Grown Men Dating Teenagers

[ReallyDubious]

I have a male acquaintance who expressed a really concerning opinion about age gap relationships. He thinks that it is ok for a much older man to date younger women and teenagers as 'some women (or girls) are more mature than others'. Although I agree with that in principle, I do not agree that a teenager is ever mature enough to date a grown man.

He said he dated 'mature' teens when he was in his 40s and I'm seriously revolted at the thought. AIBU to think there is something seriously wrong with this man?

Same here. Disgusting perverts.

It’s totally natural for middle aged men to be attracted to older teen girls - they represent youth, vitality and fertility.

By the same token, it's totally unnatural for 'teen girls' to be with middle aged men. Most of them have very little to offer.

One of the men in our social group has recently started dating a woman half his age. Hes 53 she’s 26. He’s started bringing here out to our events and although she’s a nice enough girl she’s got zero in common with the rest of us and it’s so awkward. Everyone else in the group is late 40’s and 50’s - she’s even said some of us are older than her parents!

He stands looking at her grinding on the dance floor with a look on his face like the cat that got the cream. It’s all just a bit cringe imo.

I couldn't have put it better!

I wouldn't be able to be friends with him anymore.

Don't care. As long as all the participants are over 18. It's either women are 'their own people' and have agency over their lives, or they don't. Can't have it both ways. There's a legal cutoff and I'm fine with that.

As for 50 year old multimillionaire celebs 'dating' 20-somethings. Let's just not pretend the women are some innocent lambs in all that. It's a transaction, sex with a young body in exchange for clout, money, connections, lifestyle. It's not as if they don't know what they're doing. As long as both parties fulfill their obligations - it's their own business. DiCaprio's model 'girlfriends' are not forced to be with him and aren't doing it for his sparkling personality and his heartbreaking looks. No one ever heard of them before Leo and now some of them are models and actresses.

Nailed it 😉

Financial means？

Why do people in these discussions always assume that middle aged men are rich?

The vast majority are not. Also, there's a high chance that men in this age group will have been married previously, so would have to divide whatever money they have with their ex partner and children. An unencumbered similar aged man with a good job would be a much better option for a young woman, if 'financial means' are important to her.

Such a good point about role models - and one that rarely gets brought up in the current discussions around masculinity - people bemoan that masculinity is 'demonised' but don't seem to want to discuss all the negative 'masculine' traits the older generations have modelled.

Have you heard about "barely legal" magazines? And all the crap about men waiting for girls to hit 16 so "they are legal"? Wasn't there this big thing about Charlotte Church in the Sun? Its fucking gross. If you, at 40, see 16-18 year old as anything other than a child you have a problem and you are, in my eyes, a sicko and someone to avoid.

Yes it’s revolting. It’s never ok.

Imbalance of power. Immense sexism.

Why would a teen want to marry an immature 30/40y old anyway? So unattractive.

When I was 17 I dated a 42 year old man for about 3 months. I was very naive at that age! And I'd left home so my mum had no idea about it, she would have gone utterly ballistic if she had. (Rightly so!) 30 plus years later I look back and it genuinely turns my stomach. Why would a man in his 40s (or 30s) be interested in a teenager?? It brings to mind a saying I heard...an older man that wants to date a teenager is like a boss that pays minimum wage. They would go lower but its illegal! (Obviously this can apply to women too!)

You're being ridiculous-she's 26. Teenagers need protecting ofc, and maybe 20-21 year olds, but the way some on here take it to extremes 🙄I don't care about that age gap unless they started planning a family-I'd judge that because having babies in your mid 50s is selfish.

And if one of the participants is 16 or 17...? It's legal. Are you fine with it?

@Firefly1987 I'm really not. 26 and 53 is revolting.

And whoever said "sex with a young body" 🤮🤮 stop the world I want to get off..

Sorry I dont agree with this . Why do you think it’s natural for men and not women? Because im 42 and no way I find 16 year old boys attractive .

I think it's pretty weird. But I have casually dated a man 20 yrs older when I was young. I'd never want anything serious from that though. He didn't pressure me into it or anything.
Most older men should have the nous to realise that she'd have little in common with you so both could end up not being very happy, but they don't.
I think it's quite sad really and grim. But each to their own I guess.

I knew a 35 year old man who was in a relationship with a 16 year old. I knew both quite well (they met in the club scene... she had fake ID, but everyone knew her age).
He ended up being emotionally abusive. She moved in with him (they moved abroad), and he would lock her in their apartment when he was at work.
Looking back, I feel odd for even being her friend (I was 27 at the time).

Christ give it a fucking rest

😂

Yeah I dated 28/29yr old guys when I was 18/19 and when I got to that age I was so confused as to how they found me a suitable match...couple of longish term (18m+) ones too. they were all mature students at my uni though so maybe because of the situation - still trying to live a uni life.
I must have a type though because my now DH is 12 years older than me but we didn't meet until I was 26, seems much less strange now!

Why? She's been out of her teens for quite a while, she's much closer to 30! I understand not having anything in common with her etc. but to call it revolting and say you'd end a friendship over it, bit OTT.

It's revolting. You can have your weird grim opinion and I'll have mine. 😂

@Disturbia81 and yet you can't explain why? I'm sure I'd probably find your choices of partner revolting too. Can't help who you fall for though and 26 years old is firmly in the camp of "can date whatever other adult she wants". Guess you'll just have to seethe about it but I'd save my revulsion for the actual topic of the thread which was not about people pushing 30 dating other adults.