Grown Men Dating Teenagers

[ReallyDubious]

I have a male acquaintance who expressed a really concerning opinion about age gap relationships. He thinks that it is ok for a much older man to date younger women and teenagers as 'some women (or girls) are more mature than others'. Although I agree with that in principle, I do not agree that a teenager is ever mature enough to date a grown man.

He said he dated 'mature' teens when he was in his 40s and I'm seriously revolted at the thought. AIBU to think there is something seriously wrong with this man?

Any man in his 40s dating “mature” teens is a wrong ‘un, make no mistake.

Don't worry, by the time a fella's old enough to be interested in Barely Legal magazine he's barely able to enjoy it.

Let me guess, you are either in a large age gap relationship or a man. The defensiveness is dripping off you.

This happened to me, was 19, I did the pursuing! He was very charismatic and he made me F*ing insane. I kind of regret it - it was a Huge age gap - and he turned out to be a nutter, but when it was good it was Great.

I think (and I am just guessing) that much younger women who like older men, do not have daddy issues. They just have very old Dads. If your Dad is in his 40s or 50s when you are a toddler, I think it might imprint what an attractive man looks like.
It certainly is not that they are more mature.
There are young women with Daddy issues, but as a middle aged man, they are typically keen to be your friend rather than a lover.

I've already said older men are my type. I'm currently single, they're usually taken at that age. But you don't sound judgemental at all luv, let me guess, anything over 3 years older has you clutching your pearls?

Ooh yeah love my hands are seized up from clutching mi pearls so hard! 😂 Now piss off, I'm ignoring your posts now.

Yes @Hartley99 definitely! Thinking about it, men in their 20s are 30s, rarely - if ever - go for, or leer at teenage girls. Indeed most say, 22-36 y.o. young men would boak at the idea of being with a 16 y.o. But yeah, older men (42-45 and older,) seem to lust after teen girls. It's really fucking odd, because they are virtually CHILDREN. Many 16-17 y.o girls I see (that would be 'legal,') look 13-14. Why the fuck are these middle aged men 'attracted' to them?

It's nasty as fuck.

As for the 'older' famous men (50+) going out with young pretty 20-something bombshells. WHY? WHY do they do this? Do they think they are special? Do they think that other men will be jealous or in awe of them for dating a women 30-40 years younger? Surely most people are laughing at them? (I am!) I am laughing at how pathetic and sad they look with these 20 y.o. lasses on their arm, often young enough - biologically - to be their grandaughter!

Everyone knows the lasses are only there for the fame, the money, and the publicity. No WAY would they go for these men if it was Dave the Wages Clerk who lives in a 1 bedroom flat, and earns £28K a year. As many posters have said, most men over 45 have fuck-all to offer a young woman.

I had never seen Aaron Taylor Johnson's wife before. Just googled her, and saw pictures of them together. I'm sorry but she looks like his nan! He is 33 and could pass for 26-28, and she is 56, and looks 66 IMO. And they met when Aaron was 19!

Also, he was 22, and she was 45 when they got married!

@Disturbia81 ditto, you sound lovely btw 😆

As a man who was single in middle age (now very happily married), I realise how rough it is for young women into older men.
I imagine you might like older me, but you still want them to be in good shape, reasonably successful, single and preferably have hair.
It makes the odds very much not in your favour.

Dress it up as 'perfectly OK' as much as you like. A man 45-50+ dating a 20 y.o. is grim as fuck. Including Leonardo DiCaprio. Nearly 50 and dating lasses just out of their teens. These young women may know what they are doing and are not being forced into being with him, but it doesn't change the fact that it is GRIM. (Rumour has it anyway, that these girls are 'beards' who are paid to 'date' Leo.)

As for the comment someone made 'it's natural for middle aged men to be attracted to teen girls because they represent youth and fertility.' Are you actually fucking kidding me right now? Sooooo because a 17 y.o. is young and nubile and fertile, it's OK for a grubby 50 y.o. man to leer and letch and potentially put his hands on her?!

Give me strength! 😖 I PRAY that the posters saying this shit do NOT have daughters. God help them!

Certainly true for me, not the attractive part just the fact a guy 20 years older is still nowhere near my dads age so it's not a big deal to me. I'll bet a lot of views are based on how old our parents are. If your parents were a similar age and had you at 25 then age gaps are probably alien and uncomfortable to you.

Different thing, but it reminds me of an old friend I had years ago whose mum was a teen when she had her and my friend had toddler (twin) siblings. I remember her telling me it was a shock when she found out she was pregnant and that her mum shouldn't still have been having sex at her age. I said "hun, your mum is 34!" 😆So yeah I suppose a lot of views on dating etc. can stem from your own parents age.

But I think we're straying a bit from the OPs original thread into just general age-gap relationships and how distasteful some posters find them which is a whole other thing than dating barely legal young women/girls.

As long as we all agree men that do this are buying sex because they can't hold a mature relationship. Heaven knows the women get called enough names for him to be called out as a spoilt man-child who can't get a relationship on his own personality.

I met a woman recently so friend of a friend who is at her wits end about this issue. Her 17 year old son has moved in with a 36 year old mother of three. Police and social services won't or can't do anything because it's legal but it's not right!
This woman and her husband are very well off and she's terrified he is going to get her pregnant. As things stand he won't even pick up the phone to his mum because she made her feelings clear.

My mum was 21 when I was born. An age gap that large sounds disgusting to me.

Why on earth would she want another kid with a 17 yo, it makes no sense. He has nothing to offer her. Not as if she would get benefits because she has too many kids already. He won't have money to help her finance any of it and even if he did and it would be minimum wage so £9pw.
She's basically taken on another kid. Very unlikely she will be using him as a sex slave with all the other kids running about, don't you think?
Why do you think she is doing it?

Yep, that exactly describes my father waiting for a girl's sixteenth birthday to fuck her so it'd be legal. He'd already lost his teaching job (this in the sixties!) because of his behaviour to one of the boys.

Ditto. My parents were 21 and 22 when I was born so for me anyone that much older just seemed like my parents generation and held no appeal.

Now in my 50’s and single, I get quite a lot of men in their 70’s message me to try and date so they don’t give up chasing women young enough to be their daughters even at that age.

@MsMuffinWalloper

I'm guessing that she's seeing money signs because of the boys family. If she gets pregnant the boys mum and dad would (I'm guessing) have to make sure their grandchild isn't living in poverty.
I don't know why she's doing it, why do so many men do it? A year and a bit younger and she'd be a pedophile, it's gross and I can't fathom why full grown adults want to have sex with someone young enough to be their child.

Reminds me of many years ago, Ben Elton writing with disgust about The Sun having a fifteen year old (Samantha Fox?) as a page 3 girl and printing "in three weeks she turns sixteen and we'll show you her nipples!"

Oh I know why men do it. Plenty on this thread trying to explain why men do it.

Simply doesn't work the same way the other way round when a woman already has 3 kids. He won't want to be a babysitter, that's for sure.

@MsMuffinWalloper
Why do you think she's doing it, do you not believe the women can be as sexually perverted as men?

It’s repulsive. Middle aged men getting hot under the collar over teenage girls.

It’s all like ‘15 and 364 days’ - disgusting you creepy old paedo.

The clock strikes midnight ‘yay she's legal now lads and fair game’

Creepy and vile 🤢

No, I think very rarely a woman with 3 kids would like to burden herself with an actual man child child, but it's completely nonsensical. Not like she would get kudos for it!

Life experience really counts for quite a bit though.

I have an 18yo. A 40+ yo would absolutely run rings around an 18yo. The things you experience or see during 20+ years of adulthood educate and change you.

I suppose you just have to hope that the 18yo has a 40+ parent looking out for them.

I would say that a 40+ yo being involved with an 18yo is a predator.