishes! Sex is about the entire human body for me, not isolated parts of it, and definitely not inanimate objects.

Who do you think you are telling another, grown woman whether her feeling of empowerment is a lie or not?

You're no better than the men who tell us what we should or shouldn't feel like doing.

If I came home from work, in a sweaty, mess with my boring knickers on, with the stress of the day still lingering, my husband would still love having sex with me and I enjoy it too. But, if I have time to make MYSELF feel good, enjoy the things that make my body look good TO ME, feel sexy in myself then that sex is going to feel better TO ME because I FEEL desirable and I feel sexy and good.

Nothing to do with being a fucking doll. Are brides 'dolls', people who get dressed up for any other occasion? It's no different. It's dressing up to feel good and so fucking what if someone's husband enjoys it too? Doesn't make him a misogynistic prick, it just means he's for eyes and he likes what he sees.

Purely out of interest...do any of your (male) partners dress up sexily...in 'specially for sex' underwear?

In my 60 years on the planet...not one male partner has EVER made the slightest effort with their underwear for the purposes of 'sexy time' 🤷‍♀️

So no...if they don't find me attractive enough in my M&S cotton knickers, then they are not getting the goods inside them ☺️

Being bisexual and being on this planet for 40 plus years, I’ve seen quite a lot of men and women in their undies and less, l think it’s important for people to have nice underwear. It’s about respect for yourself and your partner(s). But mens’ underwear is a different ball game (pun intended). And any man wearing “sexy time underwear” is likely to make me burst out laughing.

I'm a big fan of lingerie, I wear it because I like how it looks, and of course the obvious benefits for Mr Hereyoume.

I will even wear some on a perfectly ordinary day, going to work or just hanging around the house. I'm not talking full on corset, S&S with heels. Just a little something to make me feel a little special.

I dress up sometimes for DP- I like the reaction I get from him. Not that he 'needs' an extra reason, but he loves being surprised (his ex never used to do it so it's an unexpected bonus for him)

I, in turn, love seeing him topless and fixing a radiator, or when he's a bit grubby from fixing the car... He does have a particular pair of pants I like too 😂

What would you like a man to wear?

What would be the equivalent?

So many nice bras, have really crappy inconsequential matching knickers that they try and make you buy - bravissimo for one

I agree with this ^
by the way I don’t wear sexy lingerie as I prefer soft cotton.