Who should pay for these tickets?

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I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

Sarah and Phillipa should have paid initially, then got the money from Cheryl and Jessica.

As it stands its Cheryl and Jessica that should pay.

Sarah and Phillipa aren't very good friends to decide that they wouldn't pay, knowing you had already paid for the tickets though.

To see if I am being unreasonable, and also I’m hungover and bored.

Group chat with all of them. Tell them all you don't care how they sort it out between them but you've had enough you want to be paid.

See who says what...

Why did you bother posting this if you’re only interested in receiving confirmation that your (originally unclear) viewpoint is right? 😂

The written it off is always the attitude I’d take, but obviously lots of people interpret it as them getting off the hook for paying.

Exactly put them in a chat and let them decide what's fair

Then if have go on my own and at least I'd not be upset with anyone who cane and didn't pay. I would never have gone to an event abd expect a freebie, but all your friends ate freeloaders, so....I imagine if I had to drop out urgently before paying and the person who paid found someone in my place I'd not expect to have to pay.

Glad I'm not alone on this. I think it's the best way to do it.

Hi guys, slightly awkward but no one has paid me back for the tickets I bought for xyz. Here's my bank details you work out who is paying what.

It really depends exactly how you worded it to everyone.
If you made it sound like you had another taker for the ticket (both times) and it was your poor communication that made the S&P think C&J were now paying for them, but made C&J think they were free spares - then that’s on you.
If you made S&P feel they were off the hook, they didn’t have the chance to say, “wait up - if C/J don’t want to pay towards them, I’ll ask around for someone who will.”

C&J might think you were already paid for them so their free ticket wasn’t costing you. If they know you’re out of pocket, and aren’t giving a contribution that’s poor behaviour. But then if you didn’t make that clear and they genuinely don’t have the budget and wouldn’t have gone if they’d known, it’s unfair to expect it now.

So it all depends exactly what you said to everyone!

It isn’t an event you’d go to on your own.

They didn’t have to drop out urgently.

Did Cheryl and Jessica agree to buy the tickets, or did they think they were doing you a favour and they were going spare for free?
I'd say logically the people who attended should pay. If you couldn't re allocate them then the person who dropped out should.
Just ask the ones who came politely when they are going to pay and send bank details.

Generally in my friends and family whoever attends pays and usually people pay within a couple of days.

What did you say to Cheryl and Jessica when you offered them the tickets? Did you let them know they’d be expected to pay?

Well, both outcomes are reasonable, so you should have been clear with everyone.

Just checked the wording.

I said in a group chat ‘is it okay if Cheryl has the spare ticket to the event’.

Then Philippa asked if anyone wanted hers, then I said I couldn’t think of anyone. Then when Jessica said she’d come I sent the same message.

I said there was a spare ticket if they wanted to come.

S&P to pay you, C&J to pay S&P - Long ass winded way round of doing it? But it’s logically how it should look

It depends if Cheryl & Jessica thought they were being offered free tickets or not.
There's a lot of things I'd go and see if I was being offered a free ticket, but that I wouldn't want to pay for...
It also depends how much the tickets were - £20 is different to £80, which what some bands seem to be charging at the moment, and if that was spelt out to C & J.

You should have checked that the second pair knew they were having to pay , you cannot at this stage expect the first pair to pay for the other 2 to have a freebie .

Yup🙂

Well they were spare and still belonged to you if noone else had bought them from you?

Once Sarah and Philippa weren't going they were unlikely to pay you if they hadn't already. They're certainly not going to pay you knowing that 2 other people have had use of the tickets!

It was not a lot of money and it’s easily written off. It just annoys me that Sarah and Philippa said they’d pay, didn’t, then dropped out for spurious reasons.

I’m also clouded in my view because they’re both tight and would’ve hassled me for repayment the second they’d paid.

But did C & J think they were getting free tickets? Because if they did, it's not fair to ask them after the event if it wasn't mentioned before.

They were ‘bought’ on behalf of Sarah and Philippa. I’m not a ticket resale service.

I wouldn’t ask them, I’d be mortified.