Who should pay for these tickets?

[Ppejfhfhrhhfhf]

I was going to an event with Sarah and Philippa. I bought the tickets and they were meant to transfer the money.

Sarah then said her DH had arranged to see friends and so she could no longer come. Annoying, but okay. I asked Philippa if it would be okay if we offered the ticket to another mutual friend, Cheryl. Philippa said yes, but that she had seriously overspent so could no longer afford to come and so did I want to find someone else take her ticket too.

I was annoyed, and said I couldn’t think of anyone to take it but if she didn’t want to come just send the money and don’t come. She said she’d send it when she was paid. Meanwhile, Cheryl and I went for drinks with Jessica, mentioned there was a spare ticket, and Jessica said she’d like to come.

So Cheryl, Jessica and I went to the event. I have been paid for the tickets by no one.

Who should pay?

YABU - Cheryl and Jessica
YANBU - Sarah and Philippa

What should I have done? Not asked if anyone wanted to use them and not have went, wasting three tickets?

What you should have done is get the money immediately you bought the tickets.

But then you should have said, “Chezza, Susan’s ticket was £15 but she can’t come - do you want to come instead? Would be paid to me as Susan hasn’t transferred yet?”

If Cheryl said she was strapped for cash so actually no - you could have relayed to Susan that the “sale” had fallen through, and she would have had the chance to say, “someone may have the use, I’ve transferred you the money, tell Cheryl it’s on me!”

Of course you’ll say you’re not a ticket resell business… and I agree, but in this case you put yourself in the middle.

It’s really rude for S & P to leave you out of pocket… but there’s a really good chance that they have no idea that they have!!

You should have been clear to everyone.

You weren't; hence the misunderstanding.

They’re flakey fuckers for sure - but it was OP who caused the problem.

That fact that this was booked in February and you didn’t get paid by the original 2 attendees is also 🤯

I had someone's ticket a couple of weeks ago for a performance because she had to cancel, but she still paid for it. it isn't something I would've chosen to spend my money on, and actually I don't have much money at the moment because of ill health, but I went because my friend wanted somebody to go with. This is maybe slightly different from if it is something that you would've wanted to go to anyway but I'm not quite sure where you would draw the line.

They’re both the polar opposite of tight CFs. I would never ask either of them for £15 and they’d never ask me.

Sarah and Philippa, however, would ask you for 50p to split the cost of the pound for the trolley.

I suppose I should’ve posted asking if Sarah and Philippa are unreasonable, because Cheryl and Jessica aren’t being.

I think the big takeaway is how people view tickets they’ve paid for (or agreed to pay for) and not used. I would never expect to be reimbursed, but it seems I’m in the minority, so maybe Sarah and Philippa assume I have been. I still think they should’ve sent the money though, and well before they dropped out.

You should have asked Sarah and Phillipa for the money before buying the tickets IMO.

This is why I never pay for anything for a group unless everyone is ready to pay the same day.

I think The original people should have immediately paid you the money for the tickets. And then, I think when you did find people to go in their place, you should have made it clear to them to pay for the tickets and then refund the original people.

I think its been made difficult by not asking the replacement people at the time to pay for their tickets.

Did you explicitly say "okay well I've found people to take the tickets, but I still need you to pay" Otherwise the assumption would have been that J&P were paying?

(And quite frankly if I were S or P I'd have assumed the same or if I'd been told I was still liable for the ticket I'd have told you I wasn't paying and you need to charge J&C)

Anyway @Ppejfhfhrhhfhf it seems abundantly clear you think you're in the right despite being told by most posters that you aren't, so I'll bow out now.

This is absolutely how I think.

90% of almost 300 posters disgaree with you OP!!

In which case I’d have said none of us would go and they still had to pay. Mind blowing that you think it’s okay to promise to pay for a ticket then decide you don’t have to because you’ve changed your mind.

😂 Thanks for this. It does say so at the top of the page, but thanks for the update I suppose.

It’s really not something to get yourself too invested in.

100%, and asked for it earlier, as they would’ve done. I just assumed they’d pay eventually and wasn’t desperate for it.

Mind blowing that you think it’s okay to promise to pay for a ticket then decide you don’t have to because you’ve changed your mind.

But S+P don't think that. The reason they don't think they should pay is because other people went instead of them, and they believed C+J were paying you for the tickets.

Mind blowing that you think it’s okay to promise to pay for a ticket then decide you don’t have to because you’ve changed your mind.

But WHY are you assuming that they’re not paying because they’ve changed their minds, when a lot of people here think they’re not paying because they think you arranged for C & J to pay?

I think you know that you’ve caused this, because you haven’t actually asked them to pay.

Otherwise the thread would be, “I just asked S & P to pay up and they’re saying that C & J should pay. AIBU to think it was obvious I gave the tickets to C & J for free?”

You’re painting S & P as flaky non-payers, but I think they’re just flaky.

Cheryl and Jessica

I think that's what's caused the issue, though.

It looks like you bought three tickets then P & S changed their minds, leaving you with the tickets to sell to other people. If you hadn't managed to get J & C to go, they'd probably have paid up, but as it is, the tickets went to other people so they think they're off the hook.

At least you know not to buy tickets for the first 2 ever again , it could have been worse and been a lot of money .

The ambiguity is in the phrase "Can xxxx have your spare ticket?". That could be interpreted by the original ticketholders as "Just checking that you haven't changed your mind and intend coming after all, before I sell it to xxxxxx".

So while the original ticketholders are bad friends for not paying you as soon as you bought the tickets, and are bad friends for being so flaky, their behaviour in not offering to pay you now is NOT indicative of being bad friends, as they most likely assume you have been paid by the two who went to the event.

And they haven’t paid, since February. I should’ve already had the money. I wasn’t holding the tickets with them deciding whether to come. They’d agreed to pay.

It’s probably because you’re still adamantly protesting that you’re in the right despite most people telling you otherwise.

This is it absolutely. I think they are on the hook, and if they’d wanted reimbursement they should’ve spoken to Jessica and Cheryl.

Absolutely. Never again.