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AIBU?

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Original poster

"Holiday" with toddlers

108 replies

RaisingFlames · 04/05/2024 15:55

I've just returned from a week in the sun with DH and our 2 DS (3 & 2). I honestly feel more burnt out now than I did before we went. My mental health is genuinely in tatters, I'm so stressed out!

Maybe it's an age and stage thing as we've been away before and it was fine, but this time.... Constant moaning/tantrums, neither one listening to a word we said, took an hour to get out the door most days, fought sleep like it was the enemy. DH and I had no downtime at all and we were both tired and grumpy the whole time.

AIBU to think that holidays aren't worth the expense with such young kids?

OP posts:
BibbleandSqwauk · 04/05/2024 15:59

I just think there are so many variables you can't answer yes it no to this. It may have been that particular location / beds / temperature that just didnt work for you but another time it would be fine. I think the key is low expectations around activities, no timetable to stick to, simple clothes, meals, flexibility etc.

needsomesunshine65 · 04/05/2024 16:00

Yep not worth it. We're skipping those types of holidays with our toddler for now.

We've done city weekends alone once a year and our DC stays with the grandparents. It's the only way to actually recharge.

Wingingit11 · 04/05/2024 16:01

Holidays with toddlers are definitely intensive ! Unless it is particularly child focussed eg activities on tap but even then - it’s a lot! 😭

bluetopazlove · 04/05/2024 16:06

Yeah holidaying with kids is very full on . That said I do think they benefit from it , those memories will last a lifetime for your kids .

PeloMom · 04/05/2024 16:06

Depends. At that age we either brought a relative to help out or researched places with age appropriate kids club.
some places also have a reputable nanny agency they work with and we have hired Nannies this way too during holidays. It has to feel at least a little bit as our holiday too.

NoKnit · 04/05/2024 16:15

bluetopazlove · 04/05/2024 16:06

Yeah holidaying with kids is very full on . That said I do think they benefit from it , those memories will last a lifetime for your kids .

Except for the fact that at 2 and 3 they won't remember any of it.

Totally not unreasonable I was the same when mine were little. It does get better when they can swim and go pool themselves etc

wast542 · 04/05/2024 16:19

I always felt at that age and even now (5&6) it's much easier on holiday. There's no timetable or rush to get anywhere and the kids can run around and have fun in the pool.

menopausalmare · 04/05/2024 16:23

Ain't no such thing. It's a change of scenery and more work.

Rainbowsallaround230 · 04/05/2024 16:26

We went the coast last month with 2 and 4 year old for a few nights and they had a great time. Basically just wanted to play on the beach the whole time. We had a place a few mins walk from the beach. We said to ourselves whilst we were there actually that why would be pay loads of money and stress to fly somewhere when at this age they really do just love the simple things!

unsurebut · 04/05/2024 16:29

We're away for a 'break' on our boat atm with dd 18m and I am genuinely wondering why we left our nice house with lots of space and set up for toddlers to spend a couple of days cooped up in a boat. She won't settle, demands constant attention (different from the norm), there's no room to play with her properly and DP and I are shattered after sailing all the way here!

somethingfunny · 04/05/2024 16:33

It's not a holiday, it's a trip. It gets easier when you adjust your expectations accordingly

ontheflighttosingapore · 04/05/2024 16:35

Yep easier being at home

Lilyhatesjaz · 04/05/2024 16:38

When my LOs were that young we hired a caravan in Cornwall and basically alternated between the beach and child centered attractions basically soft play and outdoor play.
It was reasonably relaxing to sit with a coffee while they were in the ball pool.
We didn't attempt abroad until they were much older.

mybeautifulhorse · 04/05/2024 16:39

Yeah it's not really a holiday. I have three kids aged 4, 7 and 8. For the past few years we have just done a caravan in the UK because I'm not willing to spend thousands on going abroad while the holidays are still... challenging.

I do enjoy going away but we have very low expectations - I know it's easier to do self catering for breakfast and probably lunch most days, so there is the inevitable cooking and cleaning stuff. I will not go anywhere without a dishwasher though! When we go out to eat it will be expensive and the kids will probably bicker at some point. It's just how it is. I find it better to not expect it to be some sort of idyllic instagrammable thing, because then when you do get the moments of pure joy and harmony you appreciate them more!

DelurkingAJ · 04/05/2024 16:44

It’s funny because I find UK holidays a million times worse because if it pours with rain (Cornwall, August when DS1 was 3) then the beach is cold and you might as well be at home. At least in the South of France (for the same money!) you will have good beach weather.

Yes to taking spare adult(s). We used to reckon 2 adults per child. Luckily my DParents were always happy to come along and muck in. Even now DM comes away with us and it just gives everyone more bandwidth.

Santasbigredbobblehat · 04/05/2024 16:52

When mine were that age we didn’t bother going abroad. Did the old Centre Parcs in term time-fine with a lodge, playground and pool. We stayed in a house near a beach, again fine, you mooch around doing the same stuff like coffee shops and the supermarket in a different town but you can also visit the beach. Or we spent the money and stayed in a hotel for a few nights that had a creche and a babysitting service so we could get a break and eat dinner downstairs. Nothing else was worth the effort. Now they are between 6 and 11 we go abroad and it’s fun. You just have to ride this bit out.

longdistanceclaraclara · 04/05/2024 16:53

Same shit, different location.

ScaffoldingLaundry · 04/05/2024 17:02

We have a 4 and 1 year old & holiday in the UK. It’s easier for us - cheaper, no pressure, no long travel times & the child friendly mild weather means we all have a lovely time.

We usually do 2 holidays , Haven & a cottage holiday someone, plus go camping a couple of times a year for a long weekend. Our 4 year old doesn’t stop talking about Haven, it’s her favourite place.

Kids that age really don’t care whether they’re abroad or in Skegness, as long as it’s fun.

Having said that, I’m looking forward to going abroad in a couple of years time as a family, but for now we’ll enjoy all the gems the UK has to offer.

WhatNoRaisins · 04/05/2024 17:06

I'm very cynical about going abroad with toddlers unless you go with family that want to help with them.

coxesorangepippin · 04/05/2024 17:07

Yup. You need eyes in the back of your head.

You can't even have a break and send them to nursery. And it's hot. And they don't like the food.

And you're paying for this?!?!

FlameTulip · 04/05/2024 17:09

YANBU

lpylou · 04/05/2024 17:15

DH always says the worst day on holiday is still better than our best days at home and I agree. No work, no drop off or pick ups but then again we work 5 days a week, have no family support and DS is in nursery all week. Plus we only have one...

We will always travel even with two. What's your home set up? Childcare/work wise.

Our 18m DS was a terror the first few days on holiday but we realised quickly he was waking from naps distraught, and when we did pay for a babysitter to take him to the kids club she said he fell asleep. We downloaded and app and realised he was in a sleep debt. We were followed the instructions of wake windows and early bedtimes, within a couple days he was a new boy. It was a great holiday!!

MissAtomicBomb1 · 04/05/2024 17:19

WhatNoRaisins · 04/05/2024 17:06

I'm very cynical about going abroad with toddlers unless you go with family that want to help with them.

Yes this! The best holiday abroad we had was when my parents came and helped out. Also found out the hard way that being together in a hotel room was no fun so apartments worked better for us.
Otherwise you're better sticking to the UK. We've had nice holidays at center parcs/Butlins/Haven where it's all very geared up for kids. I think you just have to go with the 'if they're happy, we're happy' approach for the toddler years.
It gets easier once they're 5-6 and don't need naps etc. Mine are now 8 and 12 and it does actually feel like a holiday again!

Sugarcoatedalmonds · 04/05/2024 17:24

Oh absolutely! On holiday in an aparthotel now with my toddlers (3.5 and 2) absolutely exhausted and so ready to go home!

We've gone all inclusive TUI Blue so its very family friendly but bloody hard work.

DarkForces · 04/05/2024 17:27

We enjoyed the Butlins just for tots breaks. The redcoats entertain them by the stage while we chill with a coffee/wine plus just by the beach, pool, free rides... we paid for decent accommodation and had a ball. Also lots of caravan sites less than 3 hours away! Dd is 12 now so lots more options!