Dressing up in sexy lingerie

[Justgoodforthegetting]

Topic inspired by the thread from the OP about how she doesn’t understand relationships going to shit after babies.

There seemed to be quite a lot of comments about the sexy underwear and the OP dressing up in sexy lingerie for her husband.

To clarify, the way the OP put it did make it seem like a bit of a desperate act in order to keep her husband happy but what is the general consensus on dressing up for a man (or woman) in this way?

I love to dress up in sexy lingerie for someone but would never do it if I felt it was to placate someone or keep them happy in some way, but I do like to see the reaction it gets and it makes me feel sexy and empowered.
How about everyone else?

IABU-sexy lingerie is outdated sexist nonsense.

IANBU-love sexy lingerie and wear it whenever the chance presents itself.

I’ve done it once and he didn’t notice so I felt like a right muppet. Never again.

With previous partners I have done it but my husband is more of a comfy pyjamas kind of guy. He would probably just burst out laughing. He thinks it's just going to go on the floor pretty quickly so what's the point?

I have before early in relationship with dh but it fizzled out as it added nothing to the experience and it was coming off anyway 🤦‍♀️

I used to feel like a dick in any sexy underwear. The first time I did the whole full on lingerie thing my boyfriend burst out laughing and I was so embarrassed I ran off to get changed- he was embarrassed too and we never tried it again.

This was before porn was widely available so maybe it's different now.

I dress up often, love it.

Mine thinks the entire concept is hilarious so it would be pointless even if I didn’t feel like a self conscious idiot. I wear nice - as opposed to sexy - underwear all the time.

I love dressing up for DP. and I love when he makes an effort to look good for me. I have when given the opportunity dressed up ready for him getting home from work. His face lights up with love and desire. It makes me feel good about myself and my body and makes us both feel wanted and desired and appreciated.

It's not a race to the bottom, you can do things to make your partner feel good and keep a monogamous relationship exciting.

Not wearing lingerie is hardly a race to the bottom!

I think it's a fun way to spice things up a little. I'd never do it if I felt obligated to or like someone was expecting it, but if it makes me feel good then why not. That being said I'm a year post baby and still haven't felt like braving it since my body changed so much none of my nice lingere fits anymore and it's too expensive to buy while still breastfeeding incase my shape changes again.

No, it’s a race to the bare bottom.

Underwear wise if my bra and pants vaguely match I’m winning!

single and happy so mo menz to dress up for

i do like a bit of power dressing at work though - it scares managers!

There's an in between stage, matching, but still comfortable, got some good ones in Sainsbury's last year

I used to do the whole 'nurses outfit and stripper heels' thing with (now) DH in my early 20s.
I wouldn't do that now (aged 40) because:
A - I'd feel like a bit of a tit
B - I can't be arsed
I now do plan for sex on occassion, rather than it being spontaneous, but put on a nice fancy-looking (ish) matching set of my regular underwear instead.
I think as long as you both want to do something, then fantastic - go for it. But if one of you is doing something under duress, then obviously that's not OK.

🎯

I don't think it's sexist and outdated particularly but I really could not be bothered haha I don't even shave my legs most of the time 🤣.

I think if it were an expectation it wouldn't be great but if women want to dress up and it makes them feel good, what's the harm?

Exactly. When we all know that (some) men would have sex with a car exhaust.

I hate it. I don't find it comfortable or attractive and I've yet to see a man voluntarily get themselves dressed up in lace and silk to please a woman.

This topic reminds me that you don't have men's magazines telling their readers how to please their wives.

If anyone still reads Cosmopolitan, I remember it was like that issue after issue.
And 'More' had 'the position of the week'.

It's only women who are told that they have to up the ante to keep their man happy.

It's funny, really.

You don't have outfits that make you feel good? That you feel nice in, that make you look in the mirror and think 'I look fabulous'. No different to how I feel in nice, sexy underwear.

As for sex and positions? I like sex, in fact I love it, I can't think of a disadvantage to trying new and varied sexual positions, either fortnightly or otherwise!

Reminds me of Benny Hill or Carry On Films. Something that dirty old men ‘F’nar F’nar’ about. Nope. Sexy is what genuinely turns a woman on psychologically and physiologically. Not some superficial wainscotting for the visual titillation of men.

I’m partial to nice underwear, but for me and not to ‘dress up’ for someone else.
It seems so outdated now - I don’t get my self worth/ value from how a man reacts seeing me dressed up for sex. I feel that went out in the 90s with a lot of other misogynistic guff. Can you imagine a man doing this for a woman?! 😄
A nice perfume and a smile will do….

I have never felt that I had to do it, but I know DH likes it and I am happy to do it for him. I feel quite good in it, particularly for the reaction it gets and I do enjoy selecting it. Mostly good quality M+S stuff.

Oh and to add DH does have some very nice silk boxers which I really like. Nothing OTT but it adds to the sense of the occasion.

Me too.

I wear it. I wear it because I want to. Makes me feel good. I have learnt how into sex I am is directly tied into how much he seems to want me. I have loads of it. I usually buy stuff you don't have to take off.