Who should pay for these tickets?

[Ppejfhfhrhhfhf]

I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

I know. I just think I’m right.

YABU

I don't see how you've come to that conclusion when they never paid in the first place, though.

As it is, you paid for three tickets.
J & C attended the event with you and didn't reimburse you for the tickets they used.
The fact that P & S originally agreed to go is neither here nor there really.

You’re not, and the responses here have shown you that.

YABU you need to be much clearer with your communication. Yes, S &P should have definitely paid you originally but most people imagine that if you find someone to take your place, they will pay for the ticket. If this is not the case, it should have been made clear to S&P that the people attending were not willing to pay for the ticket and they would still be expected to pay. The only benefit of C&J going was to stop you wasting your ticket.

And they haven’t paid, since February. I should’ve already had the money. I wasn’t holding the tickets with them deciding whether to come. They’d agreed to pay.

Yeah, they agreed to pay. But that was negated when you gave them the impression that C & J were taking over that obligation.

I think they should have paid you instantly in February - but you were clearly happy enough that they didn’t.

I think this all stems from you being cross that they were flaky.

If these were 2 people that you actually liked, with a good reason (sisters whose mother had been taken very ill for example) then you’d have realised it was your error and not really cared.

I think that’s why you’re not being rational that the poor communication is your fault. If you’d just posted, “AIBU to think S & P are flaky twats?” the 90% vote would have been in your favour 😉

Okay, just RTFT and I have thoughts! As you’re hungover, bored and this is more of a curiosity thread, I’ll share!

I voted YABU and fundamentally still stand by this as I’d assume I’m paying for anything I attended so I think Cheryl and Jessica should pay. However, I’m probably a bit like you, OP, and I’d also rather something be used, so I do kiiiinda get where you’re coming from.

All that said, I think you were the organiser (or at least the ticket organiser) and I think yo should have pushed for payment more quickly after purchase. As S&P hadn’t paid yet, it’s not awful of them to assume you’d get payment from new attendees. Similarly, you offered the tickets up without asking for dosh from C&J, so forgave them. So, in conclusion to my Ted talk about miscommunication 101, I think S/P/C/J could all legitimately assume they were off the hook.

I don’t think your logic is wrong, but you just need to be clearer, earlier, and spell it out, in writing, especially to people who are tight. Because now they can say “well, I would’ve still come if I knew I had to pay!” even if that is bollocks.

I’m hungover too.

Did the 2 that went only go because they assumed the tickets were free?

If I was Sarah or Philippa, I’d have expected to pay if I’d dropped out and no one else wanted my ticket. However, if I was then told that someone else wanted my ticket, I’d expect them to pay. Why wouldn’t they? They went to the event. Why would they expect it to be free?

OP if this was a holiday, costing hundreds of £££, would you expect Sarah/Philippa to give Cheryl/Jessica a free holiday?

That said, if you led Cheryl and Jessica to believe that the tickets were free, then that was your mistake. You’ll probably have to take the hit yourself.

What seems strange is that neither of the attendees offered to pay for their tickets, is it normal in your friendship group that you're happy to go to stuff without paying?

This. You say you're not a ticket resale service which is true as you don't appear to have made any sales. You're a ticket gifting service at this point.

If you offered up the tickets for free then you’re stuck with the bill. You had no right to do that.

And have you communicated this at any point or been expecting everyone concerned to be mind readers?

One of the original "buyers" said she was short of cash and asked could you find someone to replace her. The two who went seem to be under the impression they don't have anything to pay. You need to be much clearer with your communication I'd say.

If your point is the first two should have paid straight away then I agree but they didn't and then you have the tickets to someone else without checking with anyone who would pay so the first two are no longer required to pay.

If you'd chase up and got the payment before passing the tickets on then it would be a different story and you wouldn't have been wrong.

I don't know why you were asking S&P if C&J could have their tickets.

They were all your tickets!

Do S&P know that C&J didn't pay?

Do C&J know that they were expected to pay?

It’s £30 at the end of the day. Take the hit and don’t front costs for Sarah and Philippa again.

I voted YABU but now I’ve read the full post I actually think it’s more complicated than that.
They should have paid when you bought the tickets & there should have been better communication as to if they wanted to ‘sell’ the tickets when they couldn’t go.
I think pulling out at short notice makes a difference. I recently couldn’t attend an event which I’d book with a friend. I gave her a weeks notice & I was gutted not to be able to attend. I felt bad for letting her down even though it was unavoidable. I said find someone to take the ticket & I don’t want any cash. She did and said she’d do a transfer but I said again that I didn’t expect that.

Are you really that petty and spiteful?

The people who went should pay

The tickets weren't 'spare' they were resold to the people that went instead

The people who went should pay for the tickets ( you, Cheryl and Jessica).

If you couldn’t get anyone to go, then the original 2 should have paid for their tickets.

Cheryl and Jessica essentially bought the tickets from Sarah and Phillipa but because they hadn’t paid you yet, they would give the money to you instead of Sarah and Phillipa.

In future, get the money for the tickets asap and then if someone can’t come they can try and sell them on or lose the money.

Agree. I once went to a panto last minute when somebody was ill. I insisted on paying for the ticket. Poor show on the two that went, I think.

The problem is the OP and her bad comms- the way she phrased it to the new people suggested the tickets were free, as she still expected the first two friends to cough up, while she told the first two friends she is offering the tickets to two new people- so they assumed they were off the hook, like most people would. She didnt make it clear to anyone and expected people to read her mind about wanting to be reimbursed.

I think Sarah and Philipa should pay you as they originally said they wanted to go. They can ask Cheryl and Jessica for the money but that's nothing to do with you.
They were the ones who agreed to pay so that's what they should do

Well you should have made clear to the new people coming what they score was. Are they paying or are they benefiting from a free ticket. I’d pay my friend if I could no longer go to a concert.

The ones who went should pay.

I think you've got them to come by saying they were 'spare' tickets so they were under the impression they were free.

So you can't ask them, that's why you're insisting you're right that the original 2 should pay.

They won't, it's your mistake to have given the tickets for free.

Don't pay for tickets again!