Grown Men Dating Teenagers

[ReallyDubious]

I have a male acquaintance who expressed a really concerning opinion about age gap relationships. He thinks that it is ok for a much older man to date younger women and teenagers as 'some women (or girls) are more mature than others'. Although I agree with that in principle, I do not agree that a teenager is ever mature enough to date a grown man.

He said he dated 'mature' teens when he was in his 40s and I'm seriously revolted at the thought. AIBU to think there is something seriously wrong with this man?

Also, whilst I adore Celine Dion, and am pretty sure her love for her husband was pure and genuine, something about the fact they met when she was 12 and he was 38, (and started their relationship when she was 19 and he was 45,) makes me feel a bit 😖!!!

Very few people bring up Celine and her husband Rene, but they are definitely one of those big age gap couples where the younger partner was very young when they started.

Maxwell Caulfield and Juliet Mills is a similar example, but Maxwell was a little older. He was 20 when he met Juliet Mills. Not such a big age gap - 18 years - but now he is 64 and she is 82, she 100% looks like his mother.

What do you think about the concept of a woman raping a man? I think it's quite a new concept legally. I guess the reason is that a man can rape a woman even if she's not aroused and that can do her immense mental and physical harm but if a woman wants to rape a man he's got to be up for it.

Gosh I will have to give that a bit of thought, but yeah, the chance of a woman raping a man has surely got to be vanishingly rare! Unless she drugs him then does things to him (Sorry not sure how to word it without sounding grim!) I can imagine this being an extremely rare occurrence though.

As you say, it would be pretty hard for a woman to rape a man. I doubt anyone in the age gap relationships I mentioned - where the younger person was only 18-ish was raped (I hope not!) But there is still something very unsavoury about a teenager and a middle aged person. And it's a bit worse (IMO) when it's the man who is older. (That's just my opinion, and I can't explain why I feel like this!)

And odd as it may seem if it isn't your thing, quite a lot of younger women find older men attractive, and sometimes even more attractive than younger men.

"Quite a lot" of women do not. A small minority might.

The vast majority of women prefer to date men around their own age.

I understand - I was about to post my ds wouldn’t date a teen although a 5 yr age gap isn’t the end of the world and the ages were the same as your post!

Regardless of the maturity of that particular individual, science tells us people that age haven’t reached their full maturity. That makes me question what the motivation is to date them, and in my experience it’s typically about a desire for power in the relationship.

Why don't you contact her and her family on social media to give her the heads up? Xxx

There's a Mumfluencer that married her teacher - met when she was 16/17 at school and he is 13 years older than her. I think it's gross and he is essentially a paedophile that abused his position of trust. They have two kids together now and splash it all over Instagram so it's worked for them. He was I believe asked to leave the school and no longer teaches (she keeps that bit quiet on insta....)

Yeah this. ^ I can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of women I have ever known who are attracted to much older men. Yes of course it's not uncommon for a 21-25 y.o. to fancy a 35 y.o. I fancied Johnny Depp a few years ago when I was 19 and he was 27, and I also thought a bloke a work was a bit of all right when I was 20 and he was 29. But it's rare for any woman to fancy a man of 50+ when she is late teens/early 20s.

So yeah, some younger women may fancy men about decade older. But when push comes to shove, most women in their 20s are not going to go for/marry a man old enough to be their dad. As you said, most people will settle with someone within several years of their own age.

Lots of younger women seem to fancy 'hot' actors like George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt etc, but at the end of the day, most will not go for a man over 55 when they're in their 20s, not in 'real life.' The women in their 20s and 30s who marry these famous men over 50-55 are marrying them for their money and fame 95% of the time.

When I was 18 I got into a relationship with a man aged 28. Not a massive gap but too big for a teenager. He wasn’t predatory and we were together for 7 years. However looking back now it was very weird of him, when I was 27 I was definitely not attracted to teenagers. I still had braces!

Until recently I had a friend early 40s who mainly dated women in their early 20s. Younger women have less baggage but they are also more immature and impressionable. When I hear of men who only date much younger women I wonder why women their own age don’t want them

I agree in principle, but actually Leonardo is very attractive and I think he looks a lot younger than fifty. Overall, you are right, though.

While this is unfortunate, I don't really think it's in the same ballpark as a man in his forties dating someone in her teens. It seems that this woman has chosen this dull older man, so unless and until she gets sick of it, it seems that Pete will be her portion. I'm sorry for her but I'm not sure that I think that the relationship is problematic.

Yes Leonardo IS attractive, but there is still something icky (IMO) about him dating 20 year olds when he's nearly 50! He gets older and older, and his girlfriends don't. He started dating Gisele when she was 19-20 and he was 25-26, and whilst he has got older and older, his girlfriends have stayed under 25. A bit grim (IMO.)

My skin crawls when I remember the group of men in their 30s who groomed me and my friend when we were school-leavers. We were harmlessly silly. They were a bunch of exploitative and dishonest lechers.

Yeah I do kind of agree. But it's just a example (IMO) of how dating a much older man - over 30 years older - has no benefit to the woman whatsoever. This young woman is a shadow of her former self.

Oh, it is! I'm ashamed to admit I have a soft spot for ol' Leo, even though at a mere nine years younger than him he would no doubt regard me with disgust. That said, he isn't as bad as Pacino.

I started working part time in a hotel at 15 and was around adults for pretty much all of my free time.

I moved in with a man 10 years older than me at 17.

At 19 bought my own house and had a relationship with a man 14 years older than me. Was single from 21 to 24 with just some casual flings.

Met now husband when I was 24 and he was 26.

I genuinely don’t think anything was weird about my earlier relationships. I stayed friends with the second guy and he came to our wedding! We’re still friends 20 years later (and I’m still married).

If anyone I know who is over 40 would say they are dating a 18-20 year old I would think they are, quite literally, a nonce, but are trying to stay "legal".

Never a truer word Mrs P

That said, a friend’s daughter got married recently at 24 to a man who is over 60. I thought it must be her grandad in the pictures but it was the groom. (She lost her dad as a young child in tragic circumstances so maybe that was a factor.). They seem happy.

I don't mind age gaps but I hate men who turn in their faithful wives for a younger model. I read it on here often and it really bothers me

Oh dear. I hope she'll be ok, but even if the relationship works out, she will be looking after him when she is in her forties and fifties, if he survives to that age.

The man is predatory and I would be wary of him around young woman

I had an older boyfriend at 17 I loved that he treated me like a woman 🙄 he loved he had a young inexperienced girl who he could manipulate. I was naive at 17 you should be you are still learning about relationships and complexities of life

ds is 16 I would be horrified a 25 year old woman interested in him but let’s face it thankfully for boys it rarely happens

You can be mature and naive at the same time. With age comes wisdom, and many men don't like being called out for their shit, so it's easier to go for a woman 10-15 years+ younger because they get away with a lot more.

In a parallel universe, I wonder what would happen if women started off in life outspoken and wise to men's BS, and gradually got more naive and trusting as they got older instead of the other way around. Because I don't actually think men go for younger purely for youthful looks and fertility (that's more a bonus), it's just women in their 20s take more shit and put up with more than women in their 30s onwards. Basically their old appliance started malfunctioning and nagging them, so they got a newer/younger version that barely makes a sound and does exactly what they want it to do.

I would question the sanity of a 25 year old woman who was attracted to a 16 year old boy. Teen boys are not attractive in any way, shape or form.