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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should pay for these tickets?

189 replies

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 14:53

I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

OP posts:
Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 15:12

TigerJoy · 06/05/2024 15:01

This situation is entirely of your own making, OP.

I've been on both sides of this with tickets for concerts, and it is not mortifying in the least to be upfront about the financial side of things. "A friend has pulled out, I have a spare ticket going, £15 if you'd like it?". Friends post this kind of thing on facebook all the time. I suspect the only reason you didn't do this is because you are petty and annoyed with the people who pulled out and you'd really like them to pay for it.

The people who took the tickets and attended the event absolutely should have offered to pay. I invited a friend to a concert last night, no mention of money, afterwards he offered to pay for his ticket, which I refused. I've never taken someone out for a concert or ticketed event without them offering to pay, at least once. It's only polite.

However it's now a mess as you weren't clear with anyone about who you expected to pay. You absolutely could insist that the original people pay for the tickets and pursue their £15 from the people who attended but that will make 4 people annoyed with you.

Up to you how much being right and £30 is worth to you.

Oh come on, I’m not going to ask people coming to an event they didn’t choose for £15.

If you tell someone to order you a ticket and you’ll send the money, you send the money. If you cancel then it’s tough.

OP posts:
ChateauMargaux · 06/05/2024 15:13

OP.. you have gotten yourself into this mess.

You offered to buy tickets for two flaky tight friends and did not chase them for payment.

You then found two other people to join you but without clarifying with anyone.. you decided that the original people should pay and the two late stand ins should attend the concert for free. If you felt they were doing you a favour and would not otherwise have attended.... you could have offered to shoulder the cost.... but that is your choice. You took it upon yourself to offer the tickets, you should have made your expectations very clear at that point... A and B.. you still owe me the money... C and D.. if you want to come, you can offer A and B money for the ticket.

The original people would reasonably have assumed that the people who used the tickets would pay.

The stand ins could also reasonably assume that the 'spare' tickets were free but they shouldn't have done so.. they should have offered to pay.

HoHoHoliday · 06/05/2024 15:22

Cheryl and Jessica should pay for the tickets, they went to the event with you.

If Sarah and Philippa had paid then the tickets wouldn't be yours to reallocate. But as you did reallocate to Cheryl and Jessica you were telling Sarah and Philippa that they were off the hook.

Gazelda · 06/05/2024 16:49

OP, you're not prepared to accept any of this as being your fault, are you?

You're determined that S and P are wholly in the wrong. I agree that both are poor for not paying immediately, and for dropping out.

But you didn't chase them for payment.
You didn't tell them they needed to pay.
You told them you'd found others to take the tickets.
They quite reasonably seem to have assumed that C and J are paying for tickets because they went to the event.
C and J quite reasonably assumed the tickets were paid for as the event was booked months ago. You didn't ask them to pay for the tickets.

The bottom line is that you haven't communicated well and each pair are understandably assuming you've been paid somewhere along the line.

But I'm sorry you're in this situation. It seems bloody unfair that you are out of pocket despite having organised and reorganised the event.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 17:02

Gazelda · 06/05/2024 16:49

OP, you're not prepared to accept any of this as being your fault, are you?

You're determined that S and P are wholly in the wrong. I agree that both are poor for not paying immediately, and for dropping out.

But you didn't chase them for payment.
You didn't tell them they needed to pay.
You told them you'd found others to take the tickets.
They quite reasonably seem to have assumed that C and J are paying for tickets because they went to the event.
C and J quite reasonably assumed the tickets were paid for as the event was booked months ago. You didn't ask them to pay for the tickets.

The bottom line is that you haven't communicated well and each pair are understandably assuming you've been paid somewhere along the line.

But I'm sorry you're in this situation. It seems bloody unfair that you are out of pocket despite having organised and reorganised the event.

I wouldn’t say I organised it. We were at the location for another event and it was suggested we got the tickets for this event while we were there. We asked for three tickets and somehow it went on my card. It could’ve easily been one of theirs, and both of them would’ve asked for the money immediately. My mistake was trusting that they’d pay.

If they had paid, I wonder whether they’d have asked for their money back because Jessica and Cheryl used the tickets. I suspect not.

OP posts:
diddl · 06/05/2024 17:04

Why didn't you each pay for your own ticket there & then?

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 17:11

diddl · 06/05/2024 17:04

Why didn't you each pay for your own ticket there & then?

I’m not sure. Probably just to save the receptionist the hassle of three transactions.

OP posts:
Bluestarling · 06/05/2024 17:17

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 05/05/2024 16:39

I know. I just think I’m right.

Show quote history

Yep but you're the one whose £30 down too !

OneTC · 06/05/2024 17:18

Gazelda · 06/05/2024 16:49

OP, you're not prepared to accept any of this as being your fault, are you?

You're determined that S and P are wholly in the wrong. I agree that both are poor for not paying immediately, and for dropping out.

But you didn't chase them for payment.
You didn't tell them they needed to pay.
You told them you'd found others to take the tickets.
They quite reasonably seem to have assumed that C and J are paying for tickets because they went to the event.
C and J quite reasonably assumed the tickets were paid for as the event was booked months ago. You didn't ask them to pay for the tickets.

The bottom line is that you haven't communicated well and each pair are understandably assuming you've been paid somewhere along the line.

But I'm sorry you're in this situation. It seems bloody unfair that you are out of pocket despite having organised and reorganised the event.

I don't chase my mates for payment because they wouldn't bump me, like they've bumped OP

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 17:19

Bluestarling · 06/05/2024 17:17

Yep but you're the one whose £30 down too !

Show quote history

Erm, right.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 17:21

OneTC · 06/05/2024 17:18

I don't chase my mates for payment because they wouldn't bump me, like they've bumped OP

Show quote history

Indeed.

OP posts:
Bluestarling · 06/05/2024 17:22

Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 17:19

Erm, right.

Show quote history

So enjoy being right and suck it up...and don't buy tickets are flakey mates again...or put a thread on here if you don't expect people to have a view different to what you expected

diddl · 06/05/2024 17:23

Well yes-if I owed someone money it would be on my mind until I paid them back.

I suppose other people have lots more going on & it wouldn't be a priority/soon forgotten.

Original poster
Ppejfhfhrhhfhf · 06/05/2024 17:28

Bluestarling · 06/05/2024 17:22

So enjoy being right and suck it up...and don't buy tickets are flakey mates again...or put a thread on here if you don't expect people to have a view different to what you expected

Show quote history

😂There’s no need to get upset over it.

OP posts:
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