Who should pay for these tickets?

[Ppejfhfhrhhfhf]

I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

Cheryl and Jessica should pay, unless you offered them for free, in which case it's up to you to pay, since you chose to gift the tickets. Philippa and Sarah shouldn't pay as it was your choice to gift the tickets not theirs, and there is no reason for them to pay for your other friends to attend the event.

We booked in February. The event was this week. Sarah dropped out with a week to spare and Philippa with four days.

It sounds like you've shot yourself in the foot as you were so adamant Phillipa should pay (which they should if you didn't find replacements) but you've ended up giving the tickets to other people without asking for payment.

You should have agreed something in advance eg those standing in to pay half

At first the original 2 should have paid however they both said they couldn’t go so you asked 2 people if they wanted to go, therefore they should have paid.

you are at fault for not indicating that they weren’t free tickets!

If you hadn't messaged the people who went with you with something like "I have tickets to XYZ event, they cost £ABC" then you can't expect payment, especially not after the fact. But if I were one of the first group, and I thought you's sold on and not given away my ticket, I'd be annoyed and wouldn't be inclined to pay. I'd think that's on you for not giving away and not selling on my ticket.

Useless for this situation, but next time, I'd want to collect money before buying tickets.

If I dropped out and left my friend without anyone to go to an event it’s because of my flakiness I’d be pleased they found someone to take my place. I honestly wouldn’t dream of asking my friend to also charge them.

But they didn't agree to pay for two other people to attend! I would not expect to pay for tickets that somebody else used! If you don't want to ask Cheryl and Jessica to pay, you need to pay for them yourself. It's not up to you to decide that Phillipa and Sarah will pay for Cheryl and Jessica to attend! The normal etiquette is that the attendees pay! You can't expect someone else to pay for a gift you chose to make.

They’re not. I don’t care about the money, I care about Sarah and Philippa promising to pay for tickets and not doing so.

But you'd found people to take the tickets so S & P might not have expected to pay.

What are you going to do?

how much did they cost?

Well, I asked them if Cheryl and Jessica could have the spare tickets, not buy them.

It depends on how the second set of people were invited. Were they told the price before agreeing to come? Or did they just assume it was free to them? Why wasn't who was paying not clarified before the event?

It's flaky of the original buyers. They should have paid or asked you if you knew anyone who wanted to buy the tickets from them.

It should have been the original buyers unless the second people offered then were asked to go knowing the cost.

Did the original buyers ask you to offer the tickets for free to others? Or did they ask you to sell them?

I think you have caused the problem by letting others use the tickets. In effect you are asking 2 people to pay for something that 2 other people used.

Why did you not think that S&J would prefer to have the actual attendees pay for the tickets? Why not mention money?

You might say again that you’re not a ticket re-seller, but from S&P’s point of view you really did position yourself that way.

Surely the normal etiquette when you say ‘okay Marie, you buy the tickets and we’ll transfer the money’ is to actually transfer the money to Marie?

The whole issue is down to lack of clear communication on all parts, it seems.

I’m just going to whinge about it and do nothing.

They were £15. Which I suppose adds to my skepticism that Philippa suddenly couldn’t afford it.

OK based on the timeline the original two should have already paid way before this became an issue. And them when you asked to give to someone else they would have already paid and they could then say yes but can you ask if they'll pay half or something or just give them away.
They shouldn't have left you out of pocket fir two months.

Both original mates outrageous, but especially the later one

Well, I asked them if Cheryl and Jessica could have the spare tickets, not buy them

Oh come on! Surely you can see that “have” can mean “have for free” or “have for money”.

Especially with Susan - because it made sense that you’d be checking with Phillippa about Cheryl coming, in case Phillippa didn’t want her there. (when Philippa was still coming?)

I interpreted “can Cheryl have the ticket” as “so we OK with Cheryl joining?” not “shall I just give the ticket away for free?”

From all your follow up posts, it’s really your communication that caused this.

As of right now, S & P probably think you were paid for them by C & J!

Neither in Sarah’s case. Philippa asked if I knew anyone who ‘wanted’ hers because she couldn’t afford the taxi etc.

But this was ambiguous, as money wasn't mentioned. It would be normal for the attendees to pay, so I imagine Phillipa and Sarah expected Cheryl and Jessica to pay. It's really odd that you think that Philippa and Sarah should pay for your choice to give the tickets away for free. Cheryl and Jessica are tight CFs if they didn't insist on paying for their tickets, and if they did offer and you refused payment, then it's up to you to pay.

What should I have done? Not asked if anyone wanted to use them and not have went, wasting three tickets?

You’ve messed up by not being clear. Do they know each other? If so I’d set up a group chat and if nobody offers to pay just point out it’s cost you triple to go.

You made the mistake of not getting the money off the 1st 2 people even before they pulled out, as they owed u since Feb.

The people who caused the problem are the flakey fuckers who originally pulled out

This is entirely your own fault . If you said to me ‘oh can Jessica have your ticket ‘ I would naturally assume that Jessica was going to pay for it , why would I be paying for Jessica to go anywhere ?