Grown Men Dating Teenagers

[ReallyDubious]

I have a male acquaintance who expressed a really concerning opinion about age gap relationships. He thinks that it is ok for a much older man to date younger women and teenagers as 'some women (or girls) are more mature than others'. Although I agree with that in principle, I do not agree that a teenager is ever mature enough to date a grown man.

He said he dated 'mature' teens when he was in his 40s and I'm seriously revolted at the thought. AIBU to think there is something seriously wrong with this man?

I think Leonardo DiCaprio is unattractive

him being a letch makes him unattractive and he is being called out by women in Hollywood he has become a bit of a joke

but really it isn’t funny it’s predatory creepy behaviour and times are changing it isn’t celebrated in the way it once was

Sam Taylor Wood was 43 when she started dating 19 year old Aaron Johnson…..

I think that when I see a woman that years younger than her boyfriend that he is with her due to his issues. He is a man that women of his own age will avoid due to any numbers of reasons.
I have a male relative who is now around 55/56. This man was in and out of relationships for years with woman who lived in his area. He went out with woman around his age in the past but these relationships ended. Over the years he did and said things to people that showed up his poor behaviour and his meaness. He is the type of man you tell your friends to avoid.
He is now living with his girlfriend who is 18 to 20 years younger than him. She was unemployed when she met him but is now working. He has his own home and decent income. His girlfriend is probably paying half his bills and the mortgage. He won't marry her because he owns valuable assets.

I think that when I see a woman that years younger than her boyfriend that he is with her due to his issues. He is a man that women of his own age will avoid due to any numbers of reasons.
I have a male relative who is now around 55/56. This man was in and out of relationships for years with woman who lived in his area. He went out with woman around his age in the past but these relationships ended. Over the years he did and said things to people that showed up his poor behaviour and his meaness. He is the type of man you tell your friends to avoid.
He is now living with his girlfriend who is 18 to 20 years younger than him. She was unemployed when she met him but is now working. He has his own home and decent income. His girlfriend is probably paying half his bills and the mortgage. He won't marry her because he owns valuable assets.

Yeah this. It's common in the world of celebrity. It makes me want to vomit tbh. These 50+ men ditch their wives, and NEVER go for a woman the same age. I just hate these men with a passion when they do this!

And Sam Taylor Wood is predatory too I was horrified when she was defended and worse actually celebrated for acting just like many creepy men

but we know from experience this happens far less

I guess the proof of the pudding is in the eating so should we all ask ourselves how many of these millions of dysfunctional relationships wind up with people dead or in prison.

It's revolting and I get rid of anyone in my life who would do this or is okay with this. I had a friend and also a love interest (2 seperate men) say they were okay with this. We had great connections. I blocked both. They still try and get in touch and can't understand my problem or why I'd sacrifice friendships

It harmed me and Every Girl i knew who went with older guys. EVERY girl. None are still with them.

It harmed me terribly and for a long time. I couldn't see it for what it was.

''@KimberleyClark

Sam Taylor Wood was 43 when she started dating 19 year old Aaron Johnson…..''

Yes and I find it equally creepy.

It does not matter to me if it is a a man or a woman, or whether they are gay or straight.

To me any middle aged person dating a teenager is dodgy and predatory.

Once you are in your 20s with a bit more experience of life and relationships then fair enough if you make an informed decision to choose to date/marry someone much older.

My son who is in his mid 30s would be repulsed at the thought of being with someone younger than mid 20s.

Well that’s absolute nonsense and you know it - some of the better companies I work with are run by women.
As a man I have massive amounts of respect for anyone doing ‘big’ things regardless of gender - and 99% of other men do too.

Sexism has no place in the modern world, and that applies to your post too.

So out of the 1000s of women on here not one can confirm that at 60 or older, she is blissfully happy with her husband who she started dating when she was a teenager and he was in his 40s.
If you are not still together then the relationship was not good.

Is that even legal? I always thought you had to be an adult to date an adult. Looks like I was wrong!

Quite a few celebrity women are with much younger men too. Its not as frequent as the other way round, and the age gap usually isn't as large, but it does happen a lot more often than it would in the 'real world'.

The rich and famous might as well live on another planet. For the vast majority of 'ordinary' women, much older men are not considered any sort of catch. Like you, I know few if any women who actually prefer older men, however much some men would like to believe otherwise.

I agree with all of this.

I don’t get what some people think is so weird about teenage girls/young women finding older men attractive (leaving aside, for the moment, the issue of whether they should actually date them). A lot of teenage boys and young men have baby faces, which aren’t attractive if you’re into very masculine men. I was a teenager in the early 2000s, and my friends and I all had big crushes on Viggo Mortensen - as Aragorn, with the beard. He was old enough to be our dad and actually had a son around our age. But he was objectively sexy and we really didn’t give a damn how old he was. (Fast-forward to now and my husband has long hair and a beard. 😂)

Unless an older person is a younger person’s teacher or boss or something like that, there’s only a “difference in power” between older and younger people, favoring older people, if the older people try to exert power and if the younger people accept that. It depends on the personalities involved - if you want a great example of a younger partner having emotional power over an older partner, go read about Lord Alfred Douglas and Oscar Wilde. Some older men are so enamored of beautiful younger women that they let the women walk all over them. (This was pretty much the dynamic between Anna Nicole Smith and her elderly husband.) Some older men date beautiful younger women and hope to push them around. Once everyone is the age of consent, it’s not some failproof mathematical formula where this age plus that age equals abusive older partner.

I don’t really understand women who think it would be so inappropriate for them to be attracted to men fifteen years younger. I grew up with my mom having a crush on Matt Damon when he was in his late twenties and she was in her forties. As a bisexual woman, I don’t get what’s so difficult to understand about older men being attracted to women in their twenties, either.

A nonce is someone who has a sexual interest in childen . Age 18-20 is an adult. And it's legal.
Get over yourself

Seriously. Actual pedophiles are sexually attracted to prepubescent children, because of their prepubescent characteristics. We’ve gotten to this point as a society where we feel like pedophilia is one of the last real taboos, so people trying to describe their aversion to age-gap relationships grasp around for a word to get that aversion across and land on “pedophile” or “nonce.”

I am glad that the man in your 1st example got over his midlife crisis, and that he is happy now. I do hope the same can be said about the young barmaids he 'acted inappropriatelywith' (ie exploited).

'@LakeTiticaca

A nonce is someone who has a sexual interest in childen'

To me a nonce is also the type of predator who will groom/date a teenager, especially a naive and vulnerable one, because they know that they might get away with it legally. They know full well they would likely end up in jail if they did the same thing to a child...

I am not sure why you are so keen to defend middle aged creeps dating teens anyway?

Young people who are 18- 19 should be dating other young people close to their age and enjoy their youth. Not be fair game for those old enough to be their parents...

She never said she thought it was okay. She said she could understand why they might.

If you so passionate about sexism then you should be aware how rife it still is regardless of how progressive your company is and those you work with

and your post proves that you have little awareness of just how sexist our society still is towards woman

but do continue to tell us how things really are

Anthony Keidis is 60 and always dates women in their late teens/early 20s. Some look like he’s out with his grand daughter 🤢

And it’s sex not gender Deathbyfluffy

sexism is about the prejudice, discrimination and stereotyping because of our sex not our gender