Page 14 | Grown Men Dating Teenagers

ReallyDubious · 2024-05-05T20:57:11+00:00

I have a male acquaintance who expressed a really concerning opinion about age gap relationships. He thinks that it is ok for a much older man to date younger women and teenagers as 'some women (or girls) are more mature than others'. Although I agree with that in principle, I do not agree that a teenager is ever mature enough to date a grown man. He said he dated 'mature' teens when he was in his 40s and I'm seriously revolted at the thought. AIBU to think there is something seriously wrong with this man?

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 20:47

It is a bit harsh to judge him. I mean the woman is with him by her own volition, nobody's making her date him. He is a very successful handsome man - what is the issue ultimately?

I must say many of the posters on here just sound a little bitter and jealous.

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 20:50

SabreIsMyFave · 12/05/2024 11:48

Exactly! The vast majority of men over 45 who are so desperate to date a woman, (and preferably a much younger one,) have fuck-all 'power and resources.' 😆 As has been said, most of them will be dishing out money to the ex, and their children. If he has never been married/has no ex and children, then you have to ask why.

Most of these single middle aged men (and some who are married!) are pretty repugnant, yet the really think they are the bees knees. They are mostly boring, balding, and out of shape, and they are lazy, and have zero hobbies. And as a pp said, many have an addiction to porn, and are misogynistic. The vast majority are a terrible catch.

I have a friend right now - she and her DH are late 50s - and she said she would leave him if she could afford to live alone, and was 10-15 years younger. He is boring and dull and lazy, he never lifts a finger in the house, he has zero hobbies, and he never leaves the house except to go to work (3 days a week he does!)

AND she knows he talks to young women online as she can see him doing it! (He doesn't know this!) He does it on Twitter and Facebook. He 'likes' most pictures of attractive young fit 18-25 y.o. women, and comments on them, saying things like 'you are hot babe!' and 'wish I was that chair!' when a young, almost-naked woman is straddling a chair/has her legs wrapped round it. When you meet him, he is a nice, happy-go-lucky, pleasant, friendly, affable chap. But underneath, he is a creepy misogynist pig who lusts after women 30-35 years younger.

They haven't had sex for 14-15 years because he had issues (erectile disfunction,) and she really isn't fussed - and assumed he wasn't. Yet he seems to lust after it with much younger women. (Younger than their daughter.) Dirty fucking pig. I can barely bring myself to look at him, or speak to him since she told me this the other week. 😖

Women don't do this... Trawl the internet for pictures of random men 30-35 years younger, and try to engage in conversation with them, hitting on them, posting sleazy comments, and 'liking' all the photos. What the actual fucking fuck is wrong with men?! I'm not even saying SOME men, because I believe deep down, that all men (45+) have it in them somewhere. (That sleazy 'I wanna fuck a hot young girl between 16 and 25 who is wearing stockings and suspenders and high heels!' thought.) Vile. 😖

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You sound lovely 🤣🤣

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 20:52

IcedPurple · 06/05/2024 17:09

It’s totally natural for middle aged men to be attracted to older teen girls - they represent youth, vitality and fertility.

By the same token, it's totally unnatural for 'teen girls' to be with middle aged men. Most of them have very little to offer.

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How do you know ? Are you intimately involved with all these middle aged men? You sound very judgmental and sanctimonious tbh

IcedPurple · 12/05/2024 21:01

Are you intimately involved with all these middle aged men?

Hell no, I'm not!

Despite being middle aged myself, the typical middle aged man has no appeal for me. When I was a teenager, the very idea would have been laughable.

Men can be so divorced from reality.

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:06

IcedPurple · 12/05/2024 21:01

Are you intimately involved with all these middle aged men?

Hell no, I'm not!

Despite being middle aged myself, the typical middle aged man has no appeal for me. When I was a teenager, the very idea would have been laughable.

Men can be so divorced from reality.

You just sound a little bit ignorant to be honest. How do you know what a middle person man or woman has to offer in a complicated intimate relationship?

Everyone of any age or gender has a right to a fulfilling intimate relationship.

Being judgemental and a bit nasty is just frankly a bit cruel

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:09

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IcedPurple · 12/05/2024 21:10

Everyone of any age or gender has a right to a fulfilling intimate relationship.

Huh?

A relationship, by definition, involves another person. Nobody has any rights over another person!

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:18

Everyone of any age or gender has a right to a fulfilling intimate relationship.

No they have the right to look for a relationship, and they have the right to be in a relationship, but they don't have the right to a relationship because its a want not a need. You cannot confer a right to one person that needs 2 people to consent.

And I assume the "any age" was a misspeak on your part because you were just thinking about adults and you didn't really mean to imply that small children have the right to an intimate (ie sexual) relationship...

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:21

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That poster is talking about how she, and her friends, feel. She is not unhinged to feel that way or to explain how she feels in a conversation on the topic

The need to push someone's boundaries by implying that their personal preferences are "unhinged" is quite off

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:22

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:18

Everyone of any age or gender has a right to a fulfilling intimate relationship.

No they have the right to look for a relationship, and they have the right to be in a relationship, but they don't have the right to a relationship because its a want not a need. You cannot confer a right to one person that needs 2 people to consent.

And I assume the "any age" was a misspeak on your part because you were just thinking about adults and you didn't really mean to imply that small children have the right to an intimate (ie sexual) relationship...

Of course I mean adults 👩

ffs

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:23

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:21

That poster is talking about how she, and her friends, feel. She is not unhinged to feel that way or to explain how she feels in a conversation on the topic

The need to push someone's boundaries by implying that their personal preferences are "unhinged" is quite off

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Well to say a perfectly consensual reciprocal age gap is physically repulsive just sounds immature to be frank

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:24

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:22

Of course I mean adults 👩

ffs

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Then say adults

I've seen more than a few posts on social media over the years trying to normalise sexual relationships with children so there's no ffs about it

And tbf I did give you the benefit of the doubt and express my assumption that you mean adults

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:27

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:23

Well to say a perfectly consensual reciprocal age gap is physically repulsive just sounds immature to be frank

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No to say that she personally would be repulsed by such an age gap is completely appropriate and there is nothing immature about knowing your own boundaries

There is something immature about trying to make someone feel like their own personal boundaries are wrong though

She can feel like she would only want a sexual relationship with someone the exact same age as her if she wanted. It's her preferences, her boundaries and she's hurting no one

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:32

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:27

No to say that she personally would be repulsed by such an age gap is completely appropriate and there is nothing immature about knowing your own boundaries

There is something immature about trying to make someone feel like their own personal boundaries are wrong though

She can feel like she would only want a sexual relationship with someone the exact same age as her if she wanted. It's her preferences, her boundaries and she's hurting no one

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Do you believe that people can feel love for someone with no rational thought whatsoever? The whole premise of love and intimacy is about letting go of our societal expectations and constraints ( obviously 🙄 ensuring legal / ethical boundaries)

To be physically repulsed by a normal loving relationship is just ridiculous. I am afraid that is a fact

WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou · 12/05/2024 21:33

Foxblue · 05/05/2024 22:11

You aren't wrong, but someone will be along to say that they moved out at 17, and had a toddler and their own flat and were very mature for their age at 19 when they met their DH who was then 32 but 'has always been young at heart' and took on a toddler as his own and they are happily married 25 years later with two more kids blah blah.
And if you ask what they/DH would think of. their 19 year old daughter dating a 32 year old man they'll go 'well, that was different, i was very mature for my age'
And they'll say 'I pursued him actually, not the other way round'
And they'll say 'its only on mumsnet that people think age gaps are weird, my parents were worried at first but they grew to love DH and noone else in our lives found it weird'
And if you ask them if at age 32 they found 19 year old men attractive it's tumbleweed....

^^

Spot on

WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou · 12/05/2024 21:34

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2024 22:17

Men always think girls and women are more mature when it comes to them having sex, but never when it comes to running companies, ruling countries or making decisions.

I wonder why...

Again, spot on. My gosh the first posts are nailing it

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:37

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:32

Do you believe that people can feel love for someone with no rational thought whatsoever? The whole premise of love and intimacy is about letting go of our societal expectations and constraints ( obviously 🙄 ensuring legal / ethical boundaries)

To be physically repulsed by a normal loving relationship is just ridiculous. I am afraid that is a fact

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No love and intimacy can absolutely be hand within societal expectation and constraints

However the attempts to ridicule womens boundaries and to try to force them to let go of them, as if you have any say of who they are and aren't attracted to is ridiculous

You don't get to say what someone else's boundaries are, and trying to ridicule them into believing they should have intimate relationships they feel repulsed by is in itself repulsive.

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:37

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:24

Then say adults

I've seen more than a few posts on social media over the years trying to normalise sexual relationships with children so there's no ffs about it

And tbf I did give you the benefit of the doubt and express my assumption that you mean adults

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Incidentally again of course I mean two consenting adults with regards to the right to a loving relationship

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:40

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:37

No love and intimacy can absolutely be hand within societal expectation and constraints

However the attempts to ridicule womens boundaries and to try to force them to let go of them, as if you have any say of who they are and aren't attracted to is ridiculous

You don't get to say what someone else's boundaries are, and trying to ridicule them into believing they should have intimate relationships they feel repulsed by is in itself repulsive.

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You are not making any sense. Just take a minute to reflect on the reality of a relationship between two human beings. You will understand what I am driving at.

out of interest how do you feel about a 60 year old woman dating a 40 year old man?

does that repulse you?

you see how stupid it sounds?

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:44

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:40

You are not making any sense. Just take a minute to reflect on the reality of a relationship between two human beings. You will understand what I am driving at.

out of interest how do you feel about a 60 year old woman dating a 40 year old man?

does that repulse you?

you see how stupid it sounds?

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I am making sense

A poster said: a relationship with a younger man would repulse me

That's her boundary, her right, there is nothing ridiculous about that and no one has the right to ridicule that or tell her her boundary is wrong

If I was a 60 year old woman I would feel repulsed by a relationship with a 40 year old man. Again me, because this is someone's personal boundaries you are having a go at, not just some hypothetical woman

No I don't think it's stupid if I don't want a relationship with a man 20 years younger than me. I think that's my choice.

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:45

Oh for all of you crazy people judging age gaps in relationships. - President Macron of France is 46 and his wife is ...71

repulsive right ? 🤣

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:47

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:44

I am making sense

A poster said: a relationship with a younger man would repulse me

That's her boundary, her right, there is nothing ridiculous about that and no one has the right to ridicule that or tell her her boundary is wrong

If I was a 60 year old woman I would feel repulsed by a relationship with a 40 year old man. Again me, because this is someone's personal boundaries you are having a go at, not just some hypothetical woman

No I don't think it's stupid if I don't want a relationship with a man 20 years younger than me. I think that's my choice.

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Sorry you can't hide behind "it's my choice " to justify a totally illogical argument.

the seemingly ( for many on here) is that love and intimacy transcends age groups and beyond.

Thank god we are not governed by the distorted moral compass of your view

bradpittsbathwater · 12/05/2024 21:50

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:45

Oh for all of you crazy people judging age gaps in relationships. - President Macron of France is 46 and his wife is ...71

repulsive right ? 🤣

Yes it is repulsive

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:52

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:47

Sorry you can't hide behind "it's my choice " to justify a totally illogical argument.

the seemingly ( for many on here) is that love and intimacy transcends age groups and beyond.

Thank god we are not governed by the distorted moral compass of your view

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Okay let me try this one more time

A poster said that for her a relationship with a man much younger would be repulsive. I happen to agree, for me personally

That's not illogical it's personal choice. Dating and relationships aren't equal opportunities. I can have whatever boundaries I want. I could only date men with blue eyes or I could only date women who could ski if I wanted to. I can be as picky as I want within my own relationships.

My choice doesn't impinge on your choice. Because I don't want to date someone 20 years younger doesn't mean you can't, within legal boundaries. I am not seeing to govern you with my preferences for a relationship.

You took a statement someone said about their own preferences, and then somehow took offence as if it limited your own options when it did no such thing.

You are the one being illogical here by trying to act like someone else's boundaries impinge on your right to be in a relationship with a person of an age you feel is appropriate

Cornwall850 · 12/05/2024 21:56

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 21:52

Okay let me try this one more time

A poster said that for her a relationship with a man much younger would be repulsive. I happen to agree, for me personally

That's not illogical it's personal choice. Dating and relationships aren't equal opportunities. I can have whatever boundaries I want. I could only date men with blue eyes or I could only date women who could ski if I wanted to. I can be as picky as I want within my own relationships.

My choice doesn't impinge on your choice. Because I don't want to date someone 20 years younger doesn't mean you can't, within legal boundaries. I am not seeing to govern you with my preferences for a relationship.

You took a statement someone said about their own preferences, and then somehow took offence as if it limited your own options when it did no such thing.

You are the one being illogical here by trying to act like someone else's boundaries impinge on your right to be in a relationship with a person of an age you feel is appropriate

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Now you it sounds like you are trying to
wriggle out of a really stupid position.

My main point is - how can you be repulsed by a loving relationship between two consenting adults at the age range you / the various posters here have stated? Don't you see how morally bankrupt that sort of view is?

If you don't want to understand I can't help you I'm afraid 😱